@ Sly7867
What a nice story-Thanks for sharing that with us.
1 Like
I had to go to my son’s father in-laws funeral today to the same crematorium i said good bye to my husband five months ago it was so hard holding it together but somehow i got through it but when I got home I really didn’t want to go in I couldn’t face being on my own. Went round my daughters in the end she lives ten minutes down the road had a cup of tea with her then i came home. Been watching tv but cant seem to concentrate on anything i feel as if i’ve gone backwards to after Chris’s funeral i just can’t bare being alone but somehow i know i’ve got to get used to it 
4 Likes
I know how you feel, its the night times that are the worst, the silence is horrible
1 Like
You’re right, Poppet, the nighttime, when it’s dark and he is not by your side in bed, are excruciating, I cry myself to sleep every night, it’s not getting any easier, I miss him more every day, my heart is hurting so much .
5 Likes
Yes night time is horrible
I don’t think i will ever get used to being on my own sitting alone every evening going to bed every night and never having anyone to give you a hug and tell you everything will be alright the thought of living like this for the rest of my life is unbearable i just hope it’s not a long life
2 Likes
It is hard i know same as you sitting all alone watching crappy tv.
Well i am off to bed goodnight all xx
2 Likes
There’s no comfort in knowing that we all feel pretty much the same about this. There’s no comfort in going to bed anymore.
I can’t imagine finding someone else, i was no good at the dating shenanigans before Hazel and at 69 years old, it seems likely I’ll be on my own.
I had a great weekend, but today i feel like I’m paying for it.
Oh well. Goodnight
2 Likes
Well. I woke up very low looking for a reason to get up. I could feed the birds and the fish or tidy garden and house but I don’t want to do anything but stay in bed pretending I’m not alone. I think I,ll get up at 9 then it drifts to 10. I finally get up at around 10.30 or 11am then have my tablets and do nothing. Wonder if restarting papers would help. The fact is idon’t want to do anything so I don’t I just sit on the couch looking on the floor. I. Often wish I was dead with John but I couldn’t put the boys through that. They are just starting to recover a bit. I’ve always suffered from depression but I don’t want to change tablets in case I go too low while I change over even though the ones I’m taking don’t see to help now. Sorry but I don’t feel any improvement in the last 5months. I,ll try and keep going. But one question. WHY???
3 Likes
I know how you feel .i got up late keep on saying why get up.just laying there .but i knew i had to get eventually.
As I said earlier WHY do we have to get up. ? I live alone there’s only me to worry about. Who cares if the dishes are piled up in the sink. Or the floor wants hoovering or the clothes need washing. Nothing I do can bring John back. He would be disappointed in me if he could see the dust but he’s not here is he. I’ve always thought dusting. Is one of the most unnecessary jobs. It always comes back again. Xx
1 Like
As i also why get why do the floor etc:. No body is gonna see them x
1 Like
I have to go out get some petrol and some bits and bobs chat later if you wanna. Xx
My why is because I have 2 cats my wife loved who depend on me! Theyre the last living connection in my flat to Sylvia. She’d never forgive me if she was alive if anything happened to them!
Same i’ve two dogs my reason for getting up otherwise can’t see the point life stretches ahead into enormous black hole can’t see any light at the end of it
I ask the same question.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this, we were supposed to grow old together.
I keep asking him, why he left me alone like thi. How are i supposed to carry on without him.
Its 4 months on 23rd since he left me and broke my heart, its going so fast, in a way its a good thing, one less day without him another day closer to be with him again.
3 Likes
Just went to the sea front trying to clear my head after yesterday hope we arre all good today
I believe i couldn’t see rhyme nor reason at 3,4,5 months in, to why i was carrying on or doing housework &then felt guilty.Its good and perfectly reasonable to do nothing and sit looking into space/ the floor etc.Its you giving in to the exhaustion ,the emotions, the gravity of just how much your world has been turned upside down and ripped inside out.
Now im 9 months in and whilst i have days like that still, ive adjusted to accepting that if my days consist of not getting up handy, of reading a book ,watching tv or doing nothing then im giving myself permission to do just that.
Be kind to yourselves, do what you want when you want.
3 Likes
It’s 5 months since I lost my husband but seems more like 5 years. I’ve never experienced such pain and loneliness since he passed, miss him so much. Had times when I just couldn’t believe he’s gone. We were so enjoying our retirement together had so many plans, now i feel my future has gone. Everything seems pointless without him here. I’ve had so many meltdowns and cried so many tears. I try to get out and about and see friends and family as much as possible to get away from the silence of my home. Also walk my dog for an hour every morning, so glad I have her for company. I try not to look into the future as this upsets me so knowing he won’t be here. I’ve read where you never get over losing someone so close but just learn to live with it …I’m at the beginning of that awful journey.
4 Likes