Afraid not, they auto delete them after a period of time, which I didn’t realise.
They dont delete them on WhatsApp, thats what I use to text my husband and ive still got all his messages
Yes lovely day these are the days you miss them.walk in the park. Then a drink in the cafe.so many nice memories of my wife .they will never leave my brain. Xxx
Yes agree with you .spring is nice and the weather getting better. Walks in the parks. Not any more lots of nice memories xxxx
Well i did go out and tidy the garden for about 2hours. Wish i hadn’t i’ve been crying for John since i came in. Xxx
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Snap. Forced myself to get outside for a couple of hours helping my neighbours in tbeir garden. I’ve been back inside for 10 minutes and feeling sick and very tearful already.
I pre-empted that happening and copied every voicemail my wife had left me onto my phone and then onto a memory stick. She’s moaning on a fair few but it’s lovely hearing her voice whenever I want to.
Fully understand where you are coming from, life seems pointless when you lose the love of your life. I try to get out and about as much as I can, the sadness follows me all the time. Yesterday I went to The Range to look round and just felt so lonely and worthless and wondered if anyone else felt this way. Why should I feel so worthless? I’m dreading the summer without my husband he used to love sitting out on our patio and doing bbqs 
. The thought of getting the garden furniture saddens me, I bought an egg chair last year which my husband loved to sit in …the thought of seeing that on the patio without him being there is so very sad. I try not to look to the future as all our plans have been shattered. So so miss my dearest Col 
Yes, the pointlessness of everything. I have realised today, I am grieving for the life we had together and the life we lost together, and the future we lost together as well as grieving for my beloved husband. I am grieving for him, us and me in that order and feeling the added torture of guilt from all of this selfish self indulgence.
Please don’t torture yourself, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Your suffering is neither selfish nor self-indulgent - it’s the terrible price we pay for having loved and been loved so deeply.
Hi Pooka
I feel the same. I’m 57 and my husband would have been 60 next week. We has great plans for the future… he was a real schemer- always thinking about the next little project! So I feel totally robbed of our lovely exciting future together… its just been cancelled
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I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, and everyone who brings to this unenviable forum. I always felt blessed that I never felt lonely but now I realise, my loneliness is just for him. Trying to separate grief from loneliness but it might be one and the same. If he was back this instant, I would require/need no one. He was my life. I was his life. We were eachothers life
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Thank you for your validation
Thats the common thread here I think, loneliness and future plans literally vanishing. My wife and I did so much together so when that’s snatched away it just leaves a vast, empty space…
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I was married for 53yrs. The last 17 after retirement we were together all day everyday so the black hole just keeps getting deeper as i discover all the things i can’t do. I’m physically not strong enough so do i just leave everything to go to rack and ruin. I’m not sure if i can afford window cleaners and gardeners to help. What do other people living on their own do.??
I can do pretty much everything I need to do- except care. Without my beloved wife there’s simply no point in anything any more.
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That’s exactly how i feel i pray that I won’t live to long can’t face the thought of potentially fifteen years on my own nothing to look forward to except loneliness
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I suffer from kidney disease and now im hoping they pack up, im not living anymore anyway, just existing now waiting for the day to join him again.
Like you say I don’t want to live all these years ahead alone.
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I know how you feel about kidney disease i have it .my wife passed away with the disease. But the wife would not want be to join just yet.it is very hard living on my own i have never been on my for all life. I do not know how i am going to on with life without her. My family keep saying to carry but it is very hard. Xxxx
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@Poppet1973 I’m so sorry you are feeling like that and I send hugs your way. I’m sure you’re partner would not want you to join him right now and he’d be willing you on to keep going and live your life to the full as best you can, life is so precious. It’s still very early days for you right now and hopefully time will ease all these feelings for you a bit, take one day at a time and take care x
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