I have a daughter and 2 granddaughters, they keep me going and its lovely to have children in the house again its helping heal me a little, i treasure them that extra bit more now i realise just how precious life is.
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I have my sons daughter here today, she is 7, she loves to watch videos of her daddy and weāve been crying together.
She was the apple of his eye and I sit and look at her trying not to cry all day.
Its just not fair, not right in any way. He should still be here
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I have my Laurenās 19 year old daughter living with us. Itās hell.
She talks to me with such disrespect. This is how she was with her mum from lockdown onwards. She had just hit 13 and the hormones had kicked in and she was horrid to Lauren, her mum. Me and hubby covered for her a lot as she was first grandchild and we blamed lockdown and used to say to Lauren ā itās her ageā etc.
Now I feel guilty about that. I should have supported my Lauren more.
I canāt cry in front of her because if I do she accuses me of taking away her pain. Which she claims is far worse than mine. She has never had counselling and I think she needs it.
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That must be horrendous for you and I really canāt imagine what you feel like. However she needs to know she canāt treat you badly especially when you love her so much. Sheās gone through a terrible time but she needs to realise that your daughter was your baby. You are struggling through the worse loss anyone has to endure. Have you tried to talk to her about it? Will she sit with you and talk things over .
If Iāve said anything to cause offence Iām sorry and donāt mean to x
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Oh thats such a hard age to deal with losing your mum, must he so hard for you, all i can say is hopefully with time she will realise just how hard it is for you, we are not meant to lose our children before us.
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No offence taken just gratitude for reading. Iāve tried everything from trying to talk reasonably to her, treating her the way she treats me, ignoring her. At first people (hubby, son and his partner) thought I was probably imagining it all and being over sensitive then my husband heard her when she wasnāt aware he was home or on the phone. He tried speaking to her and she said āyou are dissing my feelingsā. Itās all tik tok language and social media behaviour.
Earlier this month we went on holiday for hubby birthday and we took son and daughter in law and granddaughter. For first three days Isabelle basically ignored me or if she did speak to me it was with condescension. I ended up one night in tears and my son and daughter in law came and found me and told me how appalled they were by Isabelleās behaviour as they had witnessed if for the first time. They spoke to her and her response was she was only joking ( which is what she used to say to us when I would reprimand her for talking bad to her mum).
I scream and cry and ask Lauren to intervene if she can, I ask Lauren why did she have to die and leave me with Isabelle. Iāve even thought that it should have been Isabelle that died not Lauren but then I wouldnāt want Lauren to go through this pain of losing a child.
Friends have said that Lauren died knowing we would sort Isabelle out and guide her to the right path.
Isabelle, hubby and myself used to have a fabulous relationship. We used to have hugs and cuddles, not anymore, she claims she has social anxiety but I see her with few friends she has and she will hug them. She doesnāt eat with us claiming she has issues with the sound of us eating but she always used to eat with us before her mum died. I would love to be able to look at Isabelle and feel close to her mum, my daughter through her. I just feel more pain when I look at her.
Thank you all for reading and caring
Hugs to you all
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Sending deepest love to you for all you are going through on top of the worst pain a mother could bear. I have no words just you are in my thoughts dear lady 
My heart brakes for you and the situation you find yourself in. Unfortunately kids today can access anything they like on phones and are easily influenced. Teenagers especially can be very manipulative and know far too much thanks to being able to see whatever they like at the touch of a fingertip. Can you and your husband sit here down and tell her how you feel? X
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Iām sitting in the house when itās a beautiful day outside and , āI want to see Rupert ā is on repeat in my head like it is everyday. My life is filled with longing and misery because I need him here with me so much x
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Ali76, Its āthat day of the weekā for me.
Every day hurts so bad but wednesdsy reality tries to kick in but I wont accept it.
Every day i plod through hoping the following day Iāll wake up with my son but as yet Iām still here.
Just waiting for the day Iāll be with him once more.
I hate this life so much, I just want my boy
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I hate it too, itās a living hell x
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Husband rang me yesterday from work to tell me he was going to be late home because one of the admin staff at one of their other offices had died suddenly and unexpectedly in the office, as far as anyone was aware she was not ill, just dropped to the floor and died. So like my Lauren who was 41. She was 38years old, a single mum of one child who is a teen.
I sobbed and sobbed. I didnāt know this lady and whilst I had tears for her I was crying for her mum. Knowing the pain that she is now going through that will never leave.
All through my life until Lauren died, I knew people died because they had lived their life, and knew sometimes younger people died because of illness that couldnāt be cured. But I never ever considered that young fit people just dropped.
Hugs to all
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Poor girl, itās frightening. This is a horrible club weāre in and none of us knows whatās around the corner but we never expect to lose our precious children. Now the girl whoās diedās parents are in this god awful predicament x
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Yes the worst club to be in but im grateful for finding it, hugs to all x
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Hi,
The 6 month anniversary of my sonās death will be August 25th. His 36th birthday is September 4th. I struggle with all the holidays. I miss him so much. He died on a Monday. I hate all of this for all of us!
Thanks for reading. 
Debbie
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It was the 6 month anniversay of my sons funeral last week and his birthday is next week, its all such a blur at the moment it seems to hit really hard right now, he died on a Monday too
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Bam how awful for that poor mother, my thoughts are with her, like the rest of us here going through this tremendous pain.
At the same time, and its awful to say, why couldnāt that be me? Then Iād be with my boy.
Its terrible thing to say but I hope you all understand what Iām saying?
Hugs 
to you allā
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I feel terrible tonight. I was at my nieceās wedding yesterday and had a lovely time. Today however itās just hammered home the fact the my son is never going to get married and have children. Iāve cried so many times today. I just want him back, I miss him so much x
My niece took her own life four years ago too and her sister had this on her bouquet . A picture of my niece and one of my son. When the wedding was over and we at the reception she came straight over and gave it to me. She said as soon as she bought it that was her intention. Iām heartbroken x
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So beautiful and yet so very sad, too young people.
Sending hugs
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What a very heartfelt thing for your niece to do. Obviously her way of keeping them close on her special day.
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