@ Blondie58
I feel exactly how you have described you feel.
Thank you for posting-makes me feel 'normal ’ and like im not going crazy.
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I am really struggling today.
51 weeks ago today my wonderful husband died suddenly and unexpectedly sitting next to me.
I am sure that people who have not gone through this, think that it is nearly a year so most of the firsts are over and I will soon move on.
They have no idea.
Thank you for letting me share xx
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Sadly you’re so right. People who’ve been lucky enough to so far avoid where we are simply don’t understand. Much as they think they do, they don’t. As you say, they have no idea.
I’m only 7 weeks in but I’ve already had too many firsts. Every week brings something up. I’ve done Valentine’s Day ( most people scoff but it did mean something, even if it was just an excuse to treat ourselves) which was hard enough, now I face her birthday next Saturday which I’m absolutely dreading.
I can’t find the words to describe how I feel.
I certainly can’t find the words to describe how you must be feeling right now. Each hour the clock inches nearer must be agony…
You will get through it though. Know that, awful as they’ve been, you’ve found a way through each day so far and you’ll get through this one coming too. You probably don’t feel you will, maybe even feel like you don’t want to get through it, but you will.
On behalf of us all on here, good luck.
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That is so kind and caring.
I am so sorry for all the firsts you have gone through and very sorry about Saturday.
I will think of you on Saturday.
Thank you so much x
I’ve been in France for 2 weeks. Of course the customs people always ask questions! “Did you have a nice holiday?” was today’s one. So I said I’d been busy with diy and it had been a very difficult fortnight as it was my first visit to my house since I lost my wife. He kindly offered condolences but that also stopped the questions!
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Even after 4months I still haven’t turned Johns photo. It still faces the wall. I’ve suffered from depression for years so it’s taken me a while to accept what has happened. The doc. Was going to change medication but I’m upset and concerned about coming off one before changing as new drug might make me worse, still sorting stuff from attic but a lot going in bin as it’s too hard to make decisions so I just throw everything out.as John isn’t here to help me anymore. Hope you are all feeling a little better than yesterday xx
I threw out very little as I was petrified that in a few months time I’d go looking for something that had a meaning for both of us, then realise I’d binned it. I distributed some stuff among our kids then kept other possessions in so called ‘happy boxes’. Maybe in the future I’ll be in a better place to make that sort of decision.
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I know I should try to move on but I can’t as you so suppose something important is accidentally thrown away. I’ve got stuff from boys school days that I’ve kept for nearly 50yrs. I don’t know how to make myself happier by looking at nice photos. I just make myself sadder when I realise those happy times will never happen again. I really don’t know what to do now. Xx
All I seem to do is move things from one pile to another - can’t make up my mind at all. Doesn’t matter when we do things though does it? Only when we feel like it.
I haven’t got rid of anything, his toothbrush is still in the bathroom, his coats and shoes are in the porch and all his clothes hanging in the wardrobes.
The only thing I got rid of is the old car that was sat in the front garden.
I’m the same, I don’t want to get rid of anything, it will not feel like home if Marks things are not here.
It’s always been the four of us for a long while, and the pain is too much to bear, without having to throw his possessions out.
I know everyone is different, but for now, things will stay the same
Love to you xx
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4 months is a very short time.
Try not to pressure on yourself, each one of us will take our own way and time.
Rose x
Feeling a bit down today . We’ve had to empty attic for new insulation to be put in. Loads of china from 1st china cabinet. Rugs from boy’s rooms when they were little. Books Ornaments . Souvenirs . Night lights Barbapapa and Donald Duck. Etc. does anyone have any idea how I get rid of these things.? Too nice to bin. But I don’t know if charities take that sort of thing. It seems pointless putting all the boxes back up again. Not looking forward to trying to sort out,. anyone any ideas. I can’t be bothered to put them in eBay as I’ll have to weigh things for postage costs and pack them all up. Xxx
Have you got a Freecycle group in your area? It’s online so try a search there and what you do is post items free like on eBay, but you’re not charging for the items, People are all local and collect items so no need to weight pack and send. That way you are not throwing them away and not having a huge amount of hassle either.
I donated a lot of stuff to local charity shops
You’d be amazed what charity shops do take. Might be worth ringing round and asking - though I understand that could feel pretty difficult.
I took a lot of boxes of books to my local Oxfam as they’ve actually got a book shop in Skipton.
I admire your strength and courage even trying to do it - I’d have cancelled the insulation for now!
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I sorted a lot of stuff out early doors as i knew i would just procrastinate. I had enough sense not to just chuck out lots of stuff though.
I really feel for you, I know how you feel, I send my love to you xx
Hello Flints, I have just lost my partner and share your pain. The advice I can give you is to take one day at a time you may have heard this before but for me it’s the only way I can cope. Be kind to yourself, don’t worry if you have bad days and maybe some days not so bad you may find your emotions are all over the place, I know mine are and that’s okay. You are not alone x
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Hello
Thank you for your message, there are so many of us on here feeling the same way, it feels comforting to know I am not alone.
I send you my condolences and love xx
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