I only just about put my Will together . How do you ask your kids to do one when you do not expect them to go before you. How do you ask your kids for passwords to be noted before hand. Everything needs to be thought about for our other children here with us so that it is all noted. Heartbreaking all of it is.
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Woke up looking a real mess this morning. Yesterday I suspected an abcess was developing in my mouth and this morning my cheek and under my eye was swollen. On top of my usual haggard appearance, I looked dreadful. I now have antibiotics - plus a root canal treatment to look forward to in a few weeks. I think itās to do with getting run down over the last couple of months. Not that I care much about my health nowadays.
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I feel the same , I donāt care if I live or not. Sounds awful but itās true.
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I know exactly what you mean. I had breast cancer 14 years ago. Mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment. Lauren was with me every step of the way. Every year I panicked when Iāve had to have my mammogram on my remaining breast, but Lauren has been there to support me. I have got a mammogram on 19th February, day before my birthday. I am not worried because I donāt care. I know she would be livid with me for thinking this but I just want to be with Lauren. Iāve promised my hubby I will not take my own life but if nature takes its course thatās different.
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Motherās just need to be with their children and thatās why we feel this way. I have to keep going for my daughter but itās a big struggle x
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Oh ladies itās awful isnāt it feeling this way. Only if you could turn the clock back. I donāt have energy to even comb my hair!
Iāve tried all day to try and access my son phone. The Apple support team called me and tried but we canāt do anything with his email and phone number as he must have kept an old one and nothing is working! Iāll have to get a court order. Itās really frustrating and I feel so deflated that itās used up my energy.
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The frustration will exhaust you, it will be causing so much heartache and pain not being able to access it
X
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Hello, Reena. That must be so upsetting not being able to access your sonās phone. I am no expert, but I just wondered if in going abroad, the settings were changed in some way?
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Iām trying to keep going for my son and daughter in law and hubby, but I donāt think they need me. My hubby and daughter in law have both got busy careers and my son has closed down to me I think because he doesnāt want to hurt me more. His partner is very supportive to him.
We were lucky with Laurenās phone because even though she was very security conscious with her job, her hone and account passwords were all birthdates which we managed to get .
Would any of Akhils mates have known his passwords?
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I completely understand why you want to access Akhilās phone as I was the same with Benās, however it told me nothing.
I desperately wanted a clue of some kind.
The one thing I was pleased about was a selfie heād taken in October.
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Bam, I know itās difficult but you must make sure you go to the appointment.
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That was lucky with the birthdates. Iām thinking my sonās passwords might be a bit more difficult to guess.
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No they couldnāt access it neither. Just all too much for me
That is lucky Bam. No I asked them all no one knows. Maybe itās just not meant to be as Akhil was private. Itās just all too upsetting.
I have managed to pencil in scattering of his Ashes in Marchā¦ with the day I have had I get a burst of energy and then it all goes. Are you the same ?
I need to admin my Will as Akhil was in that too. Unbelievable all this. I feel now that Iām going backwards like you ladies were.
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Yes Reena, I can only do a couple of Ben related things in a week. Itās all too much, too emotional and draining.
I think Iāve done most of the paperwork, utilities etc but am now battling to get his pensions. Thereās so many forms and proof of everything needed.
Constant emails and letters. I can only do it for so long and I need a break.
Today I had to make myself get out of bed at 10 oāclock, I got up and went for a long walk. It was grey and miserable and matched my mood. I didnāt feel any different when I came back and have spent all afternoon under a blanket very tearful.
Hoping tomorrow is a better day for us all.
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I know what you mean xx sending you hugs. Itās all too much. I need to do a walk but just canāt do it.
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Iām lucky in that my husband has dealt with most of the paperwork. Finally today the trustees of my sonās pension and life assurance have recognised us as beneficiaries, but itās taken a long time. And I donāt want any of the money anyway. I feel guilty for taking what my son paid towards, when he was looking forward to a normal working life and a retirement at the end of it. I donāt want any of his money. It wonāt bring us any joy. I just want my son back.
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I wanted to do the paperwork, for Ben and for me. Feels like Iām doing something for him in a way. Fighting for what is his.
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How are you today, ladies? I woke up feeling rubbish as usual. Dragged myself out of bed with great effort at 10. My eye was puffy because of the abcess, so I looked like Iād been in a boxing match. Luckily the antibiotics are kicking in now. Iāve been very tearful all morning but in private. Just now my husband came into the kitchen as I was weeping, said āOh godā in exasperation and went out again. He is a difficult character at the best of times. I am getting absolutely no emotional support from him at all. He is just holding his feelings in check by keeping busy, working in his garage, cleaning the car etc. I really donāt understand how he can be like that. My whole day is spent thinking about my son and mourning his loss. Everything else that I have to do comes second to that, and tears are always just below the surface. As Iāve said before, thank goodness for this forum where we can let off some steam and get some sympathy.
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