Well ive had the most unthinkable happen to me and my family, the day before my sons 34th birthday my brother took his own life, were just shattered, my brother didnt go to my sons funeral, he really didnt handle death well, he had been spiralling with drugs the last 2 years and everything just got too much for him, this is just the worst time ever, i now have to go to the place i said goodbye to my son to say goodbye to my baby brother, my only peace is that they are now together causing mayhem as they did here 
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Bibby I absolute resonate with what you sayā
Katylou I am so very sorry to read this, my thoughts are with you 
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Katylou this is devastating. How much more suffering and tragedy can there be?
Mum89. Nobody else understands nor tries too. Thank you for getting it
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Bibby, unfortunately if you are not in the club we find ourselves in you wont get it.
I wouldnāt wish these feelings on my worst enemy.
Thank you also
Mum89 true understanding is what we need. Sadly our friends and family move on and donāt get it thinking that time heals. It doesnāt
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Time certainly doesnāt heal, I fact time makes it worse the further we go away from our children but every day is one step closer to being with them, there just seem so many more steps than Iād like.
The longer we havenāt seen them the more difficult it becomes. Nothing at all brings joy and enjoyment. There are so many special dates which stab the heart. This is the cruellest torture anyone can faceā
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So sorry to hear of your baby brother. What a lot for you and your family. So much pain.
this club is the one none of us want to be in and no one wants to join.
I donāt know how to honour my son or āliveā for him. I mean, how do I?
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It really is a lot to deal with but we carry on because we have to dont we, my son had such a zest for life i feel im letting him down if i just have a lazy day or dont do anything productive, sometimes i feel im wasting my life and would give it up in a heartbeat for him to have his back as he really did make the most of his.
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We do have to carry on, we carry the pain because we carry so much love for our children. My son was living his best life and I looked on so proudly. Like your son he had a zest for life. Beautiful boys, should be here.
Sending you love as you continue with this extra tough time for your little brother.
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Iām so so sorry for all of you, I hate to tell time isnāt a great healer, my boys passing will be on Wednesday.
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I actually wish there is\ was more support groups for grieving parents.
I had counciling it helped but all I wanted was to talk to someone,another
Parent that could understand what I was saying and going through.
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Kathy1967
I too have had counselling and still do once a month.
Yes I would like to meet other parents face to face to be able to chat to one another but there is nothing like that where I live.
You ladies on here are really the only ones that understand and dont judge.
Sending to you all
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After 2 days over the weekend filled with tears, screaming fits and utterly exhaustion i now learn that my sons partner is going to move house.
She lives in the house where my son took his last breath, she found him and said she needs to move now for her own mental health. I understand that but am now breaking my heart a bit more, that is my sons home, and I cant bear to think someone strange will live there, i feel another part of him is slipping away.
She said she feels the time is right for her to move forward with the children but I cannot get to grips with it. Move forward? Whats that all about? I cannot move forward, I am stuck in the day i found out my boy had gone and I will never move on from that.
Am I being selfish feeling this way towards her? I value all your words as we travel these roads together, long, empty roads till we are with our children once more.
Thank you ladies
Mum89. Again I fully understand how you feel about your sonās house. I am in the same situation as you. Two years after losing my soul mate his fiancĆ©e has put their house on the market. Iām not sure if now, three months later, it has sold. We donāt talk. She too has moved on. It is heartbreaking. Itās like the last piece of their life is being broken. What else is there, how many more blows can we take?
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Youre not being selfish at all its one of the last bits of your son you got to cling to. My son lived with me whenever he came home and i dont think Iāll ever be able to leave this house, it was his home, but saying that, to live in a house where your husband has died is something i dont know id be able to do either, theres just no getting away from the horrid thoughts for her day in and day out. Im sure shes not doing it to upset you and maybe you could talk to her and have some of his valued possessions to put in your house so you still have something of his to remind you of his life there, weāll never forget our darling boys and im not saying she has to move on, just the memories for her in that house must be hard to deal with. Big hugs to you and i hope you find peace with whatever she decides x
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Bibby and Katylou
Thank you for your words, my son moved me into the place I live now. He decorated everywhere and made things to hide pipes etc. Its full of memories of his love for me and I feel contented here and I have him with me also in pride of place in living room. I have his favourite tee shirt I lay on my pillow at night. I am surrounded by him here. She said she will take all his possessions with her. I feel we are drifting apart slightly and if she moves there will be a bigger gap between us. I know feelings are different between losing a partner and losing a son. She has her life to lead now but for me my life stopped when my son stopped breathing and being here surrounded with beautiful memories of my son, my best friend, my everything, is all I want to do until the day i join him, which I long so much to do. I live alone, barely go out anymore but feel contented here in my bubble Iāve created.
Thank you though for your kind words 
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Oh bless you, my son didnt have a partner or children so i honestly dont know how you are feeling, i just hope you can find the strength to get through this 
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I totally understand. My son was married with a son and a baby on the way. We were all very close. My d-in-law has a new boyfriend and heās met the children staying over etc. I saw the children daily for the first 20 months, but then she went online to find love. I feel hurt and betrayed for my son. I canāt go into their house because I hate that another man has been sleeping there. I always had so much comfort there and my son loved his house. It was his final place here.
I am so lost right now. Broken. Itās like losing our sonās all over again.
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Awww bless your heart i do feel for you so much.
Others around seem to be moving forward but I cant, I am still in the same place when I found out my son had left us.
My daughter in law now plans on moving, she has let the house go so badly and the garden which my son lived and took care of and his little boy is almost wild, no discipline, no structure with his growing up, i know my son is not happy. And yes it hurts so much.
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