Awwww I have no videos as such like that but photos and as I say memories come up on my phone
Paul organised us a puppy …… 3 years ago when a friends cocker spaniel was old enough to have pups ( Paul organised a cocker spaniel for me in 1985 surprise Gemma she had 8 pups on the 8/8/88 we kept one Lady)
Anyway Paul passed and I so waited for ‘this puppy’
Mother had her first season in Jan 23 but had a poorly leg so Andrew didn’t put her into pup so I’d wait
Friends wanted me to get another puppy no I’ll wait for Paul’s pup
Born 9/9/23 went to see her like you when she was 3 weeks old
I was fine seeing her but got home and it hit me
Paul organised this pup now she’s here and Paul would never see her
So picked Muffin up 8th November a friend was coming with me then it went wrong at her end so …… I went myself
Told Muffin on the way home all about Paul but now it’s just her and me and we’ve started how we are going to go on
Just the 2 of us …….
I find it so so hard she’s a bundle of energy and Paul will never see her
I’ve taken her to the church yard to ‘meet Paul’ twice and I’m going with her today
If folks think I’m mad when they see me talking to Paul’s headstone myself and when I take Muffin I just don’t care
Paul organised absolutely everything before he passed
We moved 14 th July 22 and he lived to see me here
He never ever let me done once
Met him when I was 17 4 years then married 10 days short of 44
Funeral on our wedding anniversary 5 th August
My choice
We married on that day we parted that day 44 years later
Where did that time go
In tears as I write this tomorrow 2024 through another door and leaving Paul further away/ behind
He’s in my head in my mind in my bones I’ll always have him with me but …… like all of us on here I’d rather have him actually here
Difficult day for all of us I’m sending hugs to you all
Xx
Sending everyone for 2024 peace and good health
For some of us like myself it will be your first year without your loved ones for others it could be a number of years without them
It is hard for each of us now and learning to survive the days years ahead but we get through these times although with tears and upset.
As i have found out no one knows whats ahead anymore or how much time each of us has therefore please be kind and help others who are struggling
Listening and being there for others is a good start.
Take care
Lynne Xx
Bless you @Bess1
I understand everything you write
We organised getting our puppy in June 2022. I’d had a week off work and managed to get COVID, which meant due to my husband’s medical conditions I couldn’t spend anytime in the same room as him, except for when fulfilling my caring roles, dealing with his medication and food and drinks
It was hard. A couple of weeks later my very understanding boss gave me an extra two days leave , and told me to do something with Phil that we both loved.
Well we loved our dog Treacle the most, so decided to get a puppy.
Hence meeting Bobby when he was only 3 weeks old. He came home to us at 10 weeks , after visiting him 3 times in his first home.
Phil and Bobby had 12 days together. I’m so glad they did, even though Phil was asleep most of the time for the last 7 days of his life. Treacle our first dog suffered depression after Phil died.
It makes me so so sad watching Bobby grow up, I just wish Phil was here to see it too.
I have Phil’s ashes at home.
But I have just (27 December) planted a tree in the memorial gardens of the crematorium where he had his farewell service.
And I’ve been twice already with the dogs. It’s lovely and peaceful.
I lost my darling wife in February. I got a rescue dog a few months later. She seems to know what has happened and is so affectionate. Please rescue a dog it will help you I promise.
Thanks @GEOFF211
It will be the first thing I do once I make the decision to retire. My brother’s dog is the best thing that ever happened to him. He has lived on his own for years and he was becoming more and more isolated and lonely. She is loved by everyone who knows her in our town, people put treats in their pockets for her in the hope that they’ll see her I often think that she senses how lucky she is to have such a lovely life after a very bad start x
Thsnks @Cathphil … it took hospital nearly 3 months to find his cancer in biopsy ! His consultant said it wasn’t anything sinister !!! Just a blockage ! Im so angry with them for messing about ! We might have saved him if they hadnt ??? In october they were gonna treat him, by november they said cancer had spread , but again his consultant and oncologist were arguing about it ! Its bad care and i lost my husband in december last year !
I often think id like to sue them … but won’t bring him back will it ?? xx
Bless you for replying ! I feel my life is in ruins now … because of all this and i got no husband to love me have i … xx
Hi
Yes Muffin does help and when I’m upset comes to me and she sits on my knee
I tell Paul about her all the time and vice versa
I have some of Paul’s ashes at home ( the rest buried in the churchyard)
When I meet Paul again his ashes from home will be with mine and buried next to him
I’ve told my sister in law Paul’s twins wife and Richard Paul’s twin what I want and also put it in my will also
As I’m by myself now it’s important to me family know my wishes and I make things easier for them to deal with…….
Not yet tho ……. We do have a life it’s just at this moment I’m not living it ( if you know what I mean)
Thanks everyone on here for just being there this year. 7 months for me now and like us all, losing my husband has been the hardest journey I’ve ever had to endure. This really is the only place where people understand and “get it”. I’ve already had some messages today wishing me a Happy New Year and that 2024 will be a better year for me as I can now move on .
It’s just another door that will close behind me that I’m not ready for.
I will be having cheese & wine alone tonight but am happy to be at home with my thoughts and will be thinking of you all out there feeling the same.
@Sam25 I echo your words exactly except I will be in bed by new year as I know I wouldnt be able to stop the tears and Ive cried so much these last 7 months so sleep hopefully for me. Enjoy your cheese and wine. Take Care . Ann. xx
Yesl i feel exactly same @Bess1 … your last paragraph - "we have a life to live but its not worth living at the moment " i just got my puppy to keep me going, that’s all … my sister text over xmas … so thats been nice ! Feel so fed up over xmas … where is my life going and whats the point ? I hope i find some direction next year ;( i really do . Xx
Hi Deb,
We had a similar experience, the hospital messed around trying to sort out what they might do to try to help the cancer, its so annoying but like you said it wont bring him back. You arent alone and hope that you can find a way to move on, hope you have a better day tomorrow. I find the mornings are the worst but am hoping that things improve, sending lots of hugs to you xxx
Thank you @jantee … i just get so sad … whats the bliming point half the time i feel like i have nothing to look forward to anymore … everything is so hard and its been hard over xmas too x
I will be seeing the New Year in alone tonight with my Daughter’s puppy Dooku to keep me company as they are off out for a meal with friends & i offered to have my little buddy overnight, i have my Wife Anna’s ashes here at home with me so myself & Dooku will be here with her at the stroke of midnight. I have every reason to believe it will be a quite emotional evening for me having only lost my Anna at the beginning of November but i know she’s with me always if not in body but definitely in spirit. 2023 has without doubt been the worst year of my 55 years & i will be happy to see the back of it being honest. I don’t know what 2024 holds for me but as long as i have the memories that me & my Anna shared over 31 years then it doesn’t matter.
I hope everyone on this forum has as good a New Year as your individual circumstances will allow, above all i would like everyone to stay safe & strong.
Big Love & Hugs to all xx
Derek x
it could be a number of years without them
I often think that she senses how lucky she is to have such a lovely life after a very bad start x
xx
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