Absolutely i would too 
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Every mum would give her life for her child without a doubt. The pain of being a grieving mum is too much.
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I used to put my hand on Georgeās head and wish the tumour into mine. I said to him once I would rather have it than him, he said āwell you canāt can youā. Xxxxx
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Iām so sorry.
You mention a persistent cough. Was it productive (did he cough up something like phlegm)? My dad did, mainly when he had been doing physical activity, and when lying down in bed at night. It was his heart being innefective at pumping blood around the body, so the blood cells were backflowing into the lungs and he was coughing them up.
It persisted for 6 or 7 years, worst during the cold winter months. The GP surgery was useless. They were like āItās asthma. Itās COPD. Itās allergies.ā It was none of those things. It was a blocked left anterior descending artery - the worst artery to have a blockage in, because it supplies the heart.
So sorry 
.
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I have cried on and off all day and feel terrible, I feel like I donāt want to go on without him.
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I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. In my sonās case, I think he had a non productive cough. However I do think there might have been an undiagnosed heart problem, possibly valves, although this was not identified in the post mortem.
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Ali76 like you today has been a terrible day. Crying on and off all day. I miss my Lauren so much and want to be with her. I donāt know how I can live without her. We spoke every day 3 or 4 times and I saw her 3 or 4 times a week minimum, usually every day.
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Iāve deliberately kept myself really busy this afternoon and evening, working on a sewing project (Scrappy Hendricks Hare). Now sitting in bed and decided once again to watch on my phone the slideshow of my sonās life. It was shown at his funeral. Now in floods of tears. I shouldnāt have watched it but I just have to, to keep him near me. It was 13 weeks ago yesterday that he left us and I donāt want him to slip away from me. I miss you so much, Simon.
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Hi - I try to not do that sort of thing late at night. Doesnāt always work. Hopefully you can get some sleep. X
Thank you. Iāve calmed down a little now. I hope you manage to get some sleep as well. See you on Wednesday. X
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It isnāt the evenings that are bad for me it is the mornings. As soon as I open my eyes, the panic starts. My Lauren isnāt here. I have an immediate urge to get dressed and to run to her and save her. But then I realise itās too late and the tears start and I am saying over and over āoh Lauren, no please no.ā
I donāt know how I can continue without her. I love my husband and my son and daughter in law but canāt see the point in anything anymore.
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I know how you feel. I have just got up, having laid in bed for an hour feeling panicky. It is a beautiful day outside, but so what? My son will never see sunshine again. I am in my dressing gown and I shall have to get dressed at some point. But itās all such an effort.
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Morning ladies sending huge hugs and loveā¦ I feel exactly the same. Inside Iām screaming for my boy and I front of all I appear ok. Itās very hard.
Iām going to send out the call invites later today for Wednesday. If anyone new wants to join please private message me your email address so you can be added.
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Having kept myself very busy yesterday, I started crying late evening and cried for hours in bed. Have woken up to a beautiful morning, which I wish my Simon could have seen, and am now crying again. There is no joy in living. I might as well be sitting in a prison cell for all the joy that life brings. Simon should be here and I need him here. I am sad, angry and baffled as to why this has happened to us.
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The mornings absolutely crucify me. As soon as I open my eyes everything comes flooding back x
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Morning,
So sorry. I feel I too am having a āset backā with reality hitting as we approach what would have been my sonās 29th birthday on the 14th March. Donāt sleep well and feel rubbish in the morning, achy all over. Apparently my kidney function is not good and I wonder if it is as a result of all the medication I have been taking. Will have to stop drinking as much wine too!
It is a beautiful day and I am glad to have the cemetery close by if I feel the need to go.
Need to mentally focus on my other son and rest of our family. (But atm still in bed with cup of tea and listening to Alexa/radio 4 Sherlock Holmes - not sure whatās going on 
).
Please all - try and have an okay day - focus on yourself a bit. Xxxxxx
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Days like this Iād go for day long walks with Rupert. Weād walk and talk and put the world to rights. They were the best days of my life.
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Today witn the sunshine my son would be in his garden. His youngest is having pre-school vaccination and he would have taken him. Its 11 weeks tomorrow and last few days i feel ive gone backwards in this grief process. Missing my son, my best friend, my world more every day. I dont want this life i have now without my precious boy
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I am having a few worse days, brought on I think by knowing his cause of death.
I spent the weekend feeling shocked, sad, numb - almost like when we first lost Ben.
Today I have written a letter of complaint to our NHS trust. It may not get me anywhere but I feel better for complaining on Benās behalf.
Iāve also made the appt to register his death now that I have a Notice of Discontinuation from the coroner. Each of these things makes me cry again, another reminder that heās dead.
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We all seem to be down and worse than we were. Counsellor reckons itās reality kicking in. I just miss my Lauren more every day. I have just been to library to drop off 18 of Laurenās bras at the bra bank for breast cancer charity. It was okay doing that. As I know she supported breast cancer charities and would be happy to donate them. What broke me was daughters walking with their mums into the library for afternoon teas. That should be me and Lauren. I am jealous. Every thing I do reminds me of Lauren,
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