A few months after my son died my sister and I had a few tips to Whitby for the weekend. We went with our daughter’s and one of their friends last Christmas. My other sister had my dogs for me so there was no problem. My sister who used to have my dogs however now has her own dog so can’t do it anymore. Out of the blue (for me ) anyway the group have just announced they want to go to the Krampus run in December. I feel really upset as they know I can’t do it. I think they’ve known they were going to book it for a while and have just announced it. Do you think I’m being too sensitive? They all know my predicament?
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My son always looked after my dogs when I went anywhere and obviously he’s no longer here .
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Ali76, i think being over sensitive comes with the life we have now.
I get over sensitive, easily irritated and prone to episodes of tears .
I do feel for you and know my words haven’t helped and for that I’m sorry all I can offer is to listen, and I thank all you mums for listening to me too.
I miss my son constantly and long to be with him. 
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I’ve had the worse day today. I’ve never felt so alone and the absolute grief has been off the scale. I feel like other than here I don’t really have anyone to turn to. I don’t really talk about how I feel to my family as they don’t understand or one person will say I feel the same and because of that I can’t talk to her about it. I don’t have the words to describe how I’ve felt and am feeling right now. I feel completely alone in this. I know the remainder of my life will be me mourning my boy. My twin sister lives a couple of mins walk away and I can’t talk to her about it. I work in a school so I’m not at work and I think I’ve clapped eyes on my twin other from being at my niece’s hen do and her wedding. I hate my life at the minute .
I’m thinking about all us mams living through this horrendous heartache x
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Ali76
I had one of those days thursdsy, I cried all day. Every night when I say goodnight to my boys photo next to my bed I tell him about the day and last thing I say is “ night night angel love you, see you in the morning” and then its morning and I’m still here and not with him, so the days continue.
My sons partner has let her house go, his little boy who is 5 now has no respect or manners, there are no routines, no set meals or bedtime or bathtimes he is going so wild and it hurts so much that I know its not what my son wants for him, I feel she is disrespectful to my son totally and it hurts me so very much and there is nothing I can do. I offer advice and help but its not taken.
I ache so much, the pain of not seeing my boy every day gets harder.
I thank you ladies on here where I can talk freely.
I dont want to go on much longer without him.
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How do we live this it’s torture ? I sometimes wish I had the guts to stop it all but I love my daughter too much to leave her. I feel like I’m not living I’m just existing . Nothing in life prepares is for this kind a grief.
It’s relentless and always will be x
Thanks for replying, I needed someone who knows the pain of the heartache I’m suffering x
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The only thing stopping me doing anything is that my son would be furious and when I see him again I want him with open arms not crossed being angry with me. This existence we are in is relentlessly long and tearful and painful.
Thank you for listening to me, like us all we are here for each other 
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I feel terrible today x
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Understand and feel the same
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It never goes away
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I just miss him so much and want to see him.
I can’t still quite believe it. X
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Although my son is at home with me and I know its happened it still doesn’t seem real
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The reality is too painful. I carry on each day as normal keeping as busy as I can and distracted. The reminders however are frequent and when all goes quiet, the awful truth hits over and over again. This is the norm now for me
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I’M with you all, just want to see my son soooo much. I hate it. My heart is hurting.
I have to continue for my children and grandchildren but struggling so much.
I know Sam would be cross if I acted on any dark thoughts so I keep trying.
We are all in this dark hole together.
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It’s unbearable and I’m only here for my daughter. I’ve cried on and off all day, I’m just so desperate to have my son back. I couldn’t love him more if I tried x
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I’m having awful day, just crying, talking to my son, I miss him more than words could ever say, I just want to be with him.
I went to my spiritualist last night and the things he was saying is so much proof he is with me all the time, it is amazing to hear from him. He hears and sees everything. He told me I will be with him one day but thats not good enough one day is not what I want. I want to be with him now.
I love that boy so much, he is my best friend, my rock, my everything.
I plod through every day hoping it will be my last
I have no one to talk to who understands like you do on here.
Thank you for reading.
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I’m afraid I can’t say anything that will make it better. We all feel the same way
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Mum89 I understand exactly these feelings. Although I have another son with my grandchildren nothing can fill the void I feel. My lost son was my whole world, my best friend who understood me and I him. No one talks about him anymore which hurts. My world is shattered and is unbearable without him. The pain and longing just intensify.
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Bibby, i too have another son and daughter with grandchildren, and my son left 2 very young children. His brother talks about him but he lives 40 miles from me so I don’t see him often. My daughter lives closer but rarely mentions the brother she lost. They have good families, both of them, and I feel the son I lost was more my everything, the youngest and his loss is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone or indeed going through.
Thank you for your kind words 
Mum89. We are on the same wavelength with so much in common. It is impossible to explain how I feel about my precious boy without inferring he meant more to me than my other son and grandchildren and indeed more than life itself. My boy was my baby and we were so alike, my other son lives 200 miles away and rarely communicates. He is wrapped up in his family and his wife’s. My dear son also lived far away but phoned and texted every day. I still mourn what he has lost and put my feelings second but nothing makes it any easier. I am devoid of happiness and will never feel any joy or peace again. But I don’t care. I am still angry with life
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