Sadly solace eludes me. Sadness, well that’s a very different thing. No, we don’t spend every hour with our partners but I feel I ought to have given him more of my time than I did and this feeling will not ease right now. The pain I feel just seems to be the price I am paying for this. So all these churned up emotions together with the huge sense of loss and longing means I have no peace. I’m sure the people here on this site are all either going through similar emotions or have passed through and achieved a little peace. I hope so.
Good morning Robette, couldn’t sleep and I was thinking of you, hoping you have found a little bit of that elusive peace. This lockdown is making life even more difficult and wrong seeming, shutting us off even more from family and friends. I have a couple of months on you and just wanted to tell you that life is beginning to feel a bit more worth living, nothing amazing but not as bleak. It’s a very gradual thing, so gradual that you hardly notice it, just tiny steps as you realise that you’re learning to adapt. That stuck feeling will start to shift. Have you had any counselling? The Sue Ryder service is brilliant and helped me , it’s really worth a go if you could face it. Hope you are all right today and this miserable weather isn’t getting to you. Sending love xxxx
Oh bjane you know so well what I’m feeling. So much sadness and despair and I can somehow only pick up on negative things right now. It’s not all day every day but it’s a large part of my life. I had some counselling but the last time I spoke to the counsellor I was reduced to tears in the middle of Sainsbury’s. I didn’t get a call back after that but it was only 3 sessions and I never felt as though they had helped me at all. I talk to David all the time. I have a photograph of him in the bedroom, the kitchen and the lounge but I still can’t talk about him without crying. The weather isn’t helping, it makes everything around me appear so bleak. I’m so very glad you are beginning to recover, if that’s the right word, albeit tiny steps. We shouldn’t have to face what appears to be insurmountable things, whilst carrying broken hearts. Really glad you are feeling a little bit better. Love xxx
Roberta, I know everything is so bleak at the moment , I know I felt exactly as you do. Very sadly this new lockdown , the clocks going back and atrocious weather are enough to fell anyone, without the burden of a massive loss. I just hope things will start to get a bit better for you over the next few months, as they are starting to do for me. Sending love your way xxxxx
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Sorry my phone just does this, Robette ! xxx
It’s one of the Joy’s of mobile phones! 
You’re right but where would we be without them at the moment. My phone goes its own way but it keeps me sane! Hope you are all right today xx
Calmer. But I don’t know why. How are you?
All right today thank you. The weather helps too doesn’t it.Have a good day xxx
Such a sad day today. I don’t know why or what caused it to be so. The ache in my heart is unbelievable, I can barely breathe. I am going to bed it’s 20:45. Perhaps I can stop crying when I’m asleep. Five months since he died. I never imagined this weighted sadness. I know he won’t return but It doesn’t stop me wishing he hadn’t died and I could cuddle up to him once more …
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Just comes a lot doesn’t it. 8 months with me the waves of grief are horrific I hope you manage to sleep something that does not come easy for me. X
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Oh Robette, how strange, I was only thinking of you today and hoping you were all right. I was going to messsage but a lot of things cropped up. I am so sorry you felt like that, I do understand though, I had exactly that same terrible feeling a few days ago when it was 7
months since Malc died, although I hadn’t thought I’d been dwelling on it . It must be buried in our subconscious . I hope you feel a little less upset tomorrow. Sending a big hug and a lot of love. Keep
posting xxxxx
Kim 5, it doesn’t get better does it, those waves of grief just sweep you off your feet. Lockdown, dark mornings and afternoons and the approach of Christmas just make it all so much worse. Thinking of you and sending love x
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Robette and Kim, Sunday’s a miserable day, hope you are both coping. Sending love x
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Still crying. Don’t want to carry on like this but I guess it’s not my time yet so I will wait and hope that we all get through Christmas and out the other side. Maybe we might find that something out there can give each one of us here, a reason to smile. Thinking of you bjane, but also to all those other lost and lonely souls missing their loved ones xxx
This is such hard reading for me x I am 25.days from losing my husband. I just dont know how I am going to do this. I mean his pillow against my back so I can imagine he is there throughout the night for.goodness sake. His phone has finally cut off today. His glasses are still hanging where he left them. His clothes are still in place as is his toothbrush, shower gel, shampoo and aftershave x I will.get.it sorted in little bits x I’m not ready to remove him yet. I send my love to all of you, that you find strength and move forward x There is no escape from grief, shock and life being tipped upside down x all my love x
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Hi I’m 8 months in this grief I feel we don’t know what to do especially with the festivities. As for my husbands belongings I have touched nothing and can’t bear to part with anything at present I wear his dressing grown. Everything of his is where it was. We are all different and do things at our own pace and when we’re ready. Very sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking reading posts on here so very sad. I found it helps me sometimes just to vent sending love x
Cinders 21 you don’t need to do anything yet, it’s very early days for you. I haven’t moved anything of Malcolm’s and sleep with one of his shirts and a sweater , also I wear his pyjamas which are way too big but it feels comforting.love to you allxxx
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Keeping David’s things exactly where he left them is a comfort for me and it’s the same, I imagine, for a great many others who have been left behind. I have his photo in every room baring the bathroom, plus at the top of the stairs and so I can talk to him almost wherever I am. Again, for me this is a great comfort. I am not ready, willing or able to relinquish any part of him that I can hold onto.
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Hi everyone.I lost my Ron 2 yrs ago and can only say that the pain changes but never goes.The raw feeling goes but the emptiness steps in. I can talk about him now without crying but I can’t look at photo’s or any clothes.I moved everything fairly quickly because it hurt me too much and I spent so much time crying onto his shirts. I suppose I am just saying that everyone has their own way of coping. He was and still is, my life! I wish I could say it gets easier and it does in the way it impacts us but with me there is just a feeling of my life bring incomplete even on the good days. I think even now I am in shock. But we have to carry on and count the days to meeting our loved ones again and I am sure we will.Thinking of you all during these hard times.