@Bev23 thank you for your thoughts . It must have been so hard to wait so long for the coroner . It was about 10 days for me . The funeral was over three weeks after that so it was such a torture. I hope you have support as this is such a difficult time. My big hugs to you
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On the month after my husband died I spent over 700 mins in the phone as I exceeded my phone package limit. It feels as though the phone is permanently attached to your ear and you are saying the same sad thing over and over. Xx
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@Nicenursenic i know you just want it all to sort itself out because its the last thing we feel like doing. Im sure we all have many more teary days to come and if you are anything lke me he is on my mind constantly but thats what i want i dont not want to think of him. Its all so unfair sending lots of love 
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@Jol yes i have a supportive family and good friends but you still feel lonely dont you all you want is the one thing you cant 
take care big hugs xxx
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My husband’s case had to go to the coroner and their office sent me 3 interim certificates which are quite legal with the bank and such places. I’ve only just received the original one as only one pension office wouldn’t accept the interim one. I lost him in April and had to wait nearly 4 months for the inquest. It’s a nightmare going through this but hopefully things will sort themselves out one day. Just so overwhelming. Don’t rush anything. But the coroner’s office was really helpful and will guide you through. Take care.
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Clive. I lost my dear wife 18 months ago so I do know the devastation that you feel at the moment. Take one day at a time, try to eat properly and get out in the fresh air. It is the most difficult situation you will ever experience but you will survive. Lean on your family and friends and take help from counselling if you can. I still cry most days but that’s me.
Keep writing on here, you are never alone.
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I’m the same with the filing cabinet. My husband dealt with all of that. Sounds mad but going through it all i felt as though i was intruding. Still not finished. While shredding stuff my shredder broke. Just about finished me off that day.
Discovered he hoarded paper like he bulk bought food. Documents from 3 cars ago. We moved into this house in 2015. There are still all the searches. Insurance docs for things we don’t have any more. None of it filed in the labelled folder. We couldn’t share a desk. I file as I go. He put it all in a pile and it would be filed sometime. Reminds me how much I miss him. Xx.
It’s a minefield I have wasted money buying copies of for things I didn’t need because I didn’t understand what I had . I bought too many death certificates as I expected them to keep them . It’s all mainly done now so I am not as busy with that so I have more time to think and miss him even more
Same here, I found loads of stuff going back years, even old cheque book stubs. I spent ages shredding. xx
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I bought too many death certificates too. You feel you need a training course or a handbook but would anyone attend such training? All while you are grieving and you brain is not working at optimum.
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Can’t find the shredder. Think it must be in the garage. Tearing everything by hand and separating it.
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Oh Clive, I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband died just 8 weeks ago and the pain is still so raw but there have been moments to smile, even to laugh very occasionally.
I found that getting the practical stuff done in the early days was a huge relief, when you have people around to help. I used ‘Tell us Once’, a Government organisation who does most of the work for you, they inform all the Government offices, like DVLA, HMRC, council tax, passport office etc. It makes all that side of things so much easier, all done online. I hope that will help you.
They say time is a great healer, but I don’t think it is, time just papers over it all. It took me a while to even want to go out of my front door and see people, apart from those close to me.
So keep posting on here, we all know how painful it is and how much we all want our lives with our loved ones to start all over again, so we all understand.
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Clive what a terrible shock & obviously u r heartbroken & can not take in what has happened
We have all been through hell losing a loved 1.
There is always someone on here willing 2 talk so remember u r not alone with yr grief.
When i found this site after my husband died i found it a god send. Take care x
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Dee, I’m so grateful to read your point about “signs” from those we love. I thought I was going mad, or that it was just me. A robin continually visited our garden soon after the funeral, when we never used to see one. It came right up to the window and looked at me, till my heart felt like it was going to break. I was in the garden one evening, no birds or breeze around, when a white feather floated straight down in front of me, and landed at my feet. It really makes you stop in your tracks, and you freeze, wondering if it could be real, that your loved one is really near. I’m a scientist and never believed there is any basis for such events. But now, 6 months after losing the very person who made me who I am today… I picked up the feather and kept it visible in a glass jar, where I see it each day. Sometimes, we are meant to be comforted by any small thing which could let us know we are never alone. Sending you hugs, and I’m glad you are managing to meet up with other widows, and look after your little dog, after such a sad time.
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Hi Clive, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss and your pain. I am in a similar position and I recognise all of the absolutely horrendous things that you are experiencing. I lost my soulmate to a fatal accident in the home on the 13th of July this year, I know that desire to follow her into the after life, but I know how much pain that would cause my daughter and my dogs. I know that my partner would want me to carry on and she would be furious with me if I didn’t stay around to look after her much loved dogs. Do you have children or pets Clive? Like you I also believe in an afterlife, I am spiritual without being religious but I am positive that we have to complete our lessons in this life before we can be released. I would love to tell you that things get easier, maybe they do, but I know that the pains in my stomach and in my heart continue, but like you I am in early days yet. Sending much love to you Clive, please hold on in there, seek help from your GP, accept any counselling that is offered to you. xxx
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Sorry for your loss Clive. You will feel all the pain and thoughts for a long time. My love passed away may 2022,it is still very raw for me. Anything will set me crying and wish I was there with her. So your feelings are the same as we all have, no comfort really, just remember that all of us are here to support you. Just writing something here helps. Regards
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I was widowed when I was 51. I thought that my life was over and cried every day for months. Remember the good times and also that your wife would not like you to be so unhappy. Just take one day at a time. Try to do something positive every day. It is very hard but it does get easier with time
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I lost my husband 3weeks ago he was 54 i am 48 i am trying so hard to be strong but just feel so angry and robbed right now 
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@Cadge I am so sorry it is the worst time of your life . At 3 weeks you must still be in a deep shock state . It’s too early to lose our partners . There is nothing to say that can make it better . I had to get diazepam for a couple of weeks . It’s three months for me but I am sleeping now due to mitazipine . I hope it gets. easier for you . Take one hour at a time and be kind to yourself x
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