Partner of thirty years, unexpected death

What a good start not x

I’ve hit rock bottom again, just spent the last few days crying. Was supposed to meet a friend for lunch today and have just cancelled even though I was looking forward to seeing her. Was supposed to see family on Friday and have cancelled that too,
I just want to be left alone and hopefully will bounce back again. I am saddened some friends and family haven’t been in contact,
I guess they think I’m coping, how wrong can they be. I really can’t bare the thought of my future without my soulmate. Sorry to sound so very down, it all seems such a hopeless situation.

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So sorry for your loss
I lost my wife last September
5 months ago and i still am struggling to come to terms with it every day is just like the last dsy day .at least in 5 weeks or so i am being taken out for my birthday first one on my own .not looking forward to it
.i am in bereavement counciling which i hope helps
Going gor my 2nd one Wed
I am trying different things to get me though each day without her the family are helping a little bit xxx

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My late wife made some of her closest friends promise to keep an eye out for me and our boys when she had gone. Apart from a couple most haven’t bothered since her funeral. I just think that they are disrespecting her rather than me and although I do get upset about it, I also refuse to dwell on it. It just proves that she was a better person than they are.

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Bereavement counselling has definitely helped me. It brought out a lot of pent up emotion regarding my loss.

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Yes it is good .it is makings things a bit easy for me even after just 1 session. You can tell her things that you never tell family .because she makes you feel better .so i am looking forward to going to my next one which is Wednesday.

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I can identify with all you’ve said and my situation is very similar to yours. Have hit rock bottom again. Hopefully will bounce back again.

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Sly7867 i think people are afraid of death and grief they know that at some point it will be their turn and don’t want to witness our sorrow they don’t know what to say plus we are always going to be the odd one not a couple anymore it’s sad but unfortunately true

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My son wants me to go for counselling, I’ve said I spend enough time crying on my own, I don’t want to sit in front of a stranger crying.

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I feel your pain Eleanor my husband went out said see you later and that was the last time i heard his voice had a massive heart attack. Think to start with you are in shock i know i was it’s only later after the funeral that the reality of what it meant sunk in that this was now my life of emptiness and loneliness . Been five months now and feel slightly better go out as much as i can and try to keep busy hopefully one day this pain won’t be so raw x

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I hope you are able to attend a Medium session, if only once. I did take comfort from the message I received. Anything that helps to ease the pain is worth trying. Sending you best wishes and strength x

Dear Barbarap
Thank you for responding to my message. Yes, it’s shock - definitely. You fully expected your husband to come back home - as did I when he was taken to hospital. I feel empty and lonely too. I try to go out as and when needed and to go for a walk in the fresh air. When things settle down, I hope to join a book club and do other things to occupy myself. At the moment, I cant read a book or concentrate on watching TV. I just keep myself busy with what needs to be done. That’s about it. I send you my love x

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No need to apologise, I feel the same way, just want to give up, I can’t be bothered with anything anymore.

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The sheer unremitting torture of loss and longing

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It’s paralysing too. I want to get up, get out, do something, anything, but often can’t. Had booked to view a house in Ilkley this morning. got halfway but just couldn’t face it so I’ve had to apologise and reschedule.Then coming back to an empty house just makes me want to be sick.
10 weeks tomorrow, too soon to do anything ,I know,…

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Got some good news today. Going to see my cousin
Haven’t seen her for 2 years as we have both been busy .that cheered me up .

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One thing i learned from group counselling…everyone handles grief differently. Nobody can say if there’s a right or wrong way to act when you’re grieving. Especially those who have never experienced the loss of a beloved partner. The 2 steps forward 1 step back cliche is mostly true. I have just had a run of days without breaking down, then today I was going through old photographs of mostly my late wife and the day went to pot. I have been crying most of it, realising yet again just how huge a loss she has been. Devastating doesn’t begin to describe it. Hopefully tomorrow will see an improvement. But these things are going to sideswipe all of us for the rest of our lives.

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I think bereavement councillors can help go on with an open mind .and ask questions and listen to what the . I have had 1 another on wed i think it is helping me a bit xxx

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Eleanor3 it’s strange i used to do a lot of reading but like you I can’t seem to concentrate since Chris died. I have started volunteering at a charity shop two mornings a week it has helped seeing people and talking to them though i must say it does hit me like a sledgehammer when i come home feel good till iwalk through the door then the loneliness hits me . If i had to give people advice i would say except every invitation that comes your way get out as much as you can it definitely helps me x

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Im so sorry for your loss, i came home from work 5th January 2 mths 1 week and 1 day ago today to find my husband had passed he was 51 on the16th november 2024, its hurts all the time we were together for almost 27 years each day is a struggle its hard when people message to see how im doing how do you respond, everyday every night is so hard another day tomorrow x

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