Thank you so much for this. My wife always told me that I was the stronger, yet when it came down to it, her health issues would have made me curl up in a ball and not want life anymore. She shrugged it off and went into the kitchen to make dinner and sing very loudly to either Sting or Oasis. I could’nt understand how she could do this?
I have never lived alone and am finding the silence deafening. Forever walking into an empty room kills me. I cant play music that we both enjoyed so your idea of playing new music or listening to a different radio station is a piece of advice I will take to heart. Thankyou again, and to everyone here for always listening.
I just found a bag of things she’d been buying for me for our cruise, little things, flip flops etc. the things didnt cost the world, that didnt matter, she wanted to surprise me. Thats why I will always lover her … I love you Adina
Everything your feeling is completely normal my husband passed away very unexpectedly 8 weeks ago and i still feel the exact same feelings as you are. Im so so sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through my heart truly goes out to you what i can say is things around the house do get a tiny bit easier to deal with as time goes on x
Going through some more paperwork. Throwing away the info for the car I had to sell. Found paperwork for a few premium bonds. Something else to cancel and another erasure of him from the system. Actually found something filed where it should have been which was highly unusual. I still have the rest if the filing cabinet to get through.
@CliveH im sorry you find yourself on here. I lost my husband of 36 years suddenly in May he was 57. I now like you have to learn to live without our soulmates. Its heartbreaking i mean it physically hurts. It is very early days for you but three months down the line i dont feel any better…sorry but thats the truth. Its never going to be ok again all your plans you made together are ripped away and you feel a loneliness like never before. Please be kind to yourself and dont feel guilty for any thoughts you may have you are grieving as we all are on here. Take care sending love and strength
It’s 4 months for me and I’m still sorting stuff out. As my husband’s case had to go to coroner’s court i had an interim certificate lwhich they told me was fine. Thought everything was sorted now someone to do with pensions wants an original one. Had to sort that now. Seems never ending. I’m sure one day we will all get through this and joining this site will definitely help you. You’re not alone.
I am lucky enough to have a long term financial advisor who is handling all the pensions and a solicitor who is handling probate. Still there is a lot of paperwork. Only yesterday went through the file with most of the important stuff and threw a lot away.
So sorry you have joined this forum, I hope it helps in some way.
I lost my husband seven months ago and have just finished everything that needed to be done. Probate approval took 16 weeks and then I had to re-invest my husband’s accounts to my name which I found very distressing. Having no joint accounts is equally distressing, but I still look upon it as ‘ours’.
Hope all goes well with the legal ‘stuff’. So much to do.
Im so sorry for your loss and i honestly feel your pain. You are right you do feel alone even if you are surrounded by family or friends. Youve lost your person the one who knew you better than anyone. Its hard it really is. Nothing wrong with crying i cry everyday. Take care sending you love
So sorry for your loss, my Wife passed away 8 months ago, we were married for 37 years and the early days/weeks are unbearable, the only advice that I can give is take it one day at a time and try not to look to far ahead, also talk to family and friends and let them help with sorting out paperwork,finances, funeral etc, everyone on this site understands what you are going through at this moment ,and are to offer support, you are not alone
So sorry that you have suffered this terrible loss. Please keep posting on here, it really does help. You are not alone and we are all struggling. At three weeks I was exactly the same as you are. My only advice is just take it one hour at a time and to try to get some sleep, if you can. Sending you a big hug.
Hi your story is so like mine,2 years ago my wife died after a long flight with alcohol. She died after a terrible argument over her been drunk , which is devastating.I still can’t believe she’s gone .When she was sober she was amazing.i nearly turned down treatment for cancer,just to be with her again and make things right.in the end I took the treatment for our daughters sake I couldn’t let her lose both parents.So I have to plod on and it’s not easy.but your not alone best wishes
Sorry for your loss. I am not going to lie. It is going to be very hard over the next weeks with crying, brain fog and yet having to do all the practical things. I can only suggest making lists or you will get no sleep and be even more anxious. Take all the help and support you can. This is not a time for pride. Go with whatever feels right for you. There is no right or wrong just survival. 1 day at a time. Xx
@Bev23 I am in the same boat as you . My love was 58 and he died in may . It’s still hard to bear . Today I feel terrible again the longing for him is so overwhelming… I hope the future gets better for us all
My husband died in June 2 days before his 71st birthday. I am having a bad day today and am in floods of tears again. At least it is not every day now. I just would like to know when I am going to get a decent nights sleep again. At least my eating has been better the last couple of days with nice healthy salads. Had to feel sorry for the guy delivering my meds to be confronted with a mad woman in tears at the door. Try to get it together before my delivery from Amazon. Xx.
Clive, please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. Don,t worry about giving advice at this stage. You need this sight right now for support, which you will find in abundance here. I am ten weeks in from losing the love of my life. To start with, for the first couple of weeks I hardly had time to grieve because there was so much paperwork etc to contend with. My son helped me with most of that as I just couldn’t have handled it. Do you have someone who could help you? At this stage, I am finding that I don’t cry as much, but I am constantly giving myself little “talkings to” to keep myself going. The mornings are the worst for me as I don’t want to face the day, but have to rally myself to take my little dog for a walk. This helps me too, and have recently found a group of other widows that I can have a chat and coffee with. it takes my mind off my loss for a little while, which I find a bit strange, because although I need some respite from the overwhelming thoughts going round in my head, at the same time, I DO want to keep thinking about mt beloved husband. I usually feel better as the day goes on and I have a routine now of staying up watching TV until I feel myself nodding off and that’s when I go to bed. IT good to keep busy, but my advice would be; pace yourself. Also, if you are spiritual, do look out for ‘signs’ from your wife. Feathers, robins, butterflies etc, crossing your path. She may ‘visit’ you too. My husband briefly came and held my hand. As other have said, go with it, cry, rage, howl, whatever it takes. Sending hugs. x
Dawn6060. I’m so sorry for your loss. I sure all on here empathise with how you are feeling right now. I lost my husband 10 weeks ago, but it still seems like only yesterday. It really is the most horrible, horrible time. I feel less tear now, but finding the loneliness unbearable some days. Take care of yourself and do reach out for help . hugs x
@Jol im sorry for your loss it is all very overwhelming. I think also its the shock of it …he went out one evening and never came back. No goodbyes…no last i love you. Today has been a really tough one. After three months of waiting i finally have the coroners report as to his cause of death so i can finally register it but its so final my heads all over the place. Sending love xxx
what i can say is things around the house do get a tiny bit easier to deal with as time goes on x