Reena, I am thinking of you today x
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Hello, ladies. You have some lovely ideas for the ashes of your beloved children. Iām wondering how long you had to wait to receive the ashes from the crematorium?
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How are you all feeling today? Itās very grey snd gloomy here, and I am in a matching mood. I find I sleep for a few hours at night and then wake in the early hours crying. It really doesnāt get any easier, does it.
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My son was cremated and the 16th of September and the funeral director rang me on the 18th to pick them up. The 18th is my birthday, I got my beautiful boy back on my birthday x
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So sad, a birthday present you never wanted to receive. That seems quite quick with the ashes. I suppose we will hear something soon.
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Benās ashes were back about 10 days after.
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Struggled to get up today.
Grey here too.
Going to tackle some of Benās possessions.
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Iām going to see Akhil body again today. Then tomorrow morning he will come home before the Crem. Everyday I wake up thinking this is all a nightmare. The pain in my heart is intense. I was said I didnāt have a heart as I could never hear it. Now itās loud and clear.
I hope your day is a good one and itās ok to cry. I cry randomly and it helps me.
Love to you all xx
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ReenaH
I have chosen what I think my Lauren would want done with her ashes. She was not religious and nor are the family particularly. You choose what your boy would have wanted and what you are happy with.
Lauren never discussed what she wanted to happen in the event of her death. She was too young to be thinking about her death at 41, her grandma who Lauren adored lived till she was 91 and great grandma was 87. I have survived cancer and am now 64. We joked that we were strong women who always outlived the men.
I miss her so very very much .
Itās not fair
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Itās all terrible, but the next two days are going to be especially hard. I shall be thinking of you.
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It is similar in my family. Mum was 94 and my Dadās mother lived to 103. Thirty three is too young. Thereās no way Simon would have even thought about making a will.
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Thank you all for your kind words. Akhil was 25 just. Iām 48. I canāt cope with this at all. Not because of my age but the fact of how close I was with him. Hate to say this but I was closer to Akhil than my older son who is just 27. I love both kids so much. But younger ones have that extra bit. Xx
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I was quite positive about sorting some things today, until I found Benās glasses - he only wore them when using a screen.
That was it.
Flood gates opened. Sobbing.
Iāve left now - couldnāt do anything more.
To clarify all of Benās things are in our house which is having work done. Weāre living with my youngest son. This is great but Iāve found it doubly hard not having my own things about, like a comfort thing. Most of our belongings are in storage. And I have no memories of Ben in the new place either as we havenāt lived there yet.
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I was the same when I found my sonās glasses. They are such a personal item. I have kept them along with all the smaller items like his wallet, driving licence and lock of hair in a box next to my bed. Sometimes Iāll open the box and have a look, but mostly itās too upsetting. All I can do is send you virtual hugs and say I understand how you are feeling.
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I really donāt know how i can deal with tomorrow all seems like too real and final. Iām so down right now that I donāt know what to do. I just want my baby back
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You will get through it. There will be lots of kind people there to support you. I didnāt think we would manage last Friday, but somehow we did. Iāll be thinking of you and I am sure the other ladies in this discussion group will be as well.
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Yes weāll all be thinking of you x
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You will get through it, we will all be thinking of you x
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Thank you so much ladies Iām so glad I have you even though under these circumstances xx sending hugs and lots of love xx
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ReenaH
Sending you love, hugs and strength for tomorrow.
It is not the end, itās just a step on our journey of grieving which shows the depth of your love for your son.
Xxx
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