Thank you, I send my heartfelt love to you xx
As if life isn’t hard enough at the best of times. For this to happen at the eorst of times is beyond comprehension…
I can only hope you find somewhere you can begin to heal as soon as possible.
I’m thinking of you x
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We had to do the same Flints. In a matter of weeks I went from a loving, stable family home. 3 adults in a 3 bedroom rented detached to a 1 bedroom flat on my own. My wife was actually more worried about how me and our son would cope after she had gone than what was happening to her. We asdured her we’d be okay and we are as far as having roofs over our heads. I still cried my eyes out when I had to leave the home we had lived in for over 6 years.
It’s so awful, isn’t it? Your whole life changed in an instant, and whilst grieving, you still have to negotiate your way around all of the other things that happen when your partner passes.
I send you my condolences, and love, I feel your pain xx
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pHS m3. I know people will think I’m strange but memories do not make me happy. When I think of the lovely and happy times we had. I feel so very sad that we won’t be making any more. I’ve been a bit off colour so apologies for not replying to kind posts. I send my sympathy and love to everyone. I wish I believed in God so I could think John was in a nice place and happy….but i don’t . He’s not walking beside me or looking over me. He’s gone. Leaving a huge hole I can’t fill. I just exist now lying in bed as long as I can so I don’t have to get up and face the empty silent house. Sorry for being so negative but I have tried to be positive but it doesn’t work. Xxx
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Yewtree reading this, is exactly how im feeling everyday
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I too, am feeling like that most days xx
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I feel life would go on for others but not for me. It’s not the loneliness that gets me but the emptiness. John helped so much we shared jobs but now there’s dishes needing attention that I’ve forgotten about so around midnight I’m washing up. I. Still feel exactly the same there isn’t any light at the end of the tunnel. Merely more. Blackness. Sorry I know I’m not helping but can’t see a way out of my misery. Xxx
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I know exactly how you are feeling, I try to hide it from my two youngest who live with me, but I feel like I am suffocating, I want my husband with me, I miss him so much, and don’t want to live the rest of my life feeling like this. I feel like I’m in a trance, and every day, I just cry and cry.
Mark was such a lovely person, and it’s so hard to envisage a life without him.
You are not alone, there are so many who feel like you do.
I send you my heartfelt sympathy.
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Thank you. It’s good to know there’s others who feel like me. Part of my problem is living with John for 53 yrs . Suddenly he’s gone. I don’t feel like looking ahead because there’s nothing there for me. We’ve lived in this house for 48 yrs and I don’t want to change it now. So I’ll just exist here for a couple of years alone. Xxx
That’s such a long time to be together, I can feel your pain.
I send you my love, and pray that things will get easier for you xx
It’s heart breaking to see how very sad and unhappy you are it must be very hard to try and keep it from your children .people do try to help by saying positive things. They don’t understand words no matter how well meant don’t help. I think your biggest help in the future will be your children they have a certain resilience we do not have and will try to make you happier. Don’t expect much of yourself for quite a while just let the tears wash away a little bit of the sadness everyday. I’m so sorry for you but in time things will improve. They have to! Xxxx
I am constantly being told to try and accept my new normal…but it isn’t normal. There’s no one here John has gone. I can never accept this loneliness as normal. How do I deal with this does anyone know.
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Its hard isn’t it, the house is empty and quiet and waking up wishing it was just a dream.
Now im not living im just existing waiting for the day I can be with him again
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Yewtree and Poppet - I’m there too. Actually had visitors for a couple of ours and spent half the time thinking how bad it’d be when they left.
I’m worse than ever now and would very happily close my eyes and give up now.
No way to live our lives is it…
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Today I paid for Marks funeral, it was heartbreaking, knowing it was all real, they mentioned collection of his ashes, how that hurts, my lovely man is now ashes, it’s unbearable, It’s all too hard for me to comprehend, here one minute, and suddenly gone, I just cannot stop crying, I really don’t know how people manage to get through it all.
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I understand how unbelievable it is. That person you loved so much is now just ashes. John is still in the box the crem. put him in. I cannot face even looking at photos of him as his happy smiling face is not here anymore so I’ve turned his photos to the wall. It’s been four months now and I still have his pillow on the bed . I sleep on my half. In case he comes back, silly really but I can’t face the future without him. Even if I only have a few years left. Xx
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It’s not silly, it’s grief. You are hurting badly, your life has been turned upside down, your allowed your feelings. I still have my Dave’s pillow on the bed on his half and I still sleep on mine and I’m almost 12 months in. Pictures can really hurt, I fluctuate with my response to them. I didn’t collect my husbands ashes, nor did I place him in the urn, I just couldn’t face it, I wanted to just run away or die. My 2 adult children keep me here and thankfully they still live at home, I’ve practically been dropped by everyone else. But hey ho. We do what we do to keep moving. You’ve got this. The pain is disgusting but you will grow around it. Love and hugs xx
To all of you all I can say is that it DOES get better but unfortunately it’s only time that can do it. I’m now 6 months in since the love of my life died. Even though she only lasted 7 weeks from diagnosis to passing, she made sure everything from her funeral to her cremation and her wake were all organised and bought and paid for. She was the strongest person I have ever known. I have found strength from the inspiration she gave me. I think that if she could show such immense courage knowing she was dying, then I owe it to her to respect her memory and also carry on with life as she wanted me to. Therefore I made sure her funeral went exactly as she planned it, I also collected and scattered her ashes exactly where she wanted them scattering. I also sleep my side of the bed with her pillow still in place. However, I have several photos of her on display as they cheer me up as well as several ‘happy’ boxes. I keep a list of happy memories on my phone to push away the bad ones. I’ve also got a small amount of her ashes to scatter in other places she loved. The bad memories are slowly turning into snapshots rather than distressing memories. I will always love and miss her with every fibre of my being, but I also know she wanted me to have a life. Would your partners want you to be unhappy? Of course not.
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It’s the same for me, photos of him make me feel so sad, he was always smiling and looked younger than his age, it’s unbearable to look at them.
I sleep holding the necklace I bought him many years ago, which he never took off, we did everything together, the future without him here is going to be so hard.
You are not alone , there are so many of us who can feel your pain, I send you much love xx