the first time in 45 years there will be no tree or decorations up in my house was going to say home but it don’t feel like home now without my soulmate, I lost my husband in July and every year we had a big family Christmas but can’t face it without him,
I really don’t want to do anything but can’t bear to upset the kids and grandkids so We’re having a quiet Christmas Day round my sister in laws with my sister there too and there hubbys and my son then Boxing Day it round my other sons house with rest of kids and grandkids which is going to be so very hard
And the sad thing is I always found it hard buying presents for Roger but this year I found the perfect gift a model of his first sports car TR6 maybe I’ll buy it and put it with his ashes
Linda Take care everyone xx
No tree or decorations for me either x
I’ll put a few bits up, but a proper tree might be a step too far. I’ve got a mini table tree, which I might use depending upon how I’m feeling.
I’m going to do something, but not as much as usual. I hope it doesn’t make me feel worse.
I lost my husband in April. This Christmas is going to be tough. But I am going to get a tree, and lights. I started giving out cards signed from just me to people that I won’t see before Christmas. The reindeer will go on the lawn outside next to the fir tree, with lights. I’ll probably cry because I don’t really know how to organise it, it’s not fair. It’s not how it should have been. Some days I’m distraught. But I’m going to have a bloody good go. We always bought the tree for indoors together. Christmas is for children and my three grandchildren are coming for Christmas dinner so it needs to be special for them. I’ll get out a bottle of Steve’s favourite red and we’ll have a toast. I’m not getting over it, just taking little steps to live with it. As a family we will come together to remember him.
Well done you. Brian died in November last year so Christmas was a blur. However my grandkids came and decided to put up my tree for me. I really wasn’t interested but so pleased they did it as it brightened my mood occasionally and I found myself walking around the streets at night (walking the dogs) and looking at all the lights and tree’s in the windows and believe it or not they did cheer me up. Brian always did our tree, it never bothered me much. I know the children keep asking their mum when it’s December so that they can come and put up my tree for me, so I am actually looking forward to it this year. Perhaps Brian is with them showing them how it should be done. He was so fussy about the lights on the tree, like a big kid and I laughed at him…
Pat xxx
I found a Lindt Advent calendar in the wardrobe this morning.I bought it 3 months ago,knowing how much Rob loved his Lindt,so I opened it and had number 1.Well,chocolate is comfort food,yes?
Well done jill.
You constantly amaze me with how strong you are being x
Yes, it is. Somehow, through all this grief we need to nurture ourself too, otherwise we will get unwell.
I’m having a good day today.Trying to enjoy it while I can.It could all change in a few hours
That’s good to hear.
And it will all conectashing down jill. Expect it to and you wont be so devastated when it does.
Accept the good moments and just get through the bad. We are all here for you x
Come crashing down.
I really must check my posts.
Hi Linda, I decided I wasn’t going to put up the tree this year. I go away on the 27th and thought taking it down on my return would be too depressing. Yesterday my step daughter and her mum gave me a mini spruce with baubles on for my coffee table. It was such a kind gesture I decided to embrace it and put up my fairy lights round the windows. It actually did give me a bit of a lift. Maybe a tree is too much for you…consider a few twinkly lights to brighten the darkness xxxxx wishing you warmth and coziness this Christmas. I know it will be hard for so many of us but remember it is Yule tide as well as Christmas , and Yule was all about surviving the winter. So keep warm, accept help and eat lots xxxx
Yesterday I put the Christmas tree up. This is the first Christmas without my husband, he lost his fight with cancer April this year and even though he was very ill last Christmas we enjoyed ourselves. It felt strange and very sad putting the tree up alone as we both loved the tree. But I love the lights on the dark nights.
My son whom is autistic is coming home on Christmas eve and going back to his home (he is in a supported living house) on Christmas day after teatime so he loves all the decorations.
I am dreading being on my own Christmas night and boxing day. I haven’t many family. A brother I hardly see and a stepdaughter that lives a long way away. I will be glad when it is all over.
Take care everyone!
Anne
Hi everyone. I lost my husband suddenly 5 weeks ago aged only 61 bless him. I’m finding it hard to manage at the moment with lots of tears. luckily I have no regrets or things I wished I had done or not done said etc if that makes sense. I’m not looking forward to Xmas but I’m hoping I can be strong so as not to spoil it for all of my loving and supportive family and friends. Love to everyone on this site and lets hope we can be of some small help to each other xxx
Hi everyone I have read all the posts and it makes me feel so sad for us all but it doesn’t make it any easier to bear. This will be my third Christmas without my husband and I am going to my daughters for two nights then doing a mini Christmas dinner for my eldest son and family on the Friday. I’m finding it so hard after having a breakdown a few weeks ago after working myself into the ground for the last year to blot everything out. That is not the answer be kind to yourself take time to grieve I really wish I had and now seem to be fighting everything. Please take care of yourselves and don’t try too hard people understand x
My Dave died15th February so my first Christmas alone. I want to be alone and have no children or grandchildren. I’ve had a few invites. Dave and I used to like to be alone and watch tv as I’m doing. I’ve wrapped a few pressies to open christmas morning. My friend and her husband are popping in for a mince pie. I’ve put a few decorations up but NO tree. Trying really hard to be positive. Miss my Dave my soulmate so much after 32 years. Thinking of you all. Xx
I have read all the post’s and yes it’s hard my first Christmas to without Alan we all need to do what is right for us and be kind to your self and to other pass on the kindness the little things are sometimes the best the for me the person who stops to say hi even though I don’t no them I think Christmas will be hard for us all even when I am in a crowd iam by myself in my bubble be good to your self xx
Well,I’ve been invited to a neighbours for Christmas dinner.Just her and her Mum.I’m really anxious about this as I’m way out of my comfort zone,being the first Christmas without Rob.I still don’t have much of an appetite and I don’t want to appear rude if I don’t eat much.I was going to say no to her but she has been so kind since Rob died.
Jill I can’t tell you what to do just do thats right for you if her mum is older you may find that she doesn’t eat much either or need some company other than her mum if it’s anything like my mum she just eats then go’s to sleep I don’t know how old thay are. You could just go for an hour after lunch if not just tell them how you feel I am shore thay will understand don’t get your self in a state of it it’s just lunch xx