Last year we thought it would be me. I had fluid on my lung but they fixed me. He was always the healthier one. Playing bowls regularly. And my carer. I am having a really bad day today even though a friend is bringing me a lovely roast lamb dinner later on. Somehow it seems worse after my brother and sister in law visit yesterday. Thinking this is the last time I might see her. Xx
I’m so sorry, the hits just keep coming it seems. My tactless mother called yesterday saying that I just have to get the funeral out of the way then I can get on with life! I threw the bloody phone in the washing up bowl Amazon have just been unfortunately with a new one. Wayne is totally right, we’re not fine, we’re not strong, we’re broken and I can’t imagine ever mending.
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Some people have no idea. As though it is that easy. Put them in the ground and move on. They are lodged in our hearts and souls. It is not that easy a bind to break. I am amazed it just went in the washing up bowl. Did she not like your partner? When my sister in law dies I shall be devastated as well as my brother. Xx.
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No they got on fine, its just that my mother is 94, born in 1930, and is a completely different generation and can’t understand all of this “love and feelings” rubbish (her words)
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To all of you. I have survived just over 18 months since my darling Bev passed away. There are bad days and not so bad days. Occasionally I laugh but not as often as we did together, but! We have to carry on and make our partners proud.
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Well yr mother has never loved,
if she had she wouldent be so harsh.
Grief is absolutely hell.
& u snap back next time
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@Wayne2 sorry for your loss. My husband also had cancer and I’m struggling to remember anything other than his last few weeks of suffering.
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Wayne2 people said that to me too. But I just cant move on. I’m having the worst day ever. So, so down and sobbing. I keep thinking could I have done more for my husband when he was taken into hospital I really didnt realise he was so ill as he had been in and out of hospital so many times and got better. Did they do all they could for him, did they keep him out of pain. Questions I know I wont get an answer for. It’s nearly 10 weeks now and I dont know how to carry on with ‘normal’ life. I know I have to as he wouldnt have wanted me to be like this. How do we get through this awful time. I wish I knew. Sorry for carrying on.
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It is Groundhog Day. I would have like to have been with my husband but due to physical limitations I couldn’t. The last time I saw him was on the Sunday. He died early Tuesday morning. When I saw him his eyes were rolling in his head. He was yellow as the cancer had attacked his liver. He was in so much morphine he didn’t recognise me. I am ashamed to say I couldn’t take it. I got the nurses to make him more comfortable and then had to leave. It haunts me. We were going to try and get him home on the Tuesday he died but he deteriorated too rapidly. At least they could control the pain in hospital. I think i have been worse since the funeral. The realisation that this is the rest of my life.
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Sorry meant to reply to Wayne2.
I wish I knew. I am having a truly awful day too. I am just about the same stage as you. It’s hell isn’t it? Xx. Sandra
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It really is Sandra. Sending hugs to you. Ann xx
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At least I haven’t had anyone tell me to move on. My neighbour lost her husband 7 years ago. She just assures me it will get better and that I am coping as well as can be expected at this stage. She said at least I am not doing what she did. She would start drinking at 9a.m. Why resort to a depressant when you are depressed? I have too many physical challenges to further handicap myself with drink. Hugs back. Sandra
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Wayne2. I agree, the best way of getting through these awful times is to talk. I belong to a bereaved partners group run by our local hospice charity and we meet weekly and talk about our loved ones in a very informal manner. It’s good to speak with people in the same situation.
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Do you find you cry whenever you talk about her? I do when I talk about Norman.
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@Jeff.1 I wish there was something like this in my area. All that is available is 1 to 1 counselling. I feel talking to others have been through it is the best medicine.
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@Pudding I couldn’t talk about my husband at all without crying even with family. At 20 weeks it’s getting better. Can chat about him with my daughter without floods of tears. Maybe still a some damp eyes though.
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i lost my husband 4 weeks ago so i know excatly how you feel.x
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i feel the same
that’s all i’m waiting for to x