Thank you HelRen and you are absolutely right about health been health. If I can break this cycle of darkness, that probably sounds bit dramatic, then I can start looking after myself. Im worried about the funeral now. Not the funeral itself but when its over its like its all done and dusted and Gill was just a part of my life. I can’t bare the thought of that either. Think there is probably no hope for me lol x
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There is hope for you. Gill would want there to be hope. And she will always be part of who you are. Time won’t change that.
And if you can’t use dramatic words now, when can you! It’s a pretty blooming dramatic situation.
Take care Eddie x
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Huge step today Eddie. Going back to our previous routine is v hard and hurts so much. Getting through the door and seeing people is the hardest, and next time may not be quite so hard.
Feeling it is getting worse is something can so relate to…. For me it is 2 months today. The numbness has gone but feeling shaky, scared, crying buckets, loneliness, sadness….. Words can’t say how bad it is…
Like you I say things to Mick that are almost muscle memory - ‘see you in a bit’ when I go out, ‘cup of tea’ in the evening…. And ofcourse there is no reply except loud silence….
But we are still here, supporting each other, trying to make sense of our new world. So no matter how bad we feel, I guess Gill, Mick, Mark and everyone else’s partners will be proud of us, and giving us whatever encouragement they can
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I have found work to be the best distraction .people in work are quite distant too so didnt know my colin.
Although they csre about me there isnt the same closeness as friends who new and miss him too .
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You are spot on with ‘words cant say how bad it is ‘
Im coming upto my husband first anniversay on 17th jan .
Thats what im going to say to people xx
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Thank JAH im hoping as work continues it will actually help. Could have had more time off but I think the routine will be good for me
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Thank Bear, as ive mentioned on previous posts the things I do that I think must only be me we all do. That in itself is comforting
I only work part time but ive found routine helpful,.not sure i woykd get out of bed otherwise lol.
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I have started most things again as I was building them up as huge scary things. I knew if I put off doing them and seeing people it would just get harder and harder. They do provide some distraction but I often still come home and cry. But for me getting routine in place is important
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Ye know exactly what you mean lol
Well done Eddie, you did it and Gill would be really proud of you.
It’s Weds for me, and yes I’ll be calling Ray’s name out when I come in the door, as I always do. That’s the bit I’m dreading as he was always home before me with the house nice and warm…
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I have just returned from taking tables at my local library . I was apprehensive about going , but knew it was something I had to do . I already knew 3 people there which helped Everybody was really friendly. I met a lady who on 1year anniversary of her husband passing away . Her advice to me was get some counselling, and get out and meet new people . She has told me about a support group she attends which has really helped her
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To both Eddie and Helen
You are both doing incredible well , I know we are all different . Three weeks in from losing my husband. I was hiding away in my house. Not wanting to see anyone or speak to anyone . Apart from my family .
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Eddie and Helen
Well done on getting out of the house. It is a huge step. I know how hard it must have been. Take care everyone on this awful journey Kate
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That so lovely, they will be proud of us. I was outside on a step ladder in a blizzard this morning trying to put up a tarpaulin to shield our ferrets’ enclosure from snow. That was after spending an age getting rid of a load of water that had collected in the bottom of our dishwasher and gone all over the kitchen floor. While all I wanted to do was cry, I kept calm(ish) and did think about Mark being able to see me getting on with things and feeling proud.
I don’t know about you, but I could have the numb feeling back again. It beats this raw pain that has replaced it x
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That’s really good to hear, I’m so pleased you went and that it was a positive experience. I do think that being around people who understand is the best thing. Talking isn’t for everybody, but I find it helps me x
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It definitely helped, I couldn’t have done it a few months ago , so I guess it’s a bit of progress . well done sorting the tarpaulin out . It couldn’t have been easy in the freezing weather
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Thank you Peg, il be thinking of you Wednesday
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Thank you Sherbet that means such a lot
Thank you Kate that’s so lovely to say
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