Me too exactly… my dogs are the best therapists! Well done for getting out, it really helps doesnt it.
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I too have a dog, a Tibetan Terrier called Rupert. He has been quite unwell - my son would have been so worried. Hoping he’s turning the corner now.
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I think having pets in the home teaches children kindness and reponsibility. We’ve had all sorts of animals over the years. It can be hard work, especially when they get older, but it’s worth it.
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I admire all you ladies getting out for walks. It’s a beautiful sunny day here in Hertfordshire, but I have absolutely no desire to go anywhere. I’m trying to do bits and pieces around the house, but everything seems so meaningless really. All I want to do is sit and think.
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The sunshine makes me worse because Lauren isn’t here to enjoy it. My son persuaded me to go to a training session for a voluntary organisation this morning. I went, missed half of what was going on because I was just thinking about Lauren. Decided to walk home, but it meant going past where she used to have her office which is set in a beautiful park. I went in the park sat on a bench looking up at Laurens office window and wept buckets. I sat and quietly cursed the world including the sun for shining.
I miss my Lauren so much it physically hurts my chest.
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It’s not always something I want to do but I make myself go for a walk now. It is sunny here in Cambs too but very cold.
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I understand how you feel. Well done for at least getting out and trying to get involved with something new. You were brave to do that.
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Everywhere I go in this house and garden reminds me of Simon. It makes me cry, but it’s also why I would never move now, because all the memories are here.
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Yes it is hard isn’t it - photos, room still with their things in it - we will have to eventually move from our house as we have a large mortgage and neither of us feel we can work anymore. For now we carry on as best we can, I always find the evenings the hardest time of the day. Not sure why. xxxx
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We are retired and thankfully the house is ours. I really wanted to move about 10 years ago and kept looking at places online, but now I wouldn’t consider it. I imagine you don’t really want to move, so it will be difficult for you. Yes, evenings are difficult. Perhaps it’s because there is less to do then and that’s when the thinking starts.
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Hello Ladies … your dogs are lovely. Akhil and I were discussing dogs before he passed on what type we should get. I’m so scared of them. But I’m thinking about it now. As I feel so lonely without my son. Not that a dog would ever replace him but to share my love and pain with.
I think about walks on my own and then do not love from the sofa. Agree evenings are so hard.
Again the same things go around in my head why him and why so soon.
I was thinking of selling my house when Akhil was around and he said to me whatever makes you happy mum. Now I’m like you and can’t move his memories are all around me. My older son will move out eventually and I will see after that.
I was thinking for us whether we should do a Teams call (video) so we can talk online about anything we want to. What do you think? Only if you want to no pressure. Xx sending hugs xx
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Hello, Reena. Yes, it would be nice to chat together. How would it work though? Zoom? WhatsApp?
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Cats are great company too, if you don’t want the walking.
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Not sure about cats. I’d rather a dog . But it’s a huge commitment so need to think xx
Yes zoom can work
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I used to use Zoom for piano teaching from home during covid. Not sure I’d know how to set up all the equipment now. WhatsApp is good, but don’t know if it would work for groups.
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Yes might be nice - Zoom, Google Meet…
We thought about moving last year but like you I can not move from here. Even though this is not where Lauren lived for the past 16 years, she spent the first year after she had Isabelle living here. Lauren was always here popping in with washing or drying, here every evening crying before she split with her partner, here for free food Friday (takeaway night) and summer time bbq’s, or just bobbing in for a brew and catch up. Lauren and her brother used to argue (jokingly) about who would get this house if and when me and Andy died as she truly loved this house. I look into the garden and can see Lauren having a sneaky cigarette, I can see her getting excited because she has seen a hedgehog, or been the first to spot the frogspawn. Happy memories but I still cry.
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ReenaH I like the idea of a zoom/whatsapp call.
Getting a dog, do you have a local rescue dog place. The one near where I live are always looking for volunteers to walk their dogs. Good if you don’t want the commitment and cost of a dog. But allows you to get out and meet other dog walkers, get exercise and build your confidence with dogs.
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Hugs to you all
Does anyone else feel like they have aged decades in the time since their child died?
It’s 3 months for me, but I look in the mirror and appear to have aged at least 5 years. It’s not just appearance. But I shuffle like an old person and I can’t think straight anymore. I ache all over and am permanently tired, falling asleep in the chair. I sit staring into space. I wake up in a morning tired and have no energy.
If i am out walking my breathing is not good. I used to dig the garden now I can’t lift the spade. I used to do weights at the gym.
Said to hubby this morning I don’t want to be like this but can’t seem to shake myself out of this. He looks so miserable because he is trying to move on and is stuck with me. I know he has to because he goes to work and has a pressured job.
I have to start believing that there is something after this earthly life in the hope that I will get to be with my beautiful Lauren again.
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