I find it difficult to look at pictures of my beautiful son at times. He had such a lovely nature and I’ll miss him forever x
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Oh dearest Elizabeth… it’s ok to cry as it helps to get out the pain. Maybe videos was too early but then his memories are there with you. He was right there with you laughing and crying. Sending you lots of hugs xx I’ve cried most of today and then talking about my Akhil with my family helped. All so devastating
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Sorry to hear about your son. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers … I don’t see it getting easier but hope it will as trying to grieve and be there for the family especially my older son is hard.
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Thank you for your kind words, Ali76 and ReenaH. I just so want my Simon back. We all so desperately want our sons back.
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We will always want them a mother’s love her children is like no other x
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We certainly do and one day we will be together with them. Promise x that’s what is getting me through and the fact that this world is so crazy now. Our boys are safe and happy xx
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I say that exact thing to myself, nothing can hurt or harm him now and it gives me a little comfort x
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I am in Manchester. I feel so alone. I miss my daughter Lauren. I can not concentrate to do anything and can just sit losing hours wrapped in a fleece.
A friend said to me that the deeper the love you had the deeper the grief
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I think of my son every day. He was my best friend. His onset of mental illness was sudden and if it wasn’t for the internet, I do believe he would be here today. I believe he was encouraged and fed misinformation on the dark net. I will never know, but he was so loved and had so much going for him. I try so hard to believe in God as if I do I will see him one day. I do believe there was help for him if he wouldn’t have been so stubborn & proud. He is definitely in heaven. My heart goes out to all of you going through the same thing. God bless!
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How old was your son ?
Mine was 40, he definitely suffered with his mental health but was reluctant to attend counselling, even online.
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I agree with your friend as no love is like a mother’s love and that’s why we are suffering so much at our loss.
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So sorry for your loss. We are here for you to vent or just talk about anything. I’ve had very emotional day ringing banks and cancelling subscriptions. Just keep breaking down. Trying to be strong but can’t. Our boys and girls are by us and do not want us to be crying or upset… but it’s hard right x
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So sorry to hear about your son. We all need to pray for their good souls xx it’s very hard feels like the heart is broken forever and I keep screaming inside. The pain is unbearable.
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Having to cope with all the paperwork and dealing with police calls and the coroner’s office is absolutely exhausting. Thankfully my husband dealt with that side of things. But it’s the last thing you want to be doing when you are in shock and grief.
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Yes it’s hard when you have to do it on your own. My ex husband and my son didn’t talk for years. So organising everything with my sister and mum to make it perfect for my boy. Not sure where I’m getting the strength from as I keep crying. How are you today Elizabeth ?
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We had some close relations visiting us today, so that helped to take our mind off things. But now they are gone, I am sitting under my fleece again and all the distressing thoughts are returning. How are you doing?
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I agree - something I’d never thought of. All the emotions and then you have to contact banks etc and upload the interim death certificate and explain things - at the very height of the situation and feelings.
I must admit that 8 wks on I’ve done the initial contacts and have put the paperwork folder away until I’m ready again.
One thing I’ve discovered is if your children have any pensions you can only claim them within 2 yrs of death, so even if it’s a small amount consider doing it. I’ve found 4 different ones which I’m chasing for Ben’s son, who’s only 8.
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Oh that must have been comforting for you and busy to keep your mind distracted for a while? I’ve said no to family to visit all is too raw and too soon. I hate the questions of what happened and why did he travel on his own!! It’s driving me mad. Woke up early and cried and have done so most of the day. Not got off the sofa much wrapped in a blanket. So not really a good day. How are you feeling now?
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I admire the faith you have, I am not religious and find it hard to accept what has happened and when people say you will see them again. The logical part of me says how is that possible ? Yet I want to believe that I will and that other family members are now looking after Ben. I even visited my grandma’s grave and asked her to look out for him, then I felt like a fraud as I don’t pray or have strong beliefs.
My in laws were Catholic and had great faith.
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I feel the internet is a mixed blessing. I think the online world can be an addictive and harmful place and it’s very sad to hear that your son’s mental health was affected. In the case of my son, he always spent a lot of time online and I do wonder if he’d got out more into the real world and exercised more, whether his physical health would have been better. On the other hand, he got such a lot of joy out of his gaming and livestreaming and when I watch the videos (which we have only just discovered because we had no idea he was doing this) he is so obviously in his element and doing something he really loved. So I take some comfort from that.
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