Partner of thirty years, unexpected death

Goodmorning all hope we have a good day
Wow i had a great sleep last night lets hope today id a good one xx

How are you doing today, hope you have a good day.

Today i am not bad. I had a good sleep must have been the new bedding,it was a good night. Today i am going out .i need some bit.how are you
Xx

Im ok, had a cry this morning, lets see how the rest of the day goes x

Sorry .i know what you are going through. It is horrible. I am trying to adjust to a type of type of different life now .butbi can .just miss her my rock .xx

I raised 9 official complaints. Took months but I finally got my NHS meeting in which I got many apologies for the mistakes they made, and promises of changes that would be made to procedure. My local MSP and councillor are both on the case to ensure that these aren’t empty promises. It doesn’t bring Sylvia back but it’s what she wanted me to do.
On another note, I obviously miss her as much as anyone else here misses their loved one. With that in mind a couple of weeks ago I dug out our damaged DVD of our wedding. It hadn’t been able to play for well over 10 years. I took it to various specialists who all told me the data was irretrievable. Then I tried a tiny data retrieval expert in the middle of Edinburgh who, amazingly, after trying various programs, finally managed to retrieve it! I’ll be forever grateful to him. I sat down with my 2 cats last night and watched it from start to finish, crying my eyes out. Simply not believing that the beautiful, vivacious, full of personality and life woman is no longer here with me. But at least I finally have a working copy and that’s worth so much to me. (Yes, I have made further copies!).

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Yes, I promised my husband in the hospital that I would do the complaint.

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Hiya all back from shopping that was very hard. On way home i was nearly crying in the car.shopping is very hard for me xx

Thanks for info last nite i had a good 1st one in a long time .hope you are good xx

I thought i was doing so well but yesterday the sewing machine broke. I couldn t get some of the screws out to fix it. I had some what of a melt down brcause John wasn t here to fix it in a couple of minutes like he normally would. I later received avideo of my grand daughter trying on prom dresses

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Which John will never see or find out if she goes to university or not. I kept a piece of hair and was going to get it made into jewellery. Now i’m doubting myself because if i do that i won’t be able to touch it because it will be in resin. I can’t make decisions anymore. And am back where i started as there so many things i’ll have to do alone. Xxx

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Yewtree i had same experience yesterday the batteries in my heating thermostat went i tried for ages but couldn’t see how to replace them like you i had a total meltdown things i’ve never even thought about before now are such worries, i did mow the lawn that’s something i never did before. Life is so different now and so lonely sending love x

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I keep a lock of my wife’s jar in a small velvet bag so I can take it out every now and then. It’s very comforting at times and also very personal.

I seem to have lost all my incentive to try again. I don’t want to go on like this so miserable. It’s my eldest son’s birthday today so I’ll have to try for him. He has been such a big help and got me through so much . But I feel back at square one. John used enjoy taking birthday photos but he’s not here and I’m lost again. Wishing you all the courage to go on. :kissing_heart: xx

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Just back from the shop and all the staff asking me how am i doing, started to cry .then some of the staff gave me a hug that was nice. I am not coping at the moment even after 5 months just miss her so Much she was my rock .

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I think its a case of one step forward and five steps back for me.Its like climbing out of a dark deep hole and just when you see a chink of light-your feet slip and you’re plunged back deep inside the black hole again.Its exhausting climbing back again and again.

Sorry for your loss i know what you are going through. Horrible i am nearly 6 Months since my wife passed away .still not very nice x

I understand your loss and trying to move forward. I don’t think there is really any help out there. You try and try but it doesn’t go anywhere . The slightest thing can knock you back and crying only makes you feel worse and give you a headache. Today has been particularly bad. When John came in to see me after my son was born. He was wearing dark glasses and didn’t speak as his jaws were wired together due to a serious industrial accident a few weeks before. You can image the fun the whole ward trying to see why he was incognito. Even though I couldn’t see much of his face he was so happy having a son our first child. Now I have no one to relive those times with . BACK TO THE BEGINNING AGAIN. much love to fellow grieves xxx

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I had one bright spot this week. I hadn’t watched our wedding video for over 10 years due to the only copy being damaged. It was on a DVD. Nobody had been able to retrieve it. I honestly thought I’d never see it again. Luckily a teccy expert in the middle of Edinburgh managed to extract a working copy last week. I sat and watched it on Friday and cried from start to finish. Sylvia was so happy that day it was infectious and I actually cried with happy memories.

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That was nice glad you sorted the video out

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