No tree or decorations this Christmas

the first time in 45 years there will be no tree or decorations up in my house was going to say home but it don’t feel like home now without my soulmate, I lost my husband in July and every year we had a big family Christmas but can’t face it without him,
I really don’t want to do anything but can’t bear to upset the kids and grandkids so We’re having a quiet Christmas Day round my sister in laws with my sister there too and there hubbys and my son then Boxing Day it round my other sons house with rest of kids and grandkids which is going to be so very hard
And the sad thing is I always found it hard buying presents for Roger but this year I found the perfect gift a model of his first sports car TR6 maybe I’ll buy it and put it with his ashes
Linda Take care everyone xx

1 Like

No tree or decorations for me either x

2 Likes

I’ll put a few bits up, but a proper tree might be a step too far. I’ve got a mini table tree, which I might use depending upon how I’m feeling.
I’m going to do something, but not as much as usual. I hope it doesn’t make me feel worse.

1 Like

So sorry for your loss,I lost my wife in July,this will be my first Christmas without her in 40 years of marriage,just not looking forward to Christmas,but I have to stay strong for our married daughter,it’s so hard,I understand how you feel,and what you are going through.
Take care X

1 Like

I lost my husband in April. This Christmas is going to be tough. But I am going to get a tree, and lights. I started giving out cards signed from just me to people that I won’t see before Christmas. The reindeer will go on the lawn outside next to the fir tree, with lights. I’ll probably cry because I don’t really know how to organise it, it’s not fair. It’s not how it should have been. Some days I’m distraught. But I’m going to have a bloody good go. We always bought the tree for indoors together. Christmas is for children and my three grandchildren are coming for Christmas dinner so it needs to be special for them. I’ll get out a bottle of Steve’s favourite red and we’ll have a toast. I’m not getting over it, just taking little steps to live with it. As a family we will come together to remember him.

7 Likes

Well done you. Brian died in November last year so Christmas was a blur. However my grandkids came and decided to put up my tree for me. I really wasn’t interested but so pleased they did it as it brightened my mood occasionally and I found myself walking around the streets at night (walking the dogs) and looking at all the lights and tree’s in the windows and believe it or not they did cheer me up. Brian always did our tree, it never bothered me much. I know the children keep asking their mum when it’s December so that they can come and put up my tree for me, so I am actually looking forward to it this year. Perhaps Brian is with them showing them how it should be done. He was so fussy about the lights on the tree, like a big kid and I laughed at him…
Pat xxx

2 Likes

I found a Lindt Advent calendar in the wardrobe this morning.I bought it 3 months ago,knowing how much Rob loved his Lindt,so I opened it and had number 1.Well,chocolate is comfort food,yes?

2 Likes

Well done jill.
You constantly amaze me with how strong you are being x

Yes, it is. Somehow, through all this grief we need to nurture ourself too, otherwise we will get unwell.

I’m having a good day today.Trying to enjoy it while I can.It could all change in a few hours

1 Like

That’s good to hear.

And it will all conectashing down jill. Expect it to and you wont be so devastated when it does.
Accept the good moments and just get through the bad. We are all here for you x

Come crashing down.
I really must check my posts.

1 Like

Hi Linda, I decided I wasn’t going to put up the tree this year. I go away on the 27th and thought taking it down on my return would be too depressing. Yesterday my step daughter and her mum gave me a mini spruce with baubles on for my coffee table. It was such a kind gesture I decided to embrace it and put up my fairy lights round the windows. It actually did give me a bit of a lift. Maybe a tree is too much for you…consider a few twinkly lights to brighten the darkness xxxxx wishing you warmth and coziness this Christmas. I know it will be hard for so many of us but remember it is Yule tide as well as Christmas , and Yule was all about surviving the winter. So keep warm, accept help and eat lots xxxx

Yesterday I put the Christmas tree up. This is the first Christmas without my husband, he lost his fight with cancer April this year and even though he was very ill last Christmas we enjoyed ourselves. It felt strange and very sad putting the tree up alone as we both loved the tree. But I love the lights on the dark nights.
My son whom is autistic is coming home on Christmas eve and going back to his home (he is in a supported living house) on Christmas day after teatime so he loves all the decorations.
I am dreading being on my own Christmas night and boxing day. I haven’t many family. A brother I hardly see and a stepdaughter that lives a long way away. I will be glad when it is all over.
Take care everyone!
Anne

Hi everyone. I lost my husband suddenly 5 weeks ago aged only 61 bless him. I’m finding it hard to manage at the moment with lots of tears. luckily I have no regrets or things I wished I had done or not done said etc if that makes sense. I’m not looking forward to Xmas but I’m hoping I can be strong so as not to spoil it for all of my loving and supportive family and friends. Love to everyone on this site and lets hope we can be of some small help to each other xxx

1 Like