@deb5. I agree he should have done that but do I I tell him that. If I decide to then I would have to do that sensitively otherwise if could could across as criticism.
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So what? Sounds very much like he has been messing with your head and you are most definitely not the one who should be worrying about what to say! Iâm all for grabbing every opportunity and living life. Taking chances even. But only if it enhances your life and makes you happy. It sounds like this situation is only causing you stress. Do you really want him to approach you again? Or would it be so much better to wait for somebody who will do everything it takes to make you happy? I am absolutely sure which option I would choose. And it wouldnât be him! Sorry, maybe Iâve been a bit harsh with you here but it just sounds like you are really doing yourself a disservice by worrying about someone who has messed you about royally. Perhaps time to let this go and move on? Take care x
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Good point @Arvia perhaps if I do mention I wanted to couch it in a non critical way because I am wishing he might re-approach me when he is ready (although deep down I know he will likely not). There is also the fact I am totally overthinking all of this as I can be an over thinker at the best of times. I donât think he is deliberately messing with my head, I am letting it all on my own xx
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Yeh you do what you think is best for you ⊠theres no wrong or right ⊠but be cautious with him as you have no idea where this is gonna go either. And know what you mean im an over thinker too. I think its a result as being widowed too. You lose your confidence xx
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Yes I get where your coming from my itâs early days and my grief is very raw plus Iâm finding it very hard to cope I wasnât allowed closure to say goodbye because of his family
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Huh dont talk to me about families ! Theyre the worst. I never realised how very selfish mine were ! Why would i worry about them when i had my lovely husband ! But they have shown their true colours and i dont like what i see at all ;( xxx
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A facilitator at one bereavement support group, about 80, a grief therapist, shared her story of two marriages. She remarried 8 months into her bereavement, and 2 years later, the second husband unfortunately also passed on. She recounted how the grief became exceptionally unbearable. As a therapist, she said this was because she never really fully grieved for her first love, and the loss became compounded and it almost completely destroyed her. I could imagine this might apply should the second relationship not work out. Perhaps it would be important to be sure that it is not from desperation. And it is soooooo hard for us, when we are left all by ourselves⊠: (
Since you have started, why not just flow with it, discover how far, how much, how to, how not to⊠all the questions we would have at the beginning of any relationship⊠? If at any point it does not feel, smell right, then back out⊠Best wishesâŠ
Well I am talking about his family not mine my poor angel passed with mine by his side as I wasnât their his family very tainted people I knew when the day came they would be greedy and have it all which doesnât bother me at all but because I took a few momentoes and my own personal belongings I was branded a thief xx
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Yeh thats awful and so mean ! For goodness sakes !! Yeh i know i realised you were talking about his family ⊠but families are difficult. I have found mine so lacking in compassion and empathy. They just want to brush it all under the carpet as if its all just some big mistake! Makes me fuming! My life has changed so massively and not in a good way and yet they still show such little compassion 
my mum is probably best at understanding x
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He doesnt want to start a relationship though does he âŠ
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Relationship donât know, what I do know is I need people around me who is going through the same thing. I need friendship and support. They are the most important things to me right now.
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I think the real issue here is love, we missed ng that, we missing the person that cared about us the most. Yes they got old, but not didnât stop them loving us. My mum told me she loved me, which got me emotional at the time. Having lost that person makes life so hard now.
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please dont put all the blame on men for doing this as i have noticed by some on here, woman do the same thing. if people love each other, doesnt matter how long its been since the death of your partner. you will know if its real or not. doesnt mean you love your previous partner any less, every relationship is different.
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Bless ya heart and no they donât show compassion I thought my angels family would have been in contact but his ex wife and kids poisoned them against me because they are all for the ex wife even though she made his life hell cheated on him called him names turned up where he was working etc horrible narcisstic woman but somehow itâs all my fault grrr makes my blood boil I wasnât allowed anything not even his ashes says it all really some days I seem fine but today is a bad day havenât stopped crying all day breaks my heart 
hope you find peace in doing something for your anniversary etc least you got to say goodbye I didnât have that closure as wasnât allowed too 
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Aw âŠthatâs sad for you families hey and can very bitter after divorces/separation etc i know xx
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Also lost his dog Rudi yesterday 
he was 16 bless him now reunited with his dad my angel xx
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Oh dear you poor thing ⊠maybe go get a puppy like i did ⊠think about it anyway xx
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No I have 2 cats one is my daughters he wasnât my dog he was my fiancĂ© and his daughter she had him when her father passed I wasnât allowed to see him for 8 months nasty family
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Aw ⊠i see - at least you have your cats. Bereavment really doesnt always bring our the best out in families does it ? Xx
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