I have never heard of a witness charge. Not sure I would want to do that personally. We had the curtains left open at the funeral service and my husband, daughter and I stayed after the congregation had left, so we could say our goodbyes.
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I can understand why you feel like that. We are all trying to work out why this terrible thing has happened to our children and also trying to find somebody or something to blame. It is very hard to move on from those thoughts to something more positive.
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Things definitely havenāt got better after the funeral. I feel life doesnāt have much purpose really. We now have to sort out my sonās flat which I am dreading. My husband is keen to rent it out but the thought of someone else being there, perhaps using his furniture and maybe not looking after the place as well as my son did is really upsetting.
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Thatās a hard one. For now I would not want anyone in the flat using furniture etc ā¦ but would your son want that? I guess itās time again that we will come round to accept things need to move on. At the moment I donāt see anything moving and Iām sure you feel the same.
We also stayed after everyone had left to say our goodbyes privately.
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My husband is very keen to get things moving and sorted out quickly, but I would prefer to take my time.
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Iāve never heard of this x
Try and talk to your husband , Iād feel the same . Itās where your beautiful son lived and somewhere you could go to feel close to him x
My brother died on Christmas eve 2023 his flat and belongings havenāt been touched. Our family had a get together there before Christmas and it was lovely. Little did I know that when me brother died eight months later Iād lose my son.
We also lost my beautiful niece to suicide in 20022. Weāve had a rotten few years. It makes me think whoās next?x
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Oh so sorry for your lossesā¦ no one will be next . Sending you hugs. I donāt want to see my ex at all. I will put up with him but no eye contact.
Iām thinking of doing a speech not sure if I can but Iām going to try. Did any of you ladies speak at the funeral?
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We had a humanist who came to my house and we talked about my son and he took what weād said and put a nice talk together that he read at the funeral. There will be no problem with you doing a speech just let the undertaker know thatās what you want to do x
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We had a mainly non religious ceremony. Simonās friends wrote a tribute as did I. We had some poems, including a lovely one written by my daughter. The music was a complete mix of styles - pop, rap, country and classical, but it was all to be listened to. We didnāt have anything for people to sing. The lady celebrant read everything for us. We couldnāt imagine being able to read anything out loud ourselves. You are very brave to try and do so, but it is probably a good idea to have someone else who could take over if you get overwhelmed.
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I wanted to speak but knew deep down that I probably couldnāt get through it, so I wrote Benās story and my youngest son read it for me.
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We also had a celebrant who could step in if needed.
She did a brief introductory speech which Iād also written, then my words read by my youngest son, a poem written and read out by my second son, a tribute from Benās school friend, 4 pieces of music, ( one chosen by Benās son ), and the celebrant then read the committal words at the end.
Perhaps have someone who can read for you if you need them to.
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Thank you ladiesā¦ Iām going to try and then my future daughter in law will take over. I need to do this for my boy so no regrets after from me. Iām going to see him at the chapel tomorrow and Iām so nervous and scared.
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Donāt be scared. He is still your lovely son.
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Heās still your boy x
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Iāve put in my head itās just a body and my son left me on the 20th Dec. Hoping that will make it easier for me like 1%. The postmortem probably hasnāt helped as he will be prodded on several places
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My son had a postmortem and the funeral directors were great and advised on what would be best for him to be dressed in. Xx
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Ben also had a p-m but you couldnāt tell.
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The funeral director has dressed him and I will put his socks on. Iām hoping I can hug himā¦ but I know itās not him. Just to hold his hands. And tell him how much I love him and will miss him until I take my last breathe
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