Hope your head is okay x
Yes it is not so bad. Now little bit of pain going to bedin5 mins
Goodnight x
The days feel longer and lonelier for us, yet the sun brings out lots of people, many of them happy and smiling, oblivious to our pain and suffering. I hate the world. I was told in the beginning by imbeciles who have no idea, (I realise they meant well) that things will get better. I am struggling to believe that as I am hanging on by a thread trying to not fall down that black hole. I put a request through to my GP yesterday, as i feel I may need help. I have been in a terrible place mentally and so I was honest and when I read it back to myself I cried at my trauma and in disbelief that this is my life. I received a response today with a telephone appointment for the 31st March. I could be dead by then for all they know. I’m sick of being so exhausted. Sending love, I’m sorry for venting.
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Our GP system is an utter shambles nowadays. It has never recovered since covid tbh. When my wife first started noticing her pain was increasing, our GP just kept fobbing her off with extra painkillers. My wife thought it was her fibro. She couldn’t get to see a GP for love nor money. By the time the pain had got unbearable it was too late. She finally got to see a practice nurse who sent her straight to the hospital where 5 days later we found out she had cancer. This country is on it’s knees and absolutely nothing is being done about it.
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GPS blame fibro for everything. I too, suffer from fibromyalgia and I swear if my arm happened to turn green my GP would blame it.
I am so sorry about the loss of your lovely lady…
Your right about the NHS
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So true the awful pain you feel with grief is the price you pay for love. The deeper the love the deeper the pain. 5 months now since my husband passed and the pain deepens; the loneliness I feel is unbearable. Also find friends and family aren’t there for me so much as at the beginning, some who’ve not been through this ideal probably think I’ve recovered. My best friend tells me to keep busy and out and about as much as possible and doesn’t contact me as much as I would like. I realise some people don’t know how to cope with a friend’s loss, but am saddened by this best friend not being there for me at what is the worst most painful time of my life. Anyone else experiencing this?
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Definitely Maisie. My wife had, who I thought were close friends, and I’ve heard absolutely nothing from them. It’s a couple whom we visited on many occasions. Our twin boyscwere in their house many times and our oldest son even worked for them. Sylvia passed away nearly 7 months ago and apart from one initial sympathy message I haven’t heard anything from them. They do that really annoying thing where they ask others how I’m getting on but don’t approach me directly. I get quite angry about it tbh. Maybe I’m being unfair but I can’t help it. They’re not the only ones btw.
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It is hurtful but I guess not intentional. The friend I’m referring to is my closet friend of over 40 years. Last time I saw or heard from her was 3 weeks ago. In the age of texts etc, when it would take two mins to send a message, I’ve heard nothing…3 weeks when feeling so lonely is a long time. I’m sure if the tables were turned I would be her constant support. I am lucky in that I have two wonderful caring sons and other friends but the one friend I felt I could rely on hasn’t been there for me. She knows how devastated I was when my husband died (suddenly and totally unexpected) and how very close I was to him. May be she wasn’t the close friend I believed her to be. Also unless you’ve experienced such a huge loss and left to live alone may be you just don’t understand how heart wrenching your loss is. Just wondered if anyone has experienced the lack of contact/support from a close friend. May be I am expecting too much???
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I’m there with you on that. The only friends I’ve had reach out are from Chelmsford. Noone else is bothered. It really hurts doesn’t it.
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I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad, and cannot get the help you need. Unless people have experienced the pain of losing someone they love so much, they really cannot truly understand our grief.
I really hope you find the help and comfort you need.
Sending you my love xx
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Yes it does …she tells me to keep busy and get out and about which I do …if only that was that easy and the answer …she doesn’t realise the pain, loneliness, anxiety etc follows you where ever and what ever you do …I’ve never experienced anything like it, I’m 68 and lost both parents and a brother, all very painful but not like losing a soulmate and your future. Sending you hugs 
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Aftet the funeral ive not heard anything from Marks side, I have a friend who is here for me where we live, she never met him.
I don’t like dumping on her as she has still got her husband x
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JD five months since my husband died suddenly i was a mess couldn’t sleep or eat i lost two stone my sister in law persuaded me to go to gp she came with me, i cried through the whole appointment he gave me antidepressants called martazipine they increase appetite and help you to sleep. I do eat and sleep better but they haven’t helped with the depression probably because it’s grief. Nothing will help with that and the loneliness is the worst . I’ve got good friends and relations all were brilliant at first but have gradually dropped off seeing me so much. My husbands best friend who was with him when he collapsed and died hasn’t been in touch since the funeral, i find that really hurtful . Sending hugs x
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Ive just come back from the doctors and he has doubled my dose of mirtazipine to two tablets a day, so let’s see how it goes x
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Thank you for your replies my husband’s best friends have not been near my door either. They don’t call, text, visit. It really does hurt, I feel like everyone has just forgotten about my best friend and they clearly have no interest in me or our children. I just don’t understand. My husband was killed at work, there is an ongoing investigation and his best friend still works there over a year later and even took his job as manager. I’m done, tapped out. I find you all such a comfort, I wish we all lived closer. Sending love to you all today.
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You are not alone on here x
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I hope they help 
its such a vile place to stay in. Love and hugs
Hope you are alright poppit
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Yes, just been feeling like I want to give up and ive hit rock bottom x