@Anza Very similar, so I get that. Sundays are terrible. As that was the day Sharon and I spent alone together: “you and me kid, together against the World”.
And I cared for my sweetest darling Sharon for 3 years while she refused to be beaten by the “6 weeks to 3 months” prognosis of stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer in July 2019. I suppressed everything to be strong for Sharon, but now I can’t deal with the devastating loss.
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Hi All,
I’m 9 months into this journey and agree that my soulmate would not want me to be so sad and lonely for the rest of my life. I’m 61.
Ironically we had talked about what we should do if anything happened to one of us and we both agreed that, we should try to find happiness again, ,never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would happen, we only got 5 wonderful years together and I feel completely robbed.
I know it would be impossible to find the love we had, it was unique and Pete was perfect in every way, he would always laugh when I told him so, his reply was always “I’m just me who loves you and will do forever”
I really don’t want to to spend the rest of my life alone but I’m so scared to move on without him and can’t imagine ever loving anyone so intensely again but as others have said on here, maybe there could be a different kind of love or companionship.
This morning I was outside tiding around the front of my house and a lady who was passing stopped her car and asked how I was, she said she didn’t know me personally but knew about Pete passing away very suddenly and unexpectedly, said I think you should give yourself a pat on the back, your house is looking lovely and I think your husband would be very proud of you.
I started to cry, my way of coping has been to try and carry on the work Pete and I started on this house and she did make me feel I am doing that.
I guess it’s just as well that we don’t know what’s round the corner for us, Pete always said he tried to live every day like it was his last and I’m trying to do the same.
Love to all of you.
Muldool
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Likewise. I always feel that whatever my bloke mates have to say ius so insincere and lacks understanding.
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Hi - that sounds good - signing up for,classes - I want to improve my Greek and have wanted to do that for,ages but the classes may be few and far between.maybe I should try Spanish or Italian instead .
Thank you for the positive plans and it has me thinking I also need to plan for winter in the same way.
We spent our evenings together just being at home was fine with my husband - but on my own? Grieving and missing him? Not so cosy
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Hi, I know how you feel as I lost my husband very suddenly 8 weeks ago, after 39 years together. Try not to dwell on not having children, even children don’t get what you’re feeling, how can they as they haven’t been faced with loss like we have. Don’t try to cope alone, I went to my GP as sleep was a real problem. I’ve been prescribed an antidepressant, not for my loss but to help with sleep. It is helping a bit. I also bought a book called Heartbroken by Gary Roe. It has some good stuff in it that could help in time. I guess we both have a lot of crying to do, but there’s one thing my doctor said which gives me hope. She said it’s terrible now, but eventually you’ll be able to take comfort from the wonderful years you had and all the memories you have of good times. Try and think of all those people who haven’t had such a wonderful husband and though we’re struggling now at least we did have all that time with them. My heart goes out to you, take it a day at a time and take care of yourself. x
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I coudnt agree more. I dont like to bother people as they have their own problems and families to deal with and they often make it clear that they resent giving up their time to someone for whom they think they cant help much. however what gets my goat is that they totally forget what your going through and how much the bereaved appreciate company. Quite honestly I dont care if they even exist any more and treat them as such. That way, I wont have to bothered by them when they’re in need of the help or company or favours that bereaved people appreciate.
Thank you for your thoughts and the book recommendation Janie
Yes I do feel that people,who don’t understand could never have had the wonderful relationships with husband wives and partners that we talk about here and so couldn’t understand the huge loss and devastation. we are facing .
But still …… the pain of it …… 
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@BIGAL1 yes, totally. I definitely prefer the support of women - no idea why, but I thing blokes just get embarrassed and don’t really want to hear… Whereas women listen?
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Oh Jessica I am so sorry you’re finding it all so hard. I lost my wife of 42 years in July .The only cure I can find is company. I’ve joined a local craft group and will seek out as many groups and forums as I can Sending you much love.
Nigel.
@Nigel2 I am feeling it is hard to go on another day when my beloved died everything of my life went with him we worked the farm together all that was taken away (long and complicated story) he was only my soul mate and friend for 44 years. Now I see no one as no family one good friend but she has a partner so it is difficult. The pain of not seeing him everyday I do not want to put one foot in front of the other. This grief is slowly getting worse each day and I do not know if I am strong enough to survive this. I was a healthy 72 year old now I feel like I am really old and completely worn out. I pray each day for it not to start all over again
Jessica
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JessicaI went to school in Plympton, the secondary modern. They taught me beekeeping gardening and how to make something from nothing very much. That’s what we have to do now, rebuild our lives and find an inner strength to work with. Sometime in the future we’ll laugh and be happy again.
Love Nigel xx
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Hi Anza so sorry about your loss. It’s heartbreaking for you and everyone on here I have councilling session s once a week and I think they have helped me a little but also coming on here has helped me quite a bit as we are all grieving the same. Sending you my love and hugs shellyanne XX
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So my baby’s funeral is tomorrow. I spent a few hours at his Mums but the coming and goings, people laughing etc made me feel physically sick. I came home to find a box from the organ donation society, full of little gold hearts. I actually can’t cry and it is making me anxious…. 
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Hi , so so sorry for your loss . Hope you find the strength to help you through tomorrow . Sending love and hugs . Thinking of you xtake care x
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I expect You’re caught up in a whirl of having so much to do and organise. but your tears will come and every time you manage to stop crying will be another little victory over the sadness. In the meantime I’ll cry for you.
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thank you ….
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Thank you
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Sending you hugs and my love I know what you are going through shellyanne XX
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Thank you 
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@Dottie72 - I hope today goes ok and you find the strength to get through it.
I also had the box of heart badges from organ donation - I haven’t been able to get them out of the box, or to even show them to anyone. It’s too hard to even speak about. I’m hoping that eventually the organ donation brings some comfort but so far it hasn’t for me. I know donating my husband’s organs was the right decision and was what he wanted.
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