On the first year anniversary of him passing , which was actually really hard , i threw a red rose in the canal near us in remembrance of him … kissed it and watched it float away xx
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@Deb5 not looking forward to 1st anniversary - that’s a tough one 
Rose in canal is a nice idea - but a difficult metaphor watching it float away
It’s a hard hard road we have to walk
@Broken2222 my partner also wanted donations instead of flowers to HAPPA - she loved horses
She took a video when we went to garden of remembrance at hospital just before she was discharged - about month before she died
Only been back once, but found that difficult
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@Deb5 oh that is so sweet ,brought a tear to my eye . …today brought a lot of swear words to my mind , luckily i didnt say them . I was asked at work , of one woman , what am I doing for valentine’s day , I just looked at her and said nothing , her reply , " a romantic dinner for one " then she went on to say her and her husband didn’t bother with it now . Lucky her !!! To have that choice . Some people bring out the worst in me , sorry x
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Yeh i cried when i left it and didn’t want to walk away but im glad i did it as a way of remembering him … x
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@Broken2222 Don’t know what’s wrong with people 
Some just seem to thrive on capitalising on other people’s misery
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@MemoriesOfUs , definitely, I’m sure I was never that nasty to anyone in my happy life . I feel like putting a sicky in tomorrow , saying I have valentineITIS. LOL X
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For Elissa’s funeral we had family flowers only !
Donations were split 50/50 between Sue Ryder (Thorpe Hall) and MacMillan and the final amount raised was just over £2000 and she would have wanted to help others!
We’re both jinxed when it comes to plants and flowers- my mum’s green fingers passed to my sister 
Just put some flowers with her photo for tomorrow! She laughed at my flower arrangement skills for sure
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What a b*** ch … wow the things people say … im afraid i wouldve have had to say something but sometimes youre so shocked you cant can you x
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Yeh you should !! Lol xx
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@Cat_fan beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady, hope you find the strength and feel the love of your wife to help you through the day . Hugs x
@Deb5 , I was to scared to open my mouth , incase all the very bad swear words came out , I really couldn’t do with getting sacked. X
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Don’t we qualify as a minority group now
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@MemoriesOfUs so true, just because we aren’t an US anymore just a ME. I really miss not being able to rant and vent to my husband now . When people / things annoy me X
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@Cat_fan I can never seem to get the flowers to stand up straight in the flower receptacle at the headstone
Nice arrangement - I’m sure she would’ve loved it
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I have kept the handkerchief that has my husbands blood on it. The paramedics used it to mop up some blood on his arm the night before he died and a lock if his hair the undertaker got for me. 
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After my mother passed away we used to visit her memorial every Mother’s Day and every birthday and then go for a family meal together.
I remember buying the flowers on one occasion and they were all taking the Pi55 - I’m sure mum was in stitches too lol ! We all had a good laugh including my wife and my sister
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You’ve already started on the pronouns
Yeah I know what you mean - no one really cares or is as invested in listening
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Yes as Debs says life full of what ifs
Definitely now more than ever when our loved one has passed
I am sure they all knew we loved them
Paul did and vice versa
Maybe when together it’s not important to justify it’s just enough them being there
Our nephew in Paul’s eulogy said
Paul and I were content in each others company
We so were
Hugs to all
Xx
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Yes - I cant get the words of a poem out my head and its really part of my coping strategy now to keep her in my mind and in my heart at all times
Thomas Campbell - Hallowed Ground
‘To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die’
Another poem that helped me get some perspective was this one,
it summed up we discussed over the last few months about her wishes.
David Harkins - She Is Gone
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@Cat_fan im sure she’d be laughing at me - could never wrap presents properly and now flower arranging appears to be another deficiency
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