Jan44, those are very kind and comforting words. Thank you from me also. I am 54 and it does feel like life has ended after the loss of your soulmate. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m only 6 months in, and trying to do the things you say but yes - weekends are hardest. I hope life is treating you gently, as you rebuild a different path since you lost your partner. Take care.
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Cadge, no need to feel strong after such a sad loss. I feel for you. This is the hardest time of your life. Disbelief, shock, unable to think straight, unable to process anything. Just an hour at a time is a rollercoaster. Tears will come, let them. Thoughts of regret and guilt too - it’s normal, but very very hard. Then anger at the things you have been robbed of, the time that was cut short. Just accept these thoughts are what we are all having to go through. Forget strong. Punch a cushion with what you feel, go sit in the car and scream aloud. It’s justified anger. Your heart can only heal when it’s had its outlet of grief and pain, that your husband was taken too soon. Sending you comfort and support, in this most difficult of times. x
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@Cadge My heart goes out to you, I lost my Soulmate 4 weeks ago, I understand your feelings, please do not be hard on yourself, being strong is not important, just take life an hour or even mere seconds at a time, let your grief out in whatever form it comes to you. People tell me that “It gets easier”, I am not sure that I believe that, the best we can expect is that we learn to live day by day with that empty space in our soul. Love and strength 
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@Jan44 Bless you Jan, ours is a harder road to travel
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I find myself longing to leave this world to see my loved one too. I’m not sure how people cope with grief this massive. I wish I could help you more. You’re not alone. Thinking of you.
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It’s a month for me too. I have moments of feeling ok but then realise that it’s because I’m just waiting for him to come home. When the realisation hits that he is never coming back home I crumple. People think I’m doing well but it’s all just acting, pretending, which I do to make it easier for them. The pain is unbearable. I’m not a drinker but I am anaesthetising myself in the evenings with anything I can stomach. Last night the remains of a Jack Daniels Honey numbed the ache until I started thinking of the day we toured to JD distillery. It was always his favourite tipple, even though he drank very little, until illness required him to stop altogether. He tried so hard to look after his health. A bloody sarcoma got him, way before his time.
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We never had kids, but 2 dogs and cats. The last couple o days weren’t so bad, trying to keep busy even though thats the last thing II want to do. came across a small bag today that Adina bought herself with a few small pieces of costume jewellry inside, still with the price tags on - I stood there and sobbed, just kept saying outloud that I missed her so much and that I just want to be with her. My belief in an afterlife is strong, for my own reasons, but even though I’m convinced that I will see her again, the pain is still torture.
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Clive. I also strongly believe I will see him again. A love that strong can’t end with death. I have no religion but an inner belief that this can’t all be for nothing.
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Louise, I’m watching “Next Level Soul” on Youtube and its helping me
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Thats right, our 2 dogs are company but they dont take any of the pain. For the first few days after Adina died, the one dog wouldnt move away from the back door, waiting for her to come home.
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@Louise1951
I strongly hope we are together again with our partners, it’s the only thought that keeps me going at times. All this pain can’t surely have been for nothing. xx
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Thanks Clive,
I will look that up.
I also went to TED talks, for presentations on Grief and loss, I found 3 or 4 that were useful, but one in particular was a very similar story to mine, and whilst there was some comfort from it, I cried so much.
The enormity of sorrow is commensurate with the anormity of the love we have all lost, so the crying is good, although painful.
Thinking of you, as losing one’s partner is devastating, as I have recently experienced too.
Keep strong.
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It’s very reassuring to realise that these feeling we have are normal. It’s nearly 5 months since my husband died.I was only 16 when we met so can’t remember life without him.I thought I was prepared as he had been poorly but I realise now you can never know how you will feel. Most of the time I am ok as long as I keep busy and meet friends - but sometimes I just can’t stop crying! It hits me for no reason - and I really don’t like living alone - does anyone really?? Thanks for listening
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Hi. I lost my darling Bev 18 months ago. After 6 months I was offered one to one counselling with our local hospice organisation. After 6 months of fortnightly meetings I was encouraged to join their group for bereaved partners. We meet weekly and have a good chat and then a few of us go to the pub for a meal, the highlight of my week.I still cry daily for my lost love but it is helping.
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Hi, even after two years I don’t really know what I’m doing. I can say I’m no longer consumed by the pain of the loss. Time and friends with family and NHS counselling helped to put words to my feelings which in turn helps me to live a decent life. It’s the people we have around that need us. I try to be positive and helpful to them, also I talk to Steve about what’s going on and still hear his side of a descion that needs to be made, he’s still with me. Yours is with you too always.
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Oh i hope he is with me in some way. Its three months for me and i talk to him all the time and i know the kids do aswell. Its hit them hard aswell he was such a huge part of all our lives. It seems so quiet now and i feel vulnerable and i dont know why. We just miss him i still think im going to see him or hear him come in and throw his keys on the hall table 
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Jeff 1. I have my first counselling session at the Hospice tomorrow. I know they have a coffee meet and a weekly walk from the local bay so I am intending to join both of those.
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Hello Clive, I am so sorry at the loss of your wife , its nearly 9 months since I lost my husband, best friend , soul mate, the father of my children , grandad to their children and i still am struggling, some better days than others now .
I remember only too well those very early days , its hell, its torture, its surreal, you just cannot believe that this is happening to you.
I used to say ‘why me’ but then i would say ‘why not me’ there are millions suffering like me , like you are now, like we all are on here.
This is a great group, people all in the same horrible situation 
, but you will get a lot of support on here as the saying goes ‘we are all in the same boat’
Its very early days for you and it feels horrific ,i am not saying 'it gets better ’ but with the right support ( which i hope you have ) it will get a bit easier.
Dont look into the future , just take one day at a time , and get through that the best way you can . Sending love 
during this awful time for you.
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I have Bevs photos all around the house so I can talk to her in every room. Whilst not physically hearing her voice, she has guided me on many occasions in making decisions. Never been a religious man but I believe there is an afterlife or spirit world where we will meet again.
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My first meeting was exhausting, I spilled out all my innermost thoughts and anger but after a few sessions it seemed to calm me down and make me look forward. I hope it is as successful for you.
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