So sorry. That. Must have been awful horrible for you so sorry .i was with my wife the dr came told to go out come back in 5 mins
After about 2 mins the alarm whent off .my wife had a massive heart attack. But was not i for that she went in for kidney problems .so i cpuld not say goodbye .xxx
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I have exactly the same thoughts i see couples out and about chatting sharing a joke and i think why me why did i have to lose the love of my life my soulmate? it’s so unfair , then i feel ashamed for begrudging others the happiness i once had 
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I told someone off at work the other day. They were moaning about their wife. I told him to be grateful that he’s still got one.
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Tonight i am struggling to get over the loss of my wife even though it is 5 months which has just flew by.i am just here thinking how am i going to fet over this. Xx
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Thats what im asking i dont want to do this i want to rewind time and go back to what we had before life became so hard another night and start again tomorrow keep going on xx
I am still looking for the rewinding button .i can not find it .all i want is a good nites sleep xx
I am really sorry for your loss, I did try to resuscitate Mark, but I knew in my heart that it was too late, but I feel so much guilt for not being with him when it happened, was he scared, I will never know the answer, I pray that he didn’t suffer, and that it was a peaceful passing .
Sending my love to you xx
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Sleep? To sleep well its feels like a past life sadly cant remember the last night i slept ok x
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My last full nite last year sometime. Make a change if i get a full nite tonite goodnite xx
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I am so sorry that you lost your husband and are on this site. I lost my husband 2 years ago unexpectedly and suddenly. He was 53 years old. I got a phone call from our son to say that my husband had collapsed and was sitting up. Time I got home he had died, I did CPR on him as no ambulance yet. The paramedics arrived and worked on my husband for 45 mins. My husband had died from a large saddle pulmonary embolism and kidney cancer which was a shock as he was working the day before, we didn’t know that he had cancer.
You will be in shock and numb, I was diagnosed with PTSD. The first year I can’t really remember much, this second year seemed harder as the reality is starting to kick in however I can function much better and the waves don’t long as long. I still get triggers and see life as so cruel and unfair that my husband had to die and you get horrible people walking round. I keep myself busy and have been away with a group of people that I have met on here a few times which has been a life saver.
Take one day at a time and don’t look into the future as we can’t control the future like we couldn’t control the past. I see grief as a constant companion, one day she is gentle with you and other days she comes to you like a roaring volcano. Take care and big hugs xx
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Thank you so much for your kind words, and I am very sorry for your loss.
I am glad things are a little bit easier for you now, like you say, I am in shock at the moment, just trying to survive each day, but hurting so much.
It all seems so surreal, I just cannot believe that just over two months ago we were away on holiday, now I am without him and scared, I miss him every moment, the house is just not the same any more.
I’m afraid that I relied on him so much, now its a stark reminder of everything he did for us, I am overwhelmed by it all.
Many thanks for the advice, I send you my love xx
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Thank you for your reply…yes you will be scared as you have got a new life which you didn’t ask for. Life is so unfair and cruel. We had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We all have got a journey without a destination. I keep myself busy filling my time to get through as I miss my husband terribly and the future we should have had. Definitely been robbed. My son is in his early twenties so I can’t do anything silly as he has suffered enough. You are doing the right thing by reaching out here as people get it. Scream when you want, cry and keep talking baby steps. Lots of love Xx
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Good afternoon every one.another day no wife hope you all have a good day .today i might go shopping it is still hard doing it without my wife. Xx
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Just been out for lunch with my two sister inlaws had a job to hold it together while we were out they were talking about what they would be doing at the weekend with their husbands, when i came home to my empty house I cried my eyes out they have everything i want but will never have again 
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So sorry for the loss .iknow it is hard same as you go out with sister in laws. And then come home to an empty house it is horrible. I am still not used to it even after 5 months. Xxx
Been to my 2nd grief counselling session this morning, I did some more talking and crying. I don’t know if its helping as still feel the same, she told me its understandable as its only been 15 weeks.
Now I’m feeling just the same as before I went. Ive made an appointment to see our GP again see if he can help me.
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Popet1973 my husband died five months ago i had to go to dr couldn’t eat lost two stones couldn’t sleep put me on antidepressants they have helped me to eat and sleep but not with the depression, but I guess that’s grief i’ll have one day when I don’t feel too bad then the next day i’ll cry off and on all day
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Yes me too, I eat now and sleep but like you said its the depression, ive hit rock bottom lately and just want to give up.
I was put on sertraline antidepressant they are supposed to calm you down help sleeping and also help with eating .well they are not working on me x
Im on mirtazipine, all they do is help me sleep