Feeling very lost today and so down. The weather is awful so thought I’d take myself out to a local garden centre which had just opened a new coffee shop/cafe. Thought that would cheer me up as I do love my coffee but sitting here seeing everyone in pairs has just made me miss my Ron more. Think I had better go home before I make a fool of my self and start crying. Hope you are all having a better day than me. X
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Ha! I have done exactly the same. I did cry but tried to conceal the fact. Why? Walked home along flooded streets, dodging the spray thrown up by passing cars.
Hope you find some comfort.
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I think that’s one of the worse things, seeing other couples out doing normal ordinary everyday things, that’s what I miss, just the ordinary boring things that we enjoyed as a couple. 
I guess we just have to build a new way x
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@JerryH Thank you. I managed to get to my car before crying. It really exhausts me and makes me feel out of control. Hope you find some comfort too. x
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It’s strange the things that trigger the tears. 3 months gone now and the pain is still just as strong though some days are better than others. It’s the loneliness at home, for the best part of the last 18 months he had been at home all the time and now there is just an empty space on the sofa
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I am 8 months into this horrible journey.Seeing other couples togeather,especially my own age or older,is difficult to handle.I am a bit uncomfortable with my feelings of jealousy but I know it’s not just me feeling this way.In my mind,though not legally,I am still married,always will be.
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I don’t know if it’s the weather or the time of year but I have felt really awful the last couple of weeks. I try and go out but it’s hard, as you say, seeing couples. I will always be married to my Keef even though I lost him in February. Now I seem to have come down with a nasty cold but at least it means I don’t have to socialise for a bit!
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I’m having my tears just now, don’t really know what set them off, it’s not been to bad do far today, I guess it’s just part of missing someone.
There is a rainbow in the sky tho v nice 
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Hi @Kathy6
Hope you are felling better.
I have these days too guess we all do after our losses.
Sometimes think i’m going ok next minutes in tears.
I think sometimes it just happens no reason or warning
Wish there was a cafe or meeting place or on line network where we could share ir talk through these times. Maybe something sue ryder org to look into.
Take care Lynne x
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It would be good to be able to meet up with others going through this, haven’t seen anyone from W Sussex on here, thanks for your kind words, they really help x
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I did not really cry very much during the first year. I don’t really know where the time went. I think I was just in shock, numb to pretty much everything. I fancy that it is partly because the shock has worn off that the true horror of what has happened and the blunt recognition of the loss hitting home that has made this second year progressively more awful. In a sense I feel I have awoken into a nightmare; completely the wrong world because my love is not in it.
I know what you mean about other couples. I’m not jealous (well not much!) It’s more that it makes me think of the fragility of it all; the capriciousness of being alive. And then I start crying …
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Sorry @JerryH
Yes it seems like time is slow but fast.
I am only 5+ months and thought i was doing well but im existing… i have got into exercise walks choir tried line dancing and joined book club and theatre group so Mo -Fri kept busy but nights are hard and weekends last forever. I hate eating alone being in house alone but unfortunately this is my new life
Maybe volunteer at weekends to use up hours i am on my own.
Then i’ll burn myself out and need to down
No matter how long we have been on our own it will be a lifetime of trying to get by.
Take care Lynne
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Oh my goodness how did you get through a year without tears, they are constant part of my day just one month into the grief, it just goes to show what different paths we are going on, I hope tears are healing and that you will find some comfort soon x
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Me too every day morning noon and night. Cry at songs, TV adverts pumpkins ! He hated me crying. I was told let them out. Weve earned our tears.
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Same here, a song, a kind word, a random thought or just nothing it’s overwhelming, I had no idea about this x
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Hi @Kathy6 @Andrea9
Yes it can be nothing but suddenly we are in floods of tears
Yesterday lots of tears today not do many tomorrow who knows.
Each day is filled with uncertainty and i cant see any difference in the oncoming months
Take care Lynne x
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Same here. Just 3 months since my loss and all sorts of things trigger tears. Sometimes I just get this pain in my heart and the tears will come, often a song or just a kind word. I have days when I feel I’m making progress then another day it hits me again and I’m back to day one. I still can’t believe that he has gone and that I am going to have to carry on without him.
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I think I only wept a couple of times during the first year. But now I am weeping several times a day. So many external things act as a trigger. But thoughts and memories also arise unbidden and I have to just stop, weep and try to steady myself. I miss my wife Christine terribly. It’s so painful to remember.
It’s very tough at the moment. And the prospect of Christmas does not help at all.
Best wishes to all.
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Best wishes to you too, I guess the tears are going to come at some stage, there is no avoiding them. The Christmas (happy happy adverts and sentiments) really make me dread the next 2 months, it’s certainly not “the most wonderful time of the year” how do we get through this period?
Hope you are all surviving the storm, best wishes from windy south coast x
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Hi
Another day wake up to find hes not here another dat on my own.
Dont know why but sleep is now broken.
No matter how i fill my days now the nights and time at home are not enjoyable without him.
How do we manage to keep going without tears is beyond me.
I dont have any family support so hard goingbon your own isnt it.
Take care Lynne x
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