You did really well !!! Xx
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I went back to the funeral home to get the nightie she was wearing when she passed
She was very pedantic about washing, which I was doing while she was ill, but didn’t think at that time, I would have nothing left with her scent on it
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Aw … that’s nice. We were the same , happy just being together 
on our last holiday in wales we enjoyed each others company so much ! Im glad we had it … before he got ill … it is a lovely but sad memory to keep and we met some lovely friends who have bless them kept in touch with me and were devastated by his shock passing xx
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You have to take the opportunity to laugh / smile about these things, its something you tease each other about as a couple (my wife was an English teacher and loved literature and the arts and i was just a cultural Philistine - but her math was appalling, I kept telling her that we got married in 2000 just to make the math easy for her and she still kept getting it wrong … and i teased her for it).
Computers was another nemesis of hers - my eldest daughter was doing her A levels at the time was teaching my wife to cut and paste on her laptop - Ctrl C is COPY, Ctrl V is PASTE and Ctrl Z is Unfcuk - Oh FFS mum.
I was in stiches in the next room with my younger daughter, tears rolling down our faces with laughter
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Yeah - those were the things you took for granted and didn’t realize how much they would mean one day
Makes this part so much more difficult
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Every little memory - just those snippets / moments that your mind stumbles upon when your doing something else … i just try to treasure those little moments
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Same here , its one of the hardest things isnt it - not being able to tell them stuff 
xx
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It really is hard I’ve started to write things down as if I’m writing to him . It’s may of trying to cope with the sadness of it not being able to tell him things.
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Yeh the bereavment counsellor told me to do that … really helps doesnt it xxxx
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@Nett1 , my husband always cut his own hair with shears , when he was going through his treatment he cut it really short and said it was his cancer cut . I actually hated him saying that but couldn’t tell him . After he died while filling a memory box , I opened his wallet before I put it in ,and found a plastic pouch with my hair in , he must of picked it up years ago when I had my hair cut in the house . Each time he got a new wallet he must have put it in the side but . Finding this helped me know I was truly loved. It’s strange now what gives us such comfort , X
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Aw … that’s so sweet 
xx
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@Deb5 , I had wrote in a diary every day since my husband died , I read it back about 6 months ago , and the rawness is still here . Yes I managed my days better, but just the devastation of never seeing him again in this life , so soul destroying . I actually stopped writing in it then . But I still have a talk with him every night before I attempt to go to sleep. X
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Yeh i was having a good old chat with him today as i made pancakes ! He actually loved pancake day more than valentines lol … i used to buy cream and he liked it with cream and treacle and i thought tonight - he will never eat pancakes again will he ? ;( feeling sad today … soz xx
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It is soul destroying the reality of never seeing our loved one again . It’s overwhelming . I say out loud “I just can’t believe it” and then cry 
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@wilderness it’s nearly two and half years without my husband , and I still can’t believe it has happened to us . We met when we were both 16 and he died when both 59 , so he is all I have known my adult life , I really don’t know how I have even managed to breath without him let alone function . I’m sure he must be helping me . I often look up at the stars at night and ask him where he is .X
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Broken
My husband was 58 and we had 42 years together . All of my adult life we’ve been together . He died in October 2023. It’s no wonder we can’t believe it when we’ve been with our life partners as long as we have .
I can only go day by day anything more overwhelms me when I think about my present life without him. If I think in days weeks months or years is unbearable.
Do you find that ?
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I do really believe they are helping us … i know he would want me to find some happiness because he was a kind man … and he loved life and he loved people , im sure your husband would for you too xx
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Broken2222 you and me both I feel exactly like you
Paul died July 2022 it’s as raw today as that day he died
I just ‘function’ talk to Paul all day and also at night as I attempt some sleep
I just cannot accept I won’t see him again
I too miss the banter……
What a husband and wife have is so so special and yes we all took it for granted…….
Heartbreaking
Xx
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@wilderness , yes I can’t think of a future, can’t plan anything , I just take it day by day . Sadly the days have turned into years already . And I still just ache for him . I guess I always will . Sending hugs X
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