@Kat1984
I’d like to think they are at peace where they should be.
Love
Karen xxx
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Hi lost lil, I have read all the above posts and feel compelled to answer, I lost my mum in November. Since then I have been regularly going to several Spiritualist Churches, but the one closest to me has been the best. My mum has come through to me twice now, I have been told things that only she and I knew. We only have to pay a donation to visit. I would encourage you to try it, even if it’s only once. If it’s not for you then no need to go again, but what have you to lose? One thing is you need to go with an open mind. It brings me great comfort to know she is still around me xxx
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I do desperately want to visit one but I know my head isn’t in the right place to just yet. I’m an emotional wreck. I’m only coming up to three weeks in and I’m just breaking down all the time. I think as soon as I can hold myself together to the point I could sit there and not start crying I will go to one. I do desperately want to believe.
I’ve been looking at some online ones, there’s one on Facebook who does readings for people who comment on their page and they give the readings to the people under their comments so everyone can read them. It did make me laugh because one lady asked for a reading and the medium was like oh I have a male here, he’s showing me a significance to Halloween, he died too soon etc… the lady was like yes that’s my son, his birthday is on the 31st October wow that’s amazing, I must admit I was like ohh ok so I looked at this ladies Facebook page to see what information she had made public and she actually had her sons funeral arrangements that included his birth and death dates on the front of the service card. Like seriously? I found that within a few minutes of scrolling.
I’d definitely like to go to a spiritualist church setting because they wouldn’t know me or have access to any information on Facebook etc. To be given a message that I could truly believe was off my OH would mean the absolute world to me, I honestly feel like a message or a sign off him is the only thing that’s going to help me get over this. People say oh you’ll see robins or white feathers but honestly I’ve seen plenty of robins and white feathers in my life, if he hadn’t died I know I would have come across more anyway so I don’t think the next robin I see will be him letting me know he’s ok. I need something that leaves me in no doubt that it’s him. I’m just praying for something soon 
I don’t really believe white feathers are a sign either but I can see how easy it is to wish they were after today. Today I went down his mams to look at a brochure for flowers to go ontop of his coffin, as you can imagine I was very emotional. We shouldn’t need to be picking out flowers! The only brochure we should have been looking through was holiday brochures together. Anyway as usual I sat and sobbed, we decided on some flowers and put the brochure down. I got up off the sofa to go make a coffee and when I got back there was a tiny white feather where I had been sitting. I didn’t tell anyone, I just put it in my pocket and sat down. Part of me was desperate to think it was a sign but then I thought there had been five other people in the house at the time, any of them could have placed that feather there for me to find or it could have come off them or their clothing somehow. Perhaps it fell out of the brochure from the florist because the last people to need funeral flowers put it in there thinking it would bring comfort to the next family (us). I did bring it home and I’ve wrapped it in kitchen roll and put it in my chest of draws. I can’t help but think if it really was a sign then why wouldn’t it have happened in the house we both shared together rather than down his mams? It was on my seat and nobody else supposedly saw it. I don’t know, I can completely see how easy it is to want to believe it’s a sign. I did say to him when I got home if that was your sign it’s not a very good one and told him anyone could have put it there so if it was then he needs to do better 
I think it’s far too easy to cling on to little things when you’re grieving. I’m still hoping for a sign that I can’t find any logical answer for though
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Awww @LostLil I’d be the same and Richard it had to be a better sign than that but I still keep some white feathers when I find them - not all of them I’d be able to stuff a pillow! 
Now I’d believe it was a sign of I started finding odd things in my handbag again as he used to do that when we were fest married. I’d go to work and reach in to it for a pen or something to find the oddest things he’d put in there for a joke - a spoon, a screwdriver, a coaster. One dayI thought it was feeling a bit heavy and when I looked a realised there was a wrench in there! He was always a practical joker. Made me laugh so often and boy do I miss that.
Love to you. It must have been such a hard day for you.
Karen xxx
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Haha, he sounds like a character My OH was also a massive joker. Teasing and winding people up was in his nature and I too deeply miss that.
We bought a treadmill last year because in the winter when the weather was awful we didn’t always have the motivation to go out walking. I was using it a few weeks ago and had the music on and he came by the side of it and started marching on the spot throwing his arms around taking the mick out of me, he was a bloody idiot sometimes I miss him so much and all the silly little things he would do. I’ve never known anyone as daft as him 
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Your post made me cry @Kat1984 . That feeling of living in a world where they no longer exist resonates so much, it’s so completely wrong. For about 3 seconds every morning my brain forgets, and then the reality hits like a ton of bricks again. At least I am not the only one
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It’s awful isn’t it? The world feels more scary now to me. I hope in time we feel better and learn to enjoy life again. Although at the minute it feels impossible. You’re definitely not alone xx
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Unremittingly awful unfortunately. Same here, I had so much confidence but now she is gone terrors seem to lurk in every decision. I hope there is healing, even though at the moment that does not seem possible. I wish I could fast forward a year, past some of this pain and suffering, and see if there is some restoration there. But the only way to get there is day by day, and that is so hard, although it is good to know others walk this hardest of roads as well. Thank you for your words of reassurance x
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Haven’t been on the chat for couple of days because my partner had a heart attack last week . Didnt think i would need to spends all thise hours in a hospital again after my daughter died in January. I feel so lost not being able to tslk to her about whats happening. I used to believe she would send me signs as she would joke about it but every time something strange happens i find myself trying to explain it as if im not wanting to believe its her but that doesnt make sense because i want a sign but then dismiss it .
Dear @Glesgalass such a terrible time for you, I hope your partner is making good progress? I am the same I see and hear strange things but I try and use logic as to what these things or coincidences may be. And yet I desperately want to have a sign my darling is with me and he is ok. I think none of this whole situation makes sense to us and its difficult to understand. A recent thread on this site mentioned recent research which identified that when we lose a significant person in our lives our neural networks in our brain are trying to make new pathways which is why we are confused, disorientated and exhausted. So no wonder things do not make sense to us and we maybe missing ‘signs’ our loved ones are near. Sending best wishes to you and your husband for a speedy recovery x
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Thanks Sandi x
Yes that article about your brain adjusting was very good wasnt it … im glad people have realised this xxx
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It was so helpful , @Deb5 it just explains so much
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Oh no, I hope your partner recovers quickly, as if you haven’t been through enough already. I really feel for you.
I too ask for signs that my partner is still around. I’m not entirely sure if I believe in anything after death or not but I really hope there’s something and that I’ll see him again. I don’t really see robins or white feathers as signs from our loved ones because I’ve seen plenty of robins and white feathers in my time and it’s only natural that I’d see more in the future even if my partner hadn’t died. I did find a tiny white feather on the sofa after I’d got up to make coffee and I would love to believe it was a sign off my OH but realistically there were other people there who could have quite easily put it there. I did take the feather home just incase but I know it wasn’t a sign. I need something obvious, something there is no logical explanation for. I’m hoping to visit a medium soon, I’m not sure I believe in that either but I’m definitely open minded and hopeful.
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I believe their spirit is around if you try and look for it …
Somebody once told me a long time ago that she believes your loved ones spirit is there until you are ready for it to leave you . I found some of my husbands paintings today 
wow it was like touching his little soul … made me cry !! 
i dont think they ever leave your heart when u love them so much … . i really dont. My aunty nellie lost her daughter at age 18 and you-know-what as she passed away … she shouted her name … she was going to her :). xx
It does it waa amazing really ! I never realised our brain had to work so hard to understand it all … like u say no wonder it leaves us exhausted !!!
My OH didn’t believe in anything after death at all, I’m desperate to believe there is. If there is I can just picture the absolute shock on his face when he realises. I also can’t imagine him communicating with a medium because he didn’t believe in that either, hopefully he had a few surprises
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Youll need to let me know how that went ,i want to go to a medium but not sure if i really believe in that ,am i just grasping for something thats not there ??
Was having an okay morning then one of my daughters friends messaged me to say she was thinking of me and wants to meet up . And then i remember how much EVERYONE is devastated and struggling with her not being here . Now im crying again as if i can feel everyones pain and am angry that shes not here . Not angry with her because she fought so hard but angry with someone/something, whatever /whoever decides your passing
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