It’s the small things that set you off and it hits you hard as it comes out of the blue. I think when you’ve lost someone so close, it may always be this way, just easier in time (so people tell me). My sister lost her partner of 30 years in 2021. He was also only 49, same as my husband. I hope he was waiting for him with a pint ready!! 
I’m slightly worried I’m managing too well so far. Had 2 absolutely horrendous days then the rest I’ve been tearful at times but the rest I’ve been strangely calm.
I’m absolutely dreading sorting and being at the funeral. He’s still at the coroner’s at the minute so I’m in complete limbo.
I’m used to working full time and being busy (I work for the NHS) so this is very different to my usual day to day life. My husband worked from home so I was used to him always being in when I got back. I’ve decided I don’t think I’ll take too much time off as I’ve always needed a routine to keep my mental health stable. I’ll just see how I am after the funeral.
This group is lovely despite our circumstances and I’m glad I found it. There are some ‘young widows’ groups but the age is up to 51 and I’m 52!
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Hi Lilly, there are no right or wrong ways. Each person is different and have had different lives. It’s still early for you and I hope your grieving is peaceful.
Here in Spain my wife died on the 25th the funeral was on the he 26th and she was cremated on the 27th and on the 28th I was on my own in a cold house. Far to quick I think.
This site is nice as it is very difficult to speak to people about this subject unless they have been through it. Although it must also be nice having a sister who understand everything.
Wishing you all the best
Tom 
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I’m 54 so not classed as a young widow
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Feels a bit insulting to not be able to join a group based on age and not the actual content!!
We are definitely still young 
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Lilly\R
Apparently shouting at a dead husband/wife or partner for leaving you (even though you know on a rational level that they had no choice), can be a normal part of grieving, so don’t beat yourself up over it.
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Buddhabelly
You are a much younger widow than me. I’m 77, and will be 78 next month.
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Even if you have someone to go on holiday with it wouldn’t be the same as going with your partner. I’m not as bothered about holidays but really miss going for lunch with him. Going with friends s just not the same. I’m six months down the grief path now. Just not doing well.
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Hi Helen
I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. I lost my husband in July, we had been together for 43 years and he died very suddenly. Like you, we had no children and didn’t have a huge social circle.
I know how you are feeling today and won’t tell you that there is any miracle cure on the horizon. The utter despair and hopelessness is very real.
Nine months on, I’m slowly starting to try and build some sort of new life for myself. I’ve just started volunteering with a local charity and have met some really warm and genuine people through that. I’m also going to an aqua aerobics class once a week - that took a lot of courage but it really lifts my mood.
Nothing will take away the overwhelming feelings of loss, and I still spend many hours crying, but taking little baby steps are helping me realise that you can carry on - it’s just a different future to the one you thought you were going to have. Getting through the next few weeks and months will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but you can do it.
Thinking of you xx
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I am very near to the 6 month period since my wonderful husband passed away.
I am again thrust into the midst of this grief storm feeling very tearful and strangely unsettled today.
Today has been very much a rollercoaster.
I had thought I had been coasting along reasonably well, tears falling at the most unexpected times however trying to move forward in this new life we have been faced with.
Seems another stage of this grief has now made its presence.
I send my love to you all and will then positivity I do know we WILL get there - just be prepared for the peaks and troughs
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Hi Fiona , I’m sorry to hear about your husband. My wife died on Christmas day after two years of cancer treatments. We would have been married for forty years this March past. This site has many lovely people all suffering at different stages of grief. I hope you find some solace here as it has help me being able to talk to people who understand just how difficult it is.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hi Claudie I’m sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. Sometimes for no obvious reason things just seem to get difficult as if a storm is rolling in which leads to despair. I hope it passes soon and doesn’t cause too much grief.
Wishing you all the strength you need
All the best
Tom
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Brandon1
Thankyou - today is just another day on this journey without our loved ones.
I know I will be ok, not every day is a dark day, I cannot let my husband down he would want me to be strong.
Strength to you too - take care
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Hi Claudie it’s important to keep positive. I try to appreciate how lucky I have been. I couldn’t have asked for more love in my life I was fortunate to have been married for almost 40 years with a lovely woman. So many people aren’t so lucky
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Thank you Fiona, never thought I could feel such despair. I was always so happy with Norman. I am so scared of the future now, the way people describe it sounds so sad, a new normal carrying the grief around till I die. You`ve done really well to get where you are now. Thank you for caring. xx
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Thanks Tom. I’m so sorry that you lost your lovely wife on Christmas Day, and just before your 40th anniversary too.
My husband died 6 weeks after his 60th birthday and 6 weeks before our 40th anniversary. He was the love of my life and had been since we were teenagers. Even now I still can’t believe that I’ll never see him again. I wasn’t with him when he died and I carry a lot of guilt over that sadly.
We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other every day and hope that, in time, we can find a way to live with the loss I suppose.
Thinking of you
Fiona x
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Thanks for your kind words - I don’t feel like I’m doing well but when I think back a few months I can see I am making slow progress. You will get through this Helen but I know that sounds like an impossibility now.
I have got two very dear friends who have helped me get to this stage, but neither of them can fully understand how this feels. We’re members of a club that we didn’t ask to join.
I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you strength to get through each day as it comes.
Fiona xx
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The only release I get from the unbearable grief is reading other peoples posts, and realising I`m not alone in this living hell. xx
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Hi Fiona, my husband died suddently just 2 months after his 60th birthday, on the 28th of Feb. We had been together since we were both 24. I can’t imagine life without him. Not even sure how to face the future
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Hi Fiona, I saw my pretty wife walking past me in a street London where I was working and that was that, I followed her to her home in Spain and have lived here ever since. I was 18 but I lied and told her I was 19 as she was a year older than me of course I had to come clean (which terrified me as I didn’t want to lose her)but by then she had taken the bait.
I’m sure you shouldn’t feel guilty Fiona your love wouldn’t want that would he.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hi Anita I hope you are feeling better this evening and I hope have a peaceful night
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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