HI I think I sent you a pm. Do you know how to see it? tell me if you got it.
I am so sorry for your loss and I really feel your pain. My husband died suddenly on Saturday. The Police knocked on my door at 8am he was found at the bottom of some stairs outside his flat. (We were living separately but still together - complicated!) They think he fell but Iām not convinced. He was there all night and found by some shop workers at 7am. There is a post mortem tomorrow which I am hoping will give us some answers. Iām 62 and he was 61 we have 2 children 34 and 29 and I have 2 daughters from my first marriage. We were together for 36 years and I am in total shock. I canāt eat, sleep or function in any form, the children are having to do everything for me. The utter disbelief is overwhelming. I lost both my parents suddenly in the last few years and this is just all too much to bear. Will I ever stop thinking he is going to walk in the door?
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You just need to take it one breath at a time at the moment. Let people help with practical stuff and get support from anywhere that you can. I am 5 months on and still think he will walk in the door- my husband died suddenly and with no warning as well. Keep posting here - people will be supportive. You may also find the website refugeingrief.com useful - itās written by someone who lost their partner suddenly. Take care
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I am so sorry for your loss, my husband died 10 weeks ago after a short illness. Your word struck so many cords with me
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Hi Kim
I am so sorry for your loss. Itās good you have come to this site so early on, you will get a great deal of support. My husband died suddenly at home 9 months ago, itās such a shock. You will be in disbelief now and almost on auto pilot. Take all the support you can, and take an hour at a time, itās a hard time and everything is raw. Keep talking. x
Hi so sorry to hear of your loss. Keep sharing on the site, everyone on here will try and support each other, thinking of you x
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You know when you think your doing ok and then it comes crashing down like a ton of brick again - well that happened to me last night.
Itās been just over 16 weeks since my husband passed away and we went out for his twins birthday last night, we had a good night but he was a big miss but itās when I walked back into our empty house it really hit me all over again. I know Iāve done it all of this time but it really hit home last night and had a bit of a meltdown. Now I know this is normal to happen but it just knocks you so much and takes you back over.
I donāt think weāll ever get over it we just have to find some way of living through it. Have other experienced this too? X
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Yes all the time. I am struggling after 6 moinths. I canāt be bothered to do anything like housework I am getting in a terrible mess. There seems no point to anything any more. I am lonely and totally heartbroken & broken. I really understand how you feel.
If another person tells me to be strong or you know where I am
If you need me I will scream. They donāt mean it because they donāt call and never text back. I have stopped texting. I have always been there for others but I feel abandoned. I donāt know how to move forward. A good day is getting out of bed and actually having a wash. I feel like I am existing. I wonder when I will wake up and feel happy. Will I ever laugh again. Everything seems so hard. I feel physically ill. I feel I have no purpose now and wonder when this will change. I donāt want to be alone and feel anxious all the time. I push food in so I donāt feel worse than I already do. I never realised this would hurt so much. To suddenly lose your soulmate. I feel broken and feel I died also that day. I talk to my husband every night and tell him about my day. My greatest fear has always been being alone. My mum and dad have died. My mum seven years ago and my dad two years ago. I always went home every day looking after them both, mum with Parkinsonās and dad with lung disease. I feel frightened and alone and donāt even have mum and dad to talk to. I have happy memories but at the moment canāt think about them because I only see what I have lost. The day I met my husband was the day my life started and to life him so suddenly is incomprehensible. No more cups of tea no more laughing over silly things. No warm body in bed to hold. Life feels so lonely. I feel totally lost and paralysed with anxiety everyday when I wake. Does anyone else feel like this
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My husband died suddenly and with no warning at the age of 50. Yes, I identify with everything you have said. My whole purpose was being with him and especially as we got older. I get up and go through the motions and am back at work but for what? To keep a roof over my head etc. but then for what?
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Nel, I did feel like you for a while. I hated it when people told me to be strong. What on earth do they mean?! Do they mean donāt cry, donāt be upset? It is a terrible thing to say to a bereaved person.
Yes people say a lot of meaningless things like if you need anything just let me know. You certainly find out who really cares when you lose your husband. I found getting out and walking in the countryside helped me although thatās difficult at the moment with winter weather.
Yes you will feel happy again one day and you will feel like living again. Iām 13 years on from my husbandās sudden death at 54 and I still miss him. The difference is it isnāt horrinly painful anymore and Iāve found a different way of living. I listen to the music I want to listen to, cook myself what I want to eat. Sometimes I go to the cinema on my own to watch what I want to see. Itās a different way of life but Iāve come to enjoy it. Last year I went on holiday with friends which Iāve never done in my life but I surprised myself and really enjoyed itā¦
Sending you a hug. I donāt know you but I wouldnāt have bothered to write this if I didnāt care xx
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Thank you Chris. I woke up this morning with the anxiety in my stomach and I just donāt know how to make it go. Iāve walked my dog and done the dishes. Itās 9.15 am. What do I do for the rest of the day x
Nel, you could go to a nice family pub for lunch. Have a glass of wine, itās Sunday! Thatās what Iām doing after my walk. In the meantime have a look on your TV/TV paper to see if thereās a nice film on this afternoon xx
Oh Nel I know exactly how youāre feeling. Iām trying to start a new life I moved away and Iām not really getting anywhere. Iām a little socially anxious and depressed but Iām trying to be strong. Some days it just hits me like itās just happened again. Iām so far apart from my children too. Take it one step at a time do what has been suggested treat yourself to a nice cake and a cuppa and a good film Iāve watched more TV than ever before itās a sort of escapism. I hope you have a better day xx
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Kim did you not think of moving nearer to the children. You may have felt better being nearer to family. A small distance so you all have your freedom but close enough to see each other regularly. Big hugs x
Nel, youāll laugh, Iām having my lunch in the pub and thereās a pop song playing saying āIām a wreckā over and over. Young people theyāre so self-obsessed arenāt they? They have no idea! 
Thatās so apt Chris you canāt even go to the pub without being reminded your a wreck. Hope you are enjoying yourself. 
Yes I am thanks. I forgot how long it took to walk here so arrived a bit hot and bothered but the meal is lovely xx
No thatās the issue theyāre scattered north and south and I tried to get an exchange north but it fell through so I just went for the next one!
Dear Nel
Your words could be mine.
Sheila