Yes, I don’t have much energy any more or any enthusiasm for my old hobbies. Can’t be bothered with my appearance and wear dark clothes all the time. I woke earlier this morning and feel really jittery and sick. It’s like a panic attack and happens most mornings, so I dread waking up. A neighbour is supposed to be coming over for coffee late morning, but I don’t know if I can face seeing anyone.
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I wake with that sick feeling that then settles to a pain in my chest. For me it’s the realisation that it is true, it’s another day without my beautiful Lauren. Another day to get through without hearing her, seeing her, smelling her or touching her.
I’m waiting for my daughter in law to turn up. She is accompanying me for my mammogram even though I would rather go on my own at this stage because Lauren used to come with me and she can’t.
I will take her for lunch beforehand as a treat and thank you.
I’m scared as I’m convinced the cancer has returned jn my other breast and remember the awful sick feeling being told I had cancer, but I got through all the ops and the treatment with Lauren by my side. I won’t get through it without her. Half of me thinks i wouldn’t even try because it would mean i would be with Lauren. But then i feel guilty on my son and hubbie.
I just want to run away from me.
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Well done for going to the appointment, Bam. It really is better to go than not go. I am sure your daughter in law will support you. Let us know how you get on. X
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Sending my love Bam. And to you lovely ladies. It’s so difficult every day.
So I think zoom will be best. If you private message me I can then send invites to you. I think Whatapp only has limited amount of people that can join.
And then we can organise the date and time to suit you. Let me know by Friday if you are interested xx
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Bam I don’t think their is local volunteers for dog walking but I will check it out xx
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Hello, Reena. I am not sure if I have a camera on my computer. I will check it out and let you know. Thank you.
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I also have a laptop and can get Zoom pictures on that, so yes please, I would like to participate.
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Hi Reena
Please send me an invite too
Many thanks
Alison x
Thank you ladies for your email addresses. So when is a good time for you all? Shall we do this Friday afternoon? Or next week? Wednesday afternoon? Around 12 midday? Or later around 4pm? Give me some options and I can send the invite out tomorrow xx
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Wednesday noon is better for me but I can do Friday if needs be.
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This Wednesday at 12 would be good for me too. Reena, I have private mailed you my email address. I suggest people don’t put their email addresses on this forum, because anyone can read them.
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Let’s do next week Wednesday at noon. We can always change it if can’t make it xx
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Sounds good to me. I’ll look out for your invitation then.
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I look forward to meeting you all xxx
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I’ve had a sad day today , scattered my brother’s ashes along with the ashes of his beloved dog. He died Christmas eve 2023. I’ve had a rotten few years as my niece took her life in 2022 and she was on life support for five days. I honestly believe the ambulance crew only worked on her as her dad was there, she was beautiful and it was so tragic. Little did I know my beautiful Rupert would soon be following them . I can’t believe how cruel life is at times. It’s been none stop heartache for our family. 
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That’s incredibly sad for you. Life is so unfair. Xx
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It really is x
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My mother died aged 94 in 2020. She had a good life, but was ready to go. I never dreamt that my son would follow her 4 years later.
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So sorry to hear that Ali76. I hope it all went well as these go. Xx
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Both my parents had died by the time I was 25. I had Rupert when I was 27 and his sister at 30. I feel like I’ve been dealt a rotten deck. Rupert and Olivia are everything to me and him being gone is just plain rotten. There are some awful people on this planet who sail through life without a care. Life is so unfair x
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