I had bereavement counselling from Cruse after my Mam died in 2024, mainly because her peaceful passing brought back unresolved memories of the very difficult experience I had when my Dad died four years previous. It really helped and so I’ve already decided to contact them again to go on their waiting list. I suppose I’m looking for a quick fix to take away the pain I’m feeling straightaway. The rational part of me knows this isn’t possible - or healthy - but the emotional part that is missing Mark with every single bit of me just wants to hide away until the storm has passed.
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I’m actually managing to sleep quite well. It takes me a long time to fall asleep and I always wake up at least once and then can’t get back to sleep straightaway, but it’s as if my body knows I need it to get through the next day. We have two cats who are normally on the bed next to me and that’s a big comfort.
It will be hard for you to be back at work. I wish you well with it. I’m not working at the moment and am grateful that’s a worry I don’t have. I do need to try and get some structure back in my life at some point soon though.
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I am glad to hear that the bereavement counselling helped you . I am hoping that it will help me . When I finally get it . I don’t need to worry about work as I am retried. It’s hard to go from going from a couple to being on your own. It’s going to take me a long time to get used to it .
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I had six appointments and after one of them, I suddenly walked out feeling lighter and it had really helped without me knowing how. It just did. That was a very different situation to the one we’re in now though. But hopefully it will help when you finally do get to go.
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I will let you know
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I would like to go get some counselling
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Thank you so much for taking time to message. Yes you are the heartache & pain is truly unexplainable. And nobody can understand until they have lost a partner. Some friends are just trying to be kind but get yourself back to work you need some normality!! I could scream there is nothing normal about my life .. I have lost my everything. My world has be blown to bits
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Thinking of those returning to work today. Remember we will still be here for you - in your breaks, lunchtime, when you get home.
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Thinking of you this morning Eddie x
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I never went back to work, my work were kind enough to give me extended leave & then Covid hit so because I had no room to work at home so was furloughed. I had planned early retirement as we were supposed to relocate to Spain, we’d downsized to a lock up & leave flat & our adventures awaited in our Spanish apartment. How your future can be smashed to pieces & your heart shattered in a few days is hard to comprehend. As you say there is no normality, our life as it was ended, people who haven’t been through it can’t ever understand. Take care 
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Hope all gose well for all returning to work today
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You are so right all plans gone
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Hope all goes well for those returning to work.
Will be thinking of everyone.
Take care.
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It might be worth well you seeing what is coinciding is available in your area . Cruise is nationwide , there is no one there to answer the phone . You leave a message with your details and they ring you back
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Hi everyone. So ive just got back in from work. Everyone as you can imagine were asking me how I am. The more they asked the worse it became. I started going over old texts and messages again. I set off from work and was absolutely dreading coming back to an empty house. When I got in I shouted “Im home Gill” as she would often be upstairs. I broke down the moment I got in. I know all this is normal but I don’t feel in a good place at all if anything like you HelRen things seem to be getting worse
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Sorry you’re had a tough day , it’s hard when people ask you how you’re are . I hope it’s better for you tomorrow
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Hello EddieN
First of all I must say well done for getting to work. That is such an achievement!
You’ve endured Christmas and the New Year and now returned to work.
Sadly / Luckily, I can’t decide which, I’m retired so don’t have the trauma of having to go to work. But I also don’t have the distraction or framework in my life that work would provide. I must admit that looking out onto the frozen landscape this morning, having to scrape ice off the car was not at the top of my want to do list!
I’m a year on from losing my wife and I know the feeling of coming back to an empty house. I too call out to my wife when I get home as I’m sure thousands like us also do.
Going back to work is another first step, I’m sure it will get easier.
Look after yourself.
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Thank you Rjay, always appreciate your words
Thank you Sherbet
Oh Eddie, I presume this feeling three weeks in for us both is reality starting to sink in more. Although, I think we also both agree that this can’t possibly have happened and we will wake up at some point and it will all be just a horrible dream.
You did well to get there today, so keeping reminding yourself that 
I’m sure people will soon stop asking how you are and that will be another hard thing to go through. I don’t know what my future holds in the slightest, but I don’t think I mind that too much at the moment. What I think must be really difficult is going back to work and resuming your ‘normal’ routine when nothing about your life is normal anymore. Take it slowly and don’t push yourself any harder than you are comfortable with. Work is work, but your health is your health x
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