@VillaBoy22
I’ll also be on my own tonight. As the day goes by I’m dreading one of the worst moments of my life, reaching a new year without him there for a kiss and cuddle, and a toast to making lovely plans for the incoming year. It was September when my whole world changed and it feels as though he’s moving further away from me far too soon. But we are all facing our demons and through this forum we know we are in each others thoughts.
I wish everyone strength to get through it, and best wishes for the New Year.xx
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Deb
Know just how you feel, sometimes I feel like my feet are just stuck in the mud and cant move myself to do much but then I just have to do something, got out in the garden today to get out of the house and it made such a nice change. Please remember that we all know how you feel and its so good to have people here who totally understand. Hope you have a better day tomorrow take care xx
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Hi All
You are all a tonic for me
Through circumstances we can’t change ( and hate) we are all feeling the same
And every single one of you ‘get it’ and respond to my posts when you can
Thank you for helping/ carrying
Me through definitely the worst experience of my life
Like you Debs our plans are now non existent
Who am I?
Where am I going
Where do I belong
I just cannot comprehend there’s no
Paul and Sylvia or Sylvia and Paul
I’m home with Muffin in bed used to go to London fireworks yes stood on the embankment pavement near Big Ben
We loved
Couldn’t watch them last year nor this will I ever……
Stroke of midnight a kiss and fireworks the whole year to look forward to
Now……
All the best folks thinking of you all and again thanks for being there
Xx
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Meant to read
I’ll be in bed before midnight not in bed now
And Muffin sleeps downstairs in the utility room!
Xx
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Thsnks … yeh i know ! Im gonna take my puppy for a walk on the canal now ! Get-out of this bloody house !!! Xx
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Went to canal for a walk … got bit wet but who cares it did me good !! And lucy my pup liked it ! Different scenery ! Thank god ! Wet wet wet here ! Xx
Just been out with Muffin not raining here …… yet!
Xx
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Just got back from walking my dogs Rosie and Dottie windy here but refreshing really don’t know what we would do without our pets it’s just me and my girls tonight x
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Just me and my (they were our) cats Suki and Merlin this evening. x
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Suki and Merlin stressing about the coming new year!
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I know i still say our … but it was "our " at one point … so nothing wrong with that ! seems like a million years ago like !! Sometines i think - was i ever a couple and then i think yes course i was , you didnt dream it Debra , but it seems so long ago since i was 
Yes, I still find it very difficult to say “my” instead of “our”. It at least brings a lump to my throat. At other times tears … x
I actually get some comfort from it … because then i know i was a couple once … it actually doesnt bother me that much , depends on the context … i dont really like saying my , either, unless im talking about clothes or something of my oen and i wouldve said that before anyway
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@JerryH
They’re beautiful. I wish I had pets, I have never felt so alone and bereft. Last year we were making plans for travel once we retired, and now I’m sitting on my own with memories. As are we all, sadly x
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Yeh i feel same @Mist2 … its awful innit but im just gonna try distract myself with some cooking and tidying up and then a lot of prosecco tonight ! Gonna watch jools holland on bbc2 … like him and rod Stewart is on too ( bbc2) xx
Hi @Mist2,
Thank you. I will not tell them what you said. They are already way too self satisfied as it is!
Yes, I know those feelings intimately. Ghastly.
Strength, hugs and best wishes to you. x
They’re gorgeous xx
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I still say our all the time, and sign Phil’s name on cards .
I will always.
Live to you all 
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My husband of 54 years marriage and two years of engagement died on 21st July 2022 and i grieve every minute of every day. But I keep referring to this poem which is called The Gate of the Year and was quoted by King George Sixth in his Christmas broadcast to the nation in 1939 . Many of you will be familiar with these words but they are what I am thinking tonight December 31st and I am not deeply religious but I find them a comfort. Here they are…
The Gate of the Year.
I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
" Give me a light that i may tread safely into the unknown."
And he replied ; "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand
of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than any known way."
So i went forth and finding the Hand of God trod gladly into the night and He
led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the East.
Hope that these words give us all some courage.
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