My husband of 54 years marriage and two years of engagement died on 21st July 2022 and i grieve every minute of every day. But I keep referring to this poem which is called The Gate of the Year and was quoted by King George Sixth in his Christmas broadcast to the nation in 1939 . Many of you will be familiar with these words but they are what I am thinking tonight December 31st and I am not deeply religious but I find them a comfort. Here they are…
The Gate of the Year.
I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
" Give me a light that i may tread safely into the unknown."
And he replied ; "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand
of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than any known way."
So i went forth and finding the Hand of God trod gladly into the night and He
led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the East.
Hope that these words give us all some courage.
How sweet! What smart little jackets!
Thank you . We were visiting Phil’s tree, just planted on the 27 December, at the memorial gardens of the crematorium 
Thank you for these words🙏
My little guardian angels in fluffy white coats 
Bet they are cuties
Xx
Do you put his name in cards … aw bless you … never thought of that … 
god its so hard to know what to do innit - felt a bit weird doing that ! My family hsve been really bad handling all this you know … they just cant.deal with it - theyre all in denial really and they dont get it how hard it is ether - i think they just think it happens to somebody else … ;(
Aw bless are his ashes there too ? By.the tree cos that would be a really good idea wouldnt it ? Honestly i cant deal with any of that yet ! My husbands ashes are in my lounge under his picture ! Youre so brave xx
No his ashes are at home, in his box in sideboard in our front room.
The crematorium people were lovely, and understood that we are all different in how we deal with things.
As it’s a tree, up to 4 lots of ashes can be put in ground with the tree won’t need that many, but will be in my will that when I go my ashes and Phil’s ashes will be put with the tree together.
I could even leave a space on the plaque I’ve had made for my name to be added, when my time comes.
And yes some of my family and friends think it’s weird me writing Phil’s names in cards, but others understand.
I usually put his name in brackets.
Bless you 
Took me a while to deal with it…over a year.
In fact it was on the anniversary of his funeral. I went back to the crematorium, and had a walk around the memorial gardens, and thought how beautiful it was, and do decided id like to a plant a tree for Phil.
Everything in our own time for all these things xxxx
@Cathphil Regarding cards I just cant sign my darlings name but for family and close friends I put a little heart in the corner somewhere with his name in it. Works for me and they love it. Best wishes. Ann x
That’s lovely
Hi @VillaBoy22, have you heard of ‘borrow my dog’ or ‘the cinnamon trust’ though not sure how that would fit in with your work commitments, just a thought. Dooku is a stunner and must be a good help to you. Take care x
Like you, this is my first Christmas and new Year without my beautiful wife! Christmas was easier in many ways, spending time with my family and spoiling our grandchildren and lots of hugs and kisses.
New Year was harder as the reality is it’s my first year without her.
My wife passed away on 14/11/23 and her funeral was 11/12/23 - I didn’t send any cards, partly because of the timing but also because I hadn’t worked out how I should sign them, sounds silly I know …… maybe next year
New Years Eve was a quiet one home alone with my furry friend - I didn’t watch any of the NY celebrations as I didn’t need to be reminded of that. NY day was fun at my sisters house which we have always done for 20 years and longer, we all raised a glass for her to remember.
Although Elissa passed away on 14/11 she is no longer in pain or suffering or all of that turmoil. She is all around me in my home and forever in my heart. I like to come home, lock the door and be here.
@Cat_fan so sorry for your loss. Its not silly. I didnt send christmas cards this year only gave them to close friends and family as I couldnt bear to sign just my name but on the cards I did give I put a little heart in a corner with my husbands initial (or Dad, Grandad) and kisses under. They all seemed to love it. just my way of keeping him with us. Take care. Ann xx