My son died aged 33

I am so glad the service went well and that lots of people were there to give support. Well done for speaking. It took a lot of courage to do that. I can’t say that anything gets any easier from now on - it’s nearly a week since our boy’s funeral and I still cry all the time - but we found it comforting to know that there were lots of friends, family and work mates who all really cared and who took the trouble to come from some distance to be with us on the day. I hope, like us, you will feel it is a day to look back on with a certain amount of pride, when you think about all the lovely things that people said about your son.

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I always thought my life was about bringing up my children to be the best they could, so that they could then make the world a better place. That is now all turned upside down by the death of my son. I hope he did do some good in his short life - in fact I know he did - but he could have done so much more. I would love to think I will meet my son and all my loved ones again one day. I can’t imagine how it would work, but the universe is an infinite place and science really doesn’t have a fraction of the answers, so I live in hope.

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What a lovely boy, you must be so proud . I’m glad everything went well. Sending you and everyone else lots of love xxx

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Be proud of yourself - there was obviously a lot of love and support for you and Akhil.

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A lady on another post explained what she believed about what happens after death.

She said if aliens came to earth and saw a TV they would believe the TV was making the images by itself. When in fact they are being transmitted to the TV from somewhere else.

She said that the same applies to us , when we die everything we are leaves the body that has housed us and we go on in another form as in a collective energy and she believed we’d be with our loved ones again.

It gives me comfort x

I really hope this is true x

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She’d actually researched this theory extensively.

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Yes he certainly made me proud. Hope you ladies had a better day than yesterday xx

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I’ve had a horrible day of crying , I walked up the coast with my dogs probably around 9 miles and I hated every second . I just don’t enjoy anything at the minute x

I’m so glad your lovely son got a good send off, sending you a big hug x

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I went to the cemetery today, wandered around, am meeting a lady from the town council there next week as I want to know a few things. My in laws are both there and I would like Ben near them if possible.
I met a friend afterwards and I was happy that she asked me lots of questions about my feelings, how I’m coping, and we talked about Ben a lot. I think some friends are scared to ask me in case I break down or something. I told her I’d been talking to other mums online and that it was helpful to know others are feeling and thinking similar things.

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Oh no poor you… you should have screamed your son name out… that may have helped a little. Sending you a huge hug.
Thank you xx

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Thought I was ‘ok’ today.
Walked into the room where Ben’s things are and that was it :cry::cry:

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So sorry to hear this. I had a phone assessment with a counsellor today, first time I’ve ever done such thing. She was very nice and was just taking down details, but afterwards I was in floods of tears. I can’t imagine this crying ever ending. I so want my son back. I know it’s silly and he has gone, but I still keeping thinking there must be a way. Sending hugs. x

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I hope everyone is coping today. Just wanted to ask if any of you have had counselling, either online, phone or face to face, and whether it was helpful or made matters more distressing.

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Bad day today :cry::cry:
10 weeks since Ben was found and I got the earth shattering call …
Not tried any counselling, sorry.

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I’m so sorry. There is nothing anyone can say that will make this any better. Xxxx

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I am in my fifth or so week of counselling. It helps me realise that what I’m going through is the way grief is. She told me to stop rushing things such as trying to get back to ‘normal’. I’m lucky that I gelled with my counsellor straight away. Sometimes you have to find the right one for you and not everyone finds it works for them.
Today has been a bad day and for the first time ever I could not get out of bed this morning, I just lay and dozed and cried and dreamt. 3pm before I got up.
My daughter’s ex partner, father to the 9 year old granddaughter who lives with him is making things difficult by controlling when we can and can’t see her. I have had bad thoughts about him and just want to mourn my daughter in peace.

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So on top of everything else, your son in law is making the situation even worse. Very sad and difficult for you. It’s good that you have found a counsellor who is on your wavelength and can help you make sense of this bleak road in our lives that none of us expected to be walking.

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Hello Ladies … sorry to hear you are having a terrible day. It all seems so raw right?
We did some final rituals today for Akhil Soul. It was lovely but hard and painful. Akhil friend popped over to say hi and then I served him some dinner which was lovely. Then we sat on Akhil bed and I cried. So did he. Such a sweet boy.
I don’t think I’ll get counselling as it’s not for me. I’m glad you find it useful and also to off load what’s on your mind without being judged.
Next steps waiting on ashes. It’s all too much.
I did have a blow of wind on my neck when we were doing the rituals today for sure that was my boy.
So gutted and sad that he is not here. Broken . Sending you lots of love and hugs xx

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Ali, I read that post on here you mentioned, and I totally believe what the lady said, made perfect sense, and it was a comfort to me too x

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I really believe it our energy that makes us who we are doesn’t just vanish x

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