Thinking of you x
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Thinking of you. Itās my dad birthday today. He passed in September. Lots of memories xx
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I hate my life now and at times I feel like itās not worth living. I feel lost without my son and incredibly lonely. Iād trade places with him in a heartbeat. I just desperately need to see him today and everyday this existence at the minute is crippling me x
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Oh lovely same here. Have you tried talking to him out loud ? It helps me sometimesā¦ itās really hard to keep going on and thinking what he would have done now and what we would be talking about etc xx sending you hugs xx
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That gut wrenching need to have your son back and to be able to hold him close is unbearable. I donāt have any words of wisdom, but just know that I understand your pain. X
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So sad to read this my daughter had said she felt a bit fluey a few days before I did say to call doc if it didnāt shift by Monday. Then I got the call on Sunday morning as you said at that age they think theyāre invincible
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So sorry for your loss xx itās just all so painful. Sending you hugs and lots of love.
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Thank you so muchā¤ļø
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Is everyone getting support from their partners? I know that people grieve in different ways, and my husband probably grieves in private. However towards me, he is not very supportive at all. He seems really irritated when I cry and often leaves the room. I canāt properly discuss with him how I feel, or indeed how he feels. It will be 8 weeks tomorrow and thereās no way I can move on at the moment, even if he can. Sorry if I have mentioned this in a previous post, but it is really getting to me. I honestly derive more support from friends and other members of the family - and indeed from you lovely empathetic people - than I do from him.
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I live alone but feel like I donāt get support from the people I thought I would. Iām really close to my sister and she was a great help with organizing the funeral but then afterwards I didnāt see her for three months. She just left me to it when I desperately needed her. I know she was grieving but Iād lost my son and sitting on my own day in day out with maybe 4 hours of company a week from other relatives wasnāt enough. Itās took a terrible toll on my mental health x
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People really donāt understand, do they, unless it has happened to them. Can you try telling your sister how you are feeling or is that tricky?
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It would be tricky. I just donāt understand it ,up until the funeral I was in shock, numb couldnāt, eat, sleep I was like a zombie just going through the motions . Then when my daughter had to go to her own house that she had just bought bless her I was just left on my own. Itās made such a terrible event so much worse x
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Do you have plenty of communication with your daughter? My daughter is good at replying to my texts (even though I keep forgetting she is working and interrupt her during the day). She is going to come and see us the weekend after this one. Could you arrange to text or phone your daughter regularly? Is she near enough to visit you ?
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I do stay in contact with my daughter and Iām seeing her at the weekend . X
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Well, that is good. We are seeing close relations on Saturday so that will be nice, although Iām not sure I will be very good company. But just to hear other people talking about other things can be therapautic.
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So sad to read this. Do you know what happened yet? X
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I have had several people say call round and chat but I never do and am spending a lot of time on my own procrastinating and generally wasting time. January is a miserable month at the best of times. I donāt think time is going to be the great healer people tell me it is and I think Iām going to have to accept that part of me has gone with my son and isnāt coming back. We all seem to have identical thoughts and fears but expressing them and understanding my thoughts in a positive way is very difficult. Like several people have already said I would swap places with my son tomorrow, I know this canāt happen but it still goes round in my head several times a day. Iāve kind of lost what I was trying to say with this post but that seems quite a regular thing for me now. I find it easier to put things on here than it is speaking to close friends and family. It helps reading all your posts on here as some of you put things in writing so much better than I can and I understand what you are saying. Almost a year has gone by but I certainly havenāt moved very far forward and when I have a good day I feel very selfish. Love and hugs to you all x
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Mornings are the worst for me tearful for a bit then just try and keep my mind occupied. Yesterday was bad I felt angry/sad at the same time
I have stomach problems and neither my ex husband or son did a thing to help with the funeral arrangements. Iām so sorry that sounds bitter & selfish. I need to forget their lack of support.
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One of my friends, who had suffered a bereavement a few years back, said she felt it was as if she had to go into hibernation for 3 months before she felt she could face the world again. You shouldnāt feel guilty about wasting time or even about enjoying the occasional day.
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I know what you mean about having a good day - thereās a sense of guilt for me.
Yesterday I went out for a bit with my best friend and it was ok, but then I feel bad for not crying, I know itās because I was being distracted and I know Iām allowed to have times where itās like a ānormalā day before Ben died, but it doesnāt feel right.
I struggle to speak to my partner and other adult children without breaking down. I canāt say what I want to.
I have been writing down thoughts etc when Iām in the mood.
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