Morning everyone
Yes life goes on
Sometimes we can handle it and the whoosh that tide comes in and does it set you back
Encouraging to read at least we are all trying in our own way
But as I’ve said before for all of us it’s bloody hard
Thank you all for being there for me
Means the world
Xx
3 Likes
@charm - you ARE important. Please try and believe that. There will be many people who do believe that - can they all be wrong? And more importantly your husband believed it.
Try to focus his love for you into a bit of it for yourself. Begin to love yourself again and begin to think you deserve good things. I know you have lost the best you had but you still deserve to have other good things in your life so try and spoil yourself a bit.
Sending hugs xxx
That must have taken a lot of courage @Karetired and I can fully understand the pain of your husband not being next to you.
Sending hugs xxx
Thank you @KarenF I have been trying to make myself go to the work out club for weeks and weeks, only to say “maybe tomorrow”. We literally did everything together. When I had to put him in memory care for his Alzheimer’s, it killed me being separated from him. There was no way I could keep him safe at home. But things deteriorated to the point he was no longer walking so I brought him home with hospice. So he was home for 5 weeks before he died. We were together again. Sobbing as I write this.
Love and peace, Karen
2 Likes
In September last year i secretly planted a load of bulbs in the back garden. I imagined Mikes face when they started to grow. Today the 1st daffodil came out but hes not here to see it. Instead of bringing joy i just sat crying.
4 Likes
@JaneD I firmly believe he is looking at that beautiful daffodil and smiling, knowing you had a little secret. Feel his love around you. That can and will never change. His spirit lives on in your heart and soul.
Peace and love, Karen
3 Likes
Oh @JaneD that must have been so painful. I’m so sorry. They will be beautiful to look at when they all come through and I’m sure your darling husband will see them too xx.
1 Like
Jean8 & Karetired
Thank you. I just cant stop crying today. Ive just sat and done nothing.
@Karetired
You did amazingly to care for your husband for so long and to know when he needed the extra care as well. All such heart wrenching decisions but you did it all with total love.
Hugs xxx
1 Like
@JaneD
I, like the others, believe your husband is enjoying those daffodils but can completely understand why they are making you cry.
Hugs xxx
1 Like
Thank you @KarenF I am really struggling with the suffering he endured over the years. Such a smart man, all that taken away by the horrific disease. I have heard over and over again, “he is at peace now, not suffering anymore”. Of course I know that, but I am suffering, why is it that so hard to understand? Thank goodness for this site.
Karen
2 Likes
What can anyone say
Life’s just abitch Paul too loved daffodils
When he saw them he said spring is here
Sadly not any more
Paul’s birthday today
Life’s cruel!
Totally horrendously cruel
Xx
1 Like
Hi Bess1, sorry that your Paul is not here to celebrate his birthday with you. It’s so hard without them. I haven’t posted on here for a few weeks as I am finding life really hard. I can’t bear my life without my husband and it just seems to be getting worse not better. I’m sitting here now in floods of tears. I have been reading everyones posts and you all seem so supportive. I just don’t know what to do.X
3 Likes
Kind thoughts today. (And every day,)
G. X
1 Like
Totally agree with you - it is getting worse day by day. If I can’t have him I would rather stay indoors alone so I don’t see others leading ‘normal happy’ lives.
I watch tv or go to the green burial site and eat chocolate. I had such a lovely life even when there was illness there was hope - now just the same misery day after day and I have tried. Xx
1 Like
So true what you have said i find its getting a lot worse each day nothing any of my friends says helps i feel they do do understand the pain we go through when you loss your soulmate as they still have theirs i try to stay away from them as i can not cope with seeing them so happy
2 Likes
@Karetired Thank you for your kind words and I hope you can find some peace and solace in your grief. 
1 Like
I agree. Everyday starts the same, an overwhelming sense of emptiness and sadness. I am beginning to believe this is how it will be for the rest of my life. I have no words to express how much I miss my precious husband.
Peace and love, Karen
1 Like
Just found a voicemail from my husband which was lovely but has also shaken me to the core. It is wonderful that I can hear his voice and he tells me he loves me which we told other all the time every day , in most conversations for over 25 years.
I can listen to it but it has torn me apart at the same time. The horror of all our situations just goes on day after day. If only we could all wake up and find that it was all a terrible dream and we were back to our old fabulous lives. There seems to be little respite.
Charm xx
3 Likes
@Charm glad you have that that voice mail. I understand how difficult it is to listen to it. When my husband was in memory care, one of the caretakers phone video my husband and I slow dancing. She sent it to me. We were both crying. It would be the last time we danced. I have watched it, it’s very precious to me, but I don’t watch it very often because it will bring me to my knees sobbing. I am crying now just thinking about. Treasures we will have forever.
Love and peace, Karen
4 Likes