It definitely does, 100%. Like I say, I feel very fortunate for this. He feels close to our whole family. When I see him on the day, I know that there is a personal connection to me and to Mark 
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I can’t imagine how that feels. My heart hurts for you. I’m dreading Mark’s funeral next week, but I’m grateful for the opportunity for everyone to come together to remember him. It’s not about closure - what a stupid concept that is - but it does feel like a necessary part of the grieving process for me.
I’m sending you love and strength x
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I’ve only seen the online notice so far last night, it’s in the paper tonight and on Friday. It had been another stressful day, so by the time I looked at it, I was feeling quite numb. I think the printed version will hit me more.
It’s just all so horrible, isn’t it? I’m finding evenings so hard, like everyone else. I try to settle to put something on tv, but my mind is in turmoil. I keep telling myself that Mark’s poor brain is at peace now, but I’m just so very sad and angry that this has happened.
His funeral is a week today, January 15th. I will be glad when it’s over.
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I’m sure you will feel a bit better after speaking to the celebrant. Exhausted probably, but hopefully a bit better. Good luck x
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Your emotions will be all over the place. I understand what you mean about the holidays. I used to love my cottage holidays with my husband and dogs . I won’t be able to have them any more it’s very sad . You may feel slightly different about crufts in a few weeks as it’s not till March . You will have worked hard to get your dog ready for Crufts. Hope you have a better day today
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Although it’s going to be a strange when you see the celebrant. They will ask you what Gill was like . They have a wonderful way with words . And will guide you in what you want to say .hope it goes well for you
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Coming at 12 il let you know how it went thank you
Thank you
Well just had the celebrant here and to be fair he was lovely. Speaking of me and Gill and our lives together set me off totally. It’s quite in depth and I don’t think I was quite ready for it. However he was so professional and so thoughtful and guided us through the process. Feel utterly sad again now though. Funny how you can be slightly lifted but then in an instance your back at the beginning again.
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It’s a bit of roller coaster with emotions , I was like that when we did it for my husband’s funeral
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When something to do with the arrangements falls into place, I get a momentary buzz, like as if I’m organising a party or something. Then it hits me that, yes that’s good, but it doesn’t that fact that Mark has gone. It’s another over for you Eddie, so that is a positive at least, even if you feel worse at the moment. Take care x
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And now I’m in a massive dip. I’ve spent hours today going through hundreds of photographs to use next week and now my brain can’t comprehend at all how this has happened. We had the greatest life together and now it’s all gone. I don’t understand how you can have so much only a few years ago and now have nothing. It’s too much to take in.
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I really feel for you sorting funeral..we want it to be perfect.but try not to overthink it , set yourself a time to sort 1 thing at a time ..we found music the most difficult ..thinking of you x
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Do a little at a time , it’s emotional draining thinking of you
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It’s so difficult trying to comprehend how you got here. I remember Ray’s service and it was like I wasn’t really there. Less than 3 months ago, and I can’t remember a lot about it. It’s like I was in a kind of dream, looking at photos on a reel of our life together and wondering how it came to this. His sister did the eulogy and it was beautiful. Try to just focus on giving your Mark the best send off you can, he will be so proud of you and he’ll help you on the day. I felt that Ray helped me, I’m sure of it.
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Mick had been fairly clear on funeral plans, but it was still hard. Agreeing on photos with his daughters especially hard. But we got through it, and you will too. I didn’t try to speak at the funeral as I knew I would break down, but I wrote the words for the celebrant to read. Worked for me, but everyone will do it their own way x
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I was thinking just now, this forum feels like family to me now. It helps so much knowing you are all there, not judging just listening and understanding. Thank you
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My second day and I was quite wobbly I have to say. I got emotional a few times, left early and when I got in from work, I just fell apart. This new reality is so difficult to come to terms with. Can’t quite comprehend that the love of my life will never greet me again, ask about my day, make me laugh and care about what happens to me. Now I feel like noone gives a damn. Sorry for bringing the tone down, just going through a rough patch this evening.
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Sorry your day has been wobbly , it’s really hard adjusting to being on your own , after being a couple .I hope you have a better day tomorrow
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I have spent far too long with the photographs today. We have thousands and I don’t want to miss any that should be included. Even while I was looking, I knew I was being ridiculous, but I kept going through more and more anyway.
Choosing music was easier for me. None of the songs are remotely funeral type songs, but each is meaningful, so I’m happy with the choices.
It’s just all so emotionally exhausting, isn’t it?
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