Bailey 2. I don’t think I can move forward in my life. I have female friends but that’s all they can ever be. I believe that I will always be married to Bev, she was and is my first and only love. It will be two years tomorrow since she passed away and the last year has been even worse than the first.
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Oh u know what this woman i know said to me … oh its valentines day isnt it this month - oh but that doesnt really apply to you does it debra … what a bi**h how i kept my mouth shut i dunno … and this is a so called church goer … !!!
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Definitely a WTF??!! moment.
Well done that you restrained from hitting her. X
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Yeh thats what i thought too ! But there was a lad i know sat opposite and look he gave her ! Said it all really … but i informed her we didnt really do valentines day anyway … i mean we had been married for 35 years !! I mean youre a bit past it when you been together that long arent you … its not really the bee all and end all… i mean were not teenagers are we !
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@Deb5 i did make a lot of it the last few years . I used to trim my fireplace and we would give gifts and go for a meal to our favourite pub for that . I will light a candle for my love oh I miss a hug in his arms
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Yeh i miss the hugs too. The - i love you and the kiss on the cheek to say hi or bye 
xx
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Miss everything……. Like we all do!
Xx
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What a delightful and thoughtful bovine 
Its something i have been dreading (Valentines Day) however I have decided that i cant avoid it as its so “In yer face” everywhere so i am going to buy her some red roses and put them next to her photo and have a quiet night in.
Thats my coping strategy - but if someone says something as dumb as that to me i doubt I could restrain myself from saying something abrasive
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My wife passed away in November - I haven’t opened her wardrobe or drawer except to look. I will deal with it when i am good and ready (not before).
Elissa helped my stepdad to deal with my mothers clothes after she passed away, it was very emotional for him and we left it around 6-12 months before we suggested it. Perhaps i will take a lok in April / May when i get home from Canada
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I know i couldnt believe it !! To make a point of saying valentines day and singling me out - what a cow ! And shes wrong because he may not be here in person but hes still here in my heart ! So shows what she knows !!! I just said we didnt do valentines day anyway ! Cos we didnt really … just birthdays and xmas Xx
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Hi I have just joined this site i lost my husband 14 months ago I have recently been going through my husbands wardrobe it was very hard for me i felt like i was erasing him giving his things away i wish there was a place for us just to go and we could talk to each other about what we are feeling xxx
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Elissa and I would do Valentines (kind of - but we resented the commercialisation of it) - I openly admit I’m not the most romantic of guys but I loved her with every beat of my heart and would invariably cook something special for her which she enjoyed (her Parkinson’s meant that she could no longer cook which she had always loved). It was the effort of doing something special for each other rather than a card (although i did always buy flowers) which showed our love on a daily basis.
In the last couple of years we had a lady that would come and do Elissa’s nails but would also sit and do art & craft with her and she made a wonderful mosaic for Valentines day which is hanging in my kitchen and means so much to me, especially as i know how much love and effort she put into that . That and another mosaic butterfly in the sun lounge mean more to me than most other things.
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So sorry to hear of your loss - pleased you have joined this lovely supportive group.
I will deal with things in my own time and on my own terms - the clothing I know will be an emotive challenge, before Elissa became ill she always liked to look nice and dress nice ie hair, make-up, nails and clothes plus she loved her perfume and that’s something i should perhaps put on some items around the house. She come loved her nice boots and suited Jeans jumper and boots or a fancy ball gown equally well.
She was an English teacher and a SENCO loved to help children but her love of the arts and theatre made me choose a poem (She Is Gone) and a Shakespeare sonnet for her service.
There was a one liner in a poem by Thomas Campbell (Hallowed Ground) that has been my mantra and the cornerstone of my coping strategy
To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die
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Yeh thats why we didn’t do it cos of commercialisation of it … i know its nice in principle but much too commercial … i used to buy valentine biscuits or do a special meal but cards … we didnt bother really in the latter years xx
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We used the same cards to send each other for years … for valentine’s, our anniversary and for Christmas .
That we did that means even more now… I can get them out and put them out just like always…
… Except we always played the ritual of me giving him his to me,
and then we’d play swapping cards, laughing and smiling , and kissing xxx
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This will make my day, Elissa made this for valentine day last year. Despite her Parkinson’s and the loss of her fine motor skills this took an enormous amount of time and effort and means the world to me! From the heart
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Aw … that’s really lovely xxx
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It’s beautiful very precious
Xx
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Totally agree. Yesterday i managed to sort some more of my lovely Mum’s clothes. Don’t do it until you are ready. I have kept Mum’s things nearby and buried my nose in them over the past year and a half.
It’s really funny Mum used to carry tissues in every pocket and they were still in her jacket yesterday… Kindness and strength to all of you. Xxx
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Thank you. Love and hugs to you too x