I feel pretty much the same.
I dont want a new life, I want my old one back
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Same here. I want my old life back. As you say @Irene1 it is so hard to make or even want a new life at our age. What do we all do? I wish I knew because I can’t stay the way I am for however long I might have left.
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Same here, it’s not a new life I want.
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Yeh but we dont have any choice do we - we have to try adapt to a new type of living dont we ? We got our memories and pur men are in our heart 
it just takes time ya know x
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I rarely reply or post on here,because it breaks me too much.I don’t mean that in a negative way.Also I rarely read posts nowhere near as much as I used to,it’s too hard.Lost my beloved partner 14 months to brain cancer in 8 days.People probably assume I’m ok.Im definitely not .Sometimes the pain is unbearable.I miss her beyond words.Im very close to getting a tattoo of her on my chest above my heart area…xx
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It is only just 10 weeks and he was not ill.
I watched them try to revive him for ages.
I was there when decided to stop, declared time of death and heard the continuous beep of the monitor.
We were together all the time and that was fine.
Obviously, that now has changed.
People have drifted away and I have very few visitors.
I would never do anything drastic and I do not judge others for any choice they make.
I totally identify with people wanting the pain and emptiness to end.
I realise what you are saying but I am still trying to come to terms with his death and his absence.
That is still too much for me.
I try to cope but the rollercoaster is in the biggest dip at the moment.
Rose
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Aw … thats nice 
i lost my husband 17 months ago … in two days time 
i know its awful and we dont want things to change but it happens very slowly as we rebuild our lives in a fashion … and they are never far away are they from our thoughts are they x
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I know what youre saying … i do … been there done that, worn the t- shirt … gets a bit easier though you know ! Youre still very early days x
Hi, cant say I’m a big fan of tattoos
but if it will help you to cope then go for it. Really hope it helps pick you up.
Take care
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Yes you are right we have to carry on and try to remain positive. The people we have lost wouldn’t want us to be unhappy
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Hi, hope you’re having a decent day. I often feel like you do, I dont go out much but if I do apart from shopping I mite go to a tea room or local pub for a bit of lunch usually alone ,Whilst out I feel a little bit of light relief from my new norm, but the minute I’m home and the door closes, the reality of the situation hits me and i go to pieces. I think we all try to put on a brave face but really we’re dying inside. Hope you feel a bit of comfort soon. Take care
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O my love you are not negative at all, I to lost my hubby on a Saturday and it just keeps hitting me over and over again, ive so much to tell him, but hes not here, no one sees the inner me, the screaming inside me, whats it all about now, no one to hold hands with. So sorry we are all in this living nightmare, god bless you
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Yeh course we gonna have bad days and i still cry too and feel sad but we have to try and go on for them …we been given this gift of life and i think we have to do it for them x
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Don’t be sorry the grief makes us negative i am exactly the same every morning xshirl
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You’re right there it does make you feel negative some days … i go up and down x
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Hi Debs mine is a monday and its been 22weeks and 2 days and there is not a minute i dont dream of being back with him. We gad 50 years i should be feeling lucky to have been with him and smile but sometimes i wish i hasd never met Jimi then this wouldn’t hurt so much. People say you never forget but u learn to live with the pain. The thing is i have always been a slow learner. I hope ur pain eases slightly i know mine wont u pray every night for him to come and get me but i still wake up each morning. I hope you have better luck on your journey. I could say allsorts to try and help but i never did or practice what i preach… my heart is with you though
Shirl
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Thank you @Shirl55 i hope so too but its just so hard some days and feel so rubbish. I think we can only be strong for so long. Going to meet my new grandson of 2 months bless him, ar 11am so hope that cheers me up but just woke up like this this morning ! Hugs back to you xxx
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I’m rather late to this post. But I just wanted to say I understand everything which you and others have written. My husband died last October and tbh although I try and keep myself very busy and everyone thinks I’m doing OK inside my heart and soul are just miserable. I hate my own company, I don’t have children and my steadfast companion is a dog, who has become my world.
I cannot imagine life without my husband and the fact that it’s for ever…
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I lost my husband 2 months ago at sue Ryder . I’m heartbroken. The loss I feel is draining and that somedaysI can’t go on. The evenings seem to be worse and going to bed is a nightmare. Most of all I miss his voice and every day my husband telling me he loved me. I feel for everyone on this site. I’m with you and understand what you are all feeling. Peace to All. X
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Big hugs x
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