That is truly beautiful and a lovely item made with love for you to treasure
Bless you! It’s so sad and so hard. You will find that a lot of odd things will happen which will bring it back. I think that must be part of the grieving process.
It’s ok to cry.
Nobthet dont understand youre right !! X
I know exactly what you’re going through, it took me at least four weeks before I could leave the house as I didn’t know if I could or would return, but now I go out early and get back around 5pm then I find myself talking to my beautiful wife’s photos telling her how much I love and miss her and I just say that every day I go is another day closer to joining her
I find it hard every second of every single day……. No one unless they have been in this position understands and ……. Even some of them have ‘forgotten’ how utterly devastating it is
I’m ‘alone’ just Muffin ( puppy ) and I
More than ever don’t want to go out it’s too hard and way too hurtful
So easier to stay at home and chatter away to Paul
Folks think 18 months on ‘really’
Yes really !
I loved my life I’m just broken
Xx
@Cat_fan , that’s absolutely beautiful. I know how much you must treasure it . My husband bought me a dozen red roses on our first valentine’s day ,when we were courting ( such an old fashioned word) over the years together, he made me valentine cards sometimes, we always went for fish and chips at the beach to celebrate birthdays / anniversary’s / and valentine’s day , doesn’t sound much , but very romantic to us , especially with a salt and vinegar greasy kiss after. The last valentine’s day I had with him , he had only just started a hobby of making wood stuff, he made me a plinth with two hearts on it . I loved it , little did I know ,in the march he would be diagnosed with cancer and died six months later. I treasure everything he ever made me . Because I know they were made with his love for me .X
Im having a quiet day home on the 14th, will buy her some roses and put them in a vase next to her photo and talk to her. I have er in my heart and that mosaic is so special. It will be my coping strategy for the 14th.
I will be at work on the 14th , so will have to listen to colleagues,what their partners bought them and what they are going to do . I don’t begrudge them being happy , I’m just so sad that I can’t join in the conversation , I also do think that they think ( I’m over it ) AS IF ! Because it’s over two years since husband died . They will never understand until sadly it might happen to them . …As Phil Collins says . Just Another Day In Paradise !!! Hope you manage the day best you can . X
Aw … you take care. And i hope they are a bit tactful in front of you !!! Xxx
@Deb5 , thank you , but I really don’t think they will be tactful . I had one woman eight months after my husband died , telling me she hadn’t been intimate with her husband for months and what advice could I give her . I just thought WTF , and walked away from her . I actually find it funny now , strange how some people are . X
Omg … here a so called lady i was volunteering with last week said now its february - what happens in February … so i pipe up - pancake day ! Lol and she said no Debra its valentines day but obviously that doesnt apply to you !!! Wtf … people say awful things dont they ? They just dont think !!! X
And how does she know anyway … i might have a secret lover ! Lol ( joking) … such an awful thing to say though ;( xx
Exactly , what a bitch , terrible thing to say to you , people don’t realise we are so vulnerable , and we take everything to heart . I was always told if you can’t say anything nice , don’t say anything at all ( like thumper I think ) I try to be like that , but i have been told , my face could sink a thousand ships lol x
Its an awful thing to say isnt it - even if you think it and actually my husband may not be here but i will be thinking about him on that day … bless him . And she goes to church aswell !! One of the lads who was there gave her a right look !! People know we are vulnerable i think and so they think its alright to just say what they want ! X
We are vulnerable very and I agree with you all
Folk are tactless and don’t think and yes they think we are over it
Just because we can lift our head doesn’t mean to say it isn’t heavy
Little things / memories turn into huge things when we’ve lost our soulmate
I go over conversations memories constantly…….
I’ll never be single I’ll never be a widow
I’ll always have Paul ……. But it’s so so difficult isn’t it?
Xx
Yeh its like you still got a relationship in your heart … people don’t understand that … i think they think cos they gone you have to somehow erase them from your mind … i don’t think so ! Doesn’t work like that … i think you have to move forward ( baby steps) and make friends and stuff but theyre still there in your thoughts arent they … you cant just forget they were never here and why should you ? That means they never meant anything to you ? And they certainly did … they were our world for many years , they shaped our lives and we learnt from them xx
Hi Debs
Exactly!
Xx
I hope you cope well on the 14th !
Do something to connect with your loved one somehow
Thinking of you
Our house was my wifes pride and joy. I also find it hard to be in the house. I take any excuse to go out and get back late. I say hello and goodbye every time. Mornings and evenings are the worse because everything reminds me of her.
14 months on and my life feels just as much of a mess than it was when it first happened … i know how you feel everything seems wrong doesn’t it and i panic as soon as anything goes wrong
and recently a lot seems to have done … xx