Hi regarding Wills. My mother re-married and she and my stepfather made their will for their estate to be shared equally between their four children (from their previous marriages.) My mother died first and straight away the son and daughter from stepfather’s side took their 90 year old father with dementia to the solicitors to get the will changed to their benefit. I was supposed to be handling the will when he passed away being the oldest but I never had any contact at all, I never knew they had changed the joint will until stepfather passed away. We did get something but very little compared with what they gave themselves, so I am very suspicious of wills, if they can be so easily changed. My mother would have turned in her grave as she disliked my stepfather’s two. I would never thought of changing the will, it was what our parents wanted. Brian had his will and I had mine both leaving everything to each other. I had to make out a new will and have had to include a letter as to why I have left out his daughters should they contest. xx
Hi John, yes when I think back neither of my Nan’s front doors were locked during the daytime, you just walked in, anybody could have done this. Some people opened the door and called out and even the meter man could just walk in and read it.
I realised how bad things were becoming when we was out cycling one day and passed a little boy of about 6 or 7 on the side of the road crying. I was behind Brian and stopped to see what was the matter. Apparently he was out with older boys and his chain came off and they had ridden off without him. Brian immediately turned around and came back and mended the bike, we was then about to walk the little lad home but his friends re-appeared when they had realised he wasn’t with them. Brian then told me that as much as he wanted to stop he didn’t dare but knew that I would and that wasn’t so bad. In Boots I noticed a toddler on her own going towards the main doors and main road. Did I dare catch hold of her and as there was no assistants around I followed staying close fortunately her father appeared just as she reached the doors.
World has gone mad.
Love Pat xxx
So true, Pat, a few years ago, a little boy and his sister knocked on our door and asked if they could use our bathroom, of course we said “Yes”. To cut a long story short, I rang their granddad and explained why the children had been in our home, luckily we know him. Sad.
Hi. Sheila.
My goodness, a Jubilee locomotive 4-6-2. Now that takes me back. I do remember going to Colchester with one of those pulling the train. My Grandparents lived in North London and they had trains at the bottom of their garden. ‘Puffing Billies’ we called them. Local steam trains. Stopped at every station! Much better for a 10 year old than having fairies at the bottom of the garden!
Yes, it’s so sad that kids can’t just go out and play as we did. It’s ‘unsafe’ they say. What an indictment to a society. We had a place called ‘The Dell’ where we played. It was an old sandpit. I met my first ‘girlfriend’ there. We were only 10. It’s difficult to believe such innocence existed.
Thanks for the photo. It did bring back good memories. XX John.
Yes Pat it has gone mad. Mary sadly sums it up when she had to explain why the children had been in her home. People become suspicious. Now in no way would I blame parents who are looking after their kids welfare, but it’s the fact that they have to that makes it so sad.
I think losing a loved one does heighten memories of childhood, even before we met our partners. Losing parents or siblings can do it too. I think we were truly happy in those days. Life was ‘simples’ as the Merecats say!! We didn’t ask for much.
Take care Pat. Always good to hear from you. Love. John. XX
This is the first time that I have read this thread and I am so sorry for the additional pain and heartache that friends and family have caused. Without going into details I have experienced much of the same so I really do understand. However, there comes a time when we have to let it all go because we need all our strength to get through each day. I used to feel so sorry for myself…so unloved and ill treated by those who I had fondly thought would support me when I needed them the most (Barry often said “you’ll be OK if I go first Sal because your kids will look after you”) but it has just never happened! Is it my fault? Is it their fault? Or is it just that time has moved on so fast and society’s values have changed accordingly…we now live in an age where political correctness demands that people act “appropriately” but without any true depth of feeling and understanding …where life per se has diminished in value. For those of us of a certain age this is so difficult to accept…we are confused as to how it has actually happened and upset that our values have been replaced by something quite alien.
We have a choice…we can let our hurt and angst fester and make our lives even harder or we can try to accept that “It is as it is” and let the pain go. Is that forgiveness? I don’t know but I do know that now I am grateful for the times when love is shown rather than look for its absence my days are more peaceful.
I hope this might help…what works for one person is not always of use to others …but all of us who visit this site do so because we have been blessed to be loved and no amount of time or change can take that away.
Take care x
Now Sheila, that was very naughty kissing in railway sheds. I would never dream of doing such a thing. 
I was a good little boy and only had my first girlfriend when I was 8. !!! Apart from the odd knocking on doors and running away I was perfect. Well. almost!!! Serves you right about being caught!!! Just imagine today telling a 16 year old she can’t have boyfriends until she was 18. All hell would break loose.
Thanks Sheila. John. XX
Your so right all hell would break out if you tried to tell a sixteen year old anything nowadays. For some reason my mum was always pushing me to have boyfriends and now know that she really wanted me to get married and move out. She married at eighteen and wanted me to do the same. But then neither did we get on very well. But you know I was never really interested in boys as I had my pony and that was my main interest along with my horseriding friends, yet I was never without a boyfriend from the age of fourteen. I wonder if my disinterest made them more interested!!! could never work that one out. But we did split up for this reason also.
| also thought I was a good girl but my mother didn’t think so, because I wanted to go our riding all the time and never helped around the house. Neither did my headmistress at the small private school I went to. My crime was being seen to take off my school hat when I got into town, I hated it but we had strict uniform rules and wearing your hat at all times was one of them. Laughable now isn’t it. What a rebel I was…
Pat xxx
oooh Pat, you naughty girl.
Yes, I agree Mary. What an admission. Very naughty. Not conforming to what others want of you? Disgraceful. My gosh, I do wish there were more independent minded people about and not be swayed by what others think. Good for you Pat. I have nothing to add becuse I was a perfect boy in every way and still am. 
XX Blessings and a hug.
When i was at school, the teenager stage…Us classroom girls would all say and agree with…" we go to school, we leave school and start working, we meet a boy, we get engaged, we get married, we have children, the we live happily ever after, well this was the way it was meant to be, then of course we die…well although my life, Richards life did not quite pan out n order, this now leaves only the last phase left, and my Richard has already reached his…
Jackie…
Ohhhh, Sheila, another naughty girl in our midst.
I was the designated babysitter, being 8 years older than my brother and 11 years older than my sister. Stan and I very rarely went out at the week-ends. My mum and dad used to sulk if I even mentioned it, in this respect they were very selfish. They even told my siblings that they could stay up until their return, I can remember Stan offering our John half a crown if he went to bed,
little brother told my mum and she fell out with me. Is there any wonder I was a virgin when we married in 1960:smile:
When i was at school, the teenager stage…Us classroom girls would all say and agree with…" we go to school, we leave school and start working, we meet a boy, we get engaged, we get married, we have children, the we live happily ever after, " well this was the way it was meant to be, then of course we die…well although my life, Richards life did not quite pan out n order, this now leaves only the last phase left, and my Richard has already reached his…
Jackie…
It seems to me there were a lot of naughty girls around then. it’s strange I never met any. Well maybe a few!! Alright then, a lot. Yes we did have fun. This is all such a contrast to those days. Memories can be good and there is still space here for a bit of lighthearted talk. Thanks all you girls. You so often make my day. Hugs.XX
Jonathan…
… us girls all have a past, and some things are best kept under lock and key, the least said the better…
Sheila…
…what is that… a chastity belt…
Well i may have not been such a " good girl," i was expecting at age 18 but my Richard was a good man, even though we met 30 years later…
Dear Jonathan, I was a good good girl, Stan and I used to use the word good and repeating ourselves. It came from a night that my niece was spending with us, her mum (my sister was at the side of me in bed, snoring her head off). Little Sarah was in a put up bed, we had all been out celebrating the New Year. Sarah had one of those toy tin frogs and she insisted upon clicking it, I tried to take it from her, she then told me to be a good good girl, it has stuck ever since. Bless her she was only 2 years old.
Happy memories, Stan was sleeping at a friend’s house, he did right.
Hey there, I was a good girl as well although I married at seventeen. Didn’t live together in those days and it seemed a good idea at the time. I was so innocent that when a first boyfriend held my hand and kissed me I was terrified of becoming pregnant. I knew nothing it wasn’t talked about then but what harm did it do us. I tried to talk to my mother about my fears but she wouldn’t discus it, it seemed to be a sacred subject them, so had to learn through trial and error. AFTER I was married. My mother and I didn’t get on very well but she admitted when I was older that she was jealous of my freedom as she had been a teenager during the war and with dad her only boyfriend, a teenager himself, away fighting a war. It must have been so hard.
Love Pat xx
This discussion reminds me of my favourite programme of Everybody loves Raymond…the one where Debra is accused of NOT being " a good girl…" then Frank lets the cat out of the bag about he and Marie…so funny…