@Charm, last week, going through some old archives of stuff from ages ago, came across a video when we took my estranged son to a Kart race track. She took some video and narrated it. I never thought I’d hear her voice again but did. It cracks me up to hear it but but it also calms me and brings her back to me because I know how she would be there for anyone. That was what she was like.
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I have mine and my husband wedding day on dvd not watched in a while may try to watch one day
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Tho
Everything is totally heartbreaking……
Hugs to you all
We must get through this somehow together
Xx
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I have some videos on my phone of my husband playing musical chairs with my grandchildren and one of him rolling my daughter in the snow when we had the Beast from the East. I daren’t watch them. They’ll probably kill me off. Love to you all on this cold evening x.
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Yeah, got my wedding on video. It was only supposed to be me and Viv with her son and my daughter as witnesses but relatives got to know and invited themselves. So many there, I couldn’t get over it, that was 2002! Still find it heart-breaking to watch but have to because it was us and how we were. John
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I smell all of his clothes and shoes and kiss his phone and coat etc. Anything to keep him and his smell near me. There are so many pictures everywhere.
I am so pleased and proud to have been his wife for 25 years and I love him so much it is breaking my heart. I talk to him and call his name all the time hoping he will be there.
I am sure I am dehydrated with all the tears xx
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Oh i wish i had some videos just to hear his voice…miss my darling H sooo much. X
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Hi
I too smell Paul’s clothes
He has a Peugeot bipper for work I used her a lot to move us
I just can’t part with her
When I drive her she just smells Paul
I chatter to him all the time while driving
I sleep with his rab coat
Cry into every single night
I hate this life he was my rock
I still have his phone
Can’t bear to cancel the contract……
Xx
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I kept Robin’s phone going as well and I hold it and kiss it. I will never get rid of anything that was his and I haven’t eased his pillow cases either.
I think only about him and I think I am still in shock. Xx
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You are so like me in many ways dear Bess. Love to you xxx
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I am only 6 mos and 18 days into my grief journey, although with Alzheimer’s, you lose your beloved one twice, once when their mind is stolen by this wicked disease, then finally their physical body is taken. So my journey really began when he was diagnosed, and I knew even before that. I knew where it was going, just didn’t know how long it would take to get there. It has been an indescribable journey. Hard to explain how he struggled and suffered, and hard to explain mine. My emotional strength is gone. Will I get it back, don’t know. It has been a very powerful and devastating journey. It as always been just the 2 of us, no children and we didn’t live near family. He was the center of my universe, married 52 yrs, together for 57. My sweet precious man, loved him so.
Karen
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Hello everyone. I’ve had a fairly stable day today until I went through my voicemails and found one from David. It was a cheerful, jokey one and I made the mistake of listening to it. I totally went to pieces! I wailed and wailed. My eldest daughter came round and had a cuppa with me. I calmed down and we had a bit of a laugh. But, oh that pain when it hits! How we survive it is a mystery to me. Love and strength to you all. Jean xx.
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Me too I thought after 4 months it would get easier but I spend ages looking at photos and videos of him. I still can’t really process that he’s gone.
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Hi my husband died just over twelve months ago and I’m not finding it any easier. Probably worse. I still can’t believe he’s gone and that I won’t ever see or talk to him again. My heart is totally broken.X
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That’s one of the most difficult things. I cannot quite grasp that he’s gone either. It seems unreal.
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@Jean8 , @SkyeGardener and @Loobyloo2 I think it’s not just accepting our loved ones have gone but that they have also taken part of us with them. Part of our hearts, part of who we are. What is left in that void is the pain of grief and we fill it with our tears and sadness. We don’t get over it, we can only learn to live with it and that I think is the hardest lesson in life we will ever have and it never end but last as long as we do. xx
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Mike how very true .To be without my hubby and son for the rest of my life is hard to contemplate but I have no choice xxx
@Marg1 You are right, we have no choice, our lives have changed. But we can choose how we start to learn to live in this different reality. There are many stories on threads on this site which are optimistic and offer hope and others that are more pessimistic. Each of us is an individual and will proceed in our own way but the starting point is always within us. I hope we can all find a way forward that suits us. I will certainly be trying to do that. xx
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It is hard Mike but we try.I have just had a little break on my own upto a B and B that I have been many times in the past.Also having a 2 day break in York next week with a friend.I try my best my boy in my head 24/7 but the distraction does help.You are right its a different life but its a life we have to live.My love to you and living your best life for those we have lost Marg xxx
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I have booked a solo cruise for october. Its on my bucket list. I didn’t think i would be going alone but why not. Im alone at home. Im just going to be alone with gorgeous views
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