Hi Pattidot
Yes we would love signs a lot more but we are only given what we are allowed,i find sometimes i get a few over days then goes quiet then activity starts again.I ask sometimes when i need them around,and usually receive the signs.I always say thank you when they answer as it’s not easy for them ,takes a lot of energy for them to do.Lovely you have met a lady with spiritualist knowledge.I sometimes attend a spiritualist church,there is something in the way they greet strangers,the friendliness and welcome from them is hard to find elsewhere.You are right when you say people who believe are wary of speaking about it,i keep most of it to myself ,my daughters understand as they have had many signs from there Dad too.Some people think you are either crazy,or they feel sorry for you for clutching at straws in grief.I often smile to myself as if they only knew they would be amazed at what is really possible in this life here.But that is there own experience to find.Iv’e known for many years,long before my husband passed,i had already experienced signs ,i knew that when my Brian passed it was always a possibility,and his signs have been more frequent and stronger.It never replaces the grief,i want him here,but i have an understanding that death is not final,we do see our loved ones again.I think more and more people over time will find this out,but some work also has to be put in to receiving them,meditation,developing senses to a higher frequency,they are not always spontaneous,although they are the most amazing ones.The very fact you are open to them and acknowledge they are signs you will receive more.It’s free will ,you have to invite signs,you have to want them.Free will means they cannot give if it is never thought of or wanted.Hope you have many more and they get stronger xx
I am also hoping to go to a local spiritualist church but want to wait a while until giving it a try, don’t want to be so emotional. In the past I have been able to know when something was going to happen. Brian said I was a frightening person to have around. I never understood how I could possibly know these things. Now I don’t ignore these feelings, I know they mean something. I don’t know whether to sell this house and move but feel that if it’s meant to be it will happen.Always felt that everything happens for a reason.
Hi
Yes just go when you are ready,no need to put extra pressure on yourself.Yes use your intuition,that gut feeling,is there for a reason,it will help you to make a better decision.I would take your time ,best to think it over and work out if a move would be best all round for you.I had thoughts of possibly moving a few months ago,those thoughts never went any further,for now im staying put.I don’t really want to add any major changes to those already in my life at the moment.x
Hello Robina, Yes your quite right, perhaps it’s too early to take on more changes. Everything an effort. Don’t know if you have read another post of mine bur briefly I started to clear out the loft. Now I have never been allowed up there before, so it’s a first. So much stuff, unbelievable. I found buried a case full of papers/photo’s/memorabilia. My husband put that case in the loft when we married 30 years ago and I never saw what was in it. Now I am left to sort it all out. Some of the photo’s of him with ex’s have really upset me, and I hate the thought that all this stuff has been in our house for all those years and I am the one having to destroy his past. I was burning papers/photo’s today throwing all in an incinerator. I suddenly came across a photo of him kissing a woman who I think may have been his ex wife (never shown a photo of her), I swore at him, I was angry. We never chose this house, it was his. bought with ex wife. Now I am beginning to hate the place. I keep asking him how could he do this to me, I thought he loved me, it’s as if he’s rubbing my nose in it. Being oversensitive I know, most unlike me, but he’s not here to laugh about it with me. I have had so much to sort out that it’s draining me.My husband got rid of nothing unless I nagged him about hording.
Oh i would put any distressing thoughts far from your mind Pattidot,like you say that was put there 30 years ago,it’s history,in the past,doesn’t change your marriage to your lovely husband,it’s ok to be sensitive,i’m sure grief intensifies our emotions.Just do a bit at a time,sounds like you do quite a lot in a day already,you do try hard,iv’e started decluttering,just a few things at a time,mainly some things like an exercise bike that is broken,old lampshades,various things,keeping most of hubby’s stuff,i gave my grandchildren some things and something each to the daughters,iv’e kept the rest in my husband’s bedside cupboard,i like to look at them every now and again xx
I know your right about that dratted case but I can’t get it out of my mind and hate myself for feeling so pathetic. I’m so upset at having to destroy his past, yet like watching it all burn. Another journey into the loft next week with the help of my grandson and wife, dread what I’m going to find this time. I’m noticing that we all have different ways of coping but I sorted out my husbands ‘room’ which was his painting/music/photography/computer room in the first five weeks. I desperately wanted to de-clutter, it became an obsession. I cried my eyes out as I did it as I knew how much he hated anybody touching his things. I also had a charity shop come and collect his clothes but was annoyed when his suits/jackets were thrown in the back as he took such care of his clothes. The poor collector got an ear bashing from me. Gave his paints and equipment away and found new homes for most of his camera’s. Kept a few jumpers and jackets for me to wear. I also have his watch on and his wallet/photo in my bag. When I see his tools though I just break down and haven’t a clue when I will be able to do anything with his shed. I do however have a house full of his paintings (even in the bathroom) and I lie in bed looking at the ones I have in the bedroom. (7 of them).
I don’t think the past can ever be destroyed,even if we think we are giving it away,burning it like you say,it all happened ,it all was and still is.Things are just that things,stuff we accumulate,it’s only really about the essence of the person themselves that matters.So if you feel better sorting it out then you do that,de-cluttering is a healthy thing to do,helps to clear the mind too.The paintings will give you comfort as they were created by him,they good to keep.xx
Your so right. I do get some satisfaction from de-cluttering, but it has proved very hard and wears me out mentally. I must admit I did enjoy throwing his photo’s of ex’s in the incinerator and watching them burn. Even if it was his past I was destroying. Wicked or what!!! No one can take away the happy memories of our love.
I lost my Dad 8 weeks ago and have taken over his roll of Mums hospital appointments. 1st visit as soon as we entered the hospital doors the tv screen that calls the next patient came up with my Dads name…I brushed it off as a coincidence. Today at same hospital different unit,as soon as I sat down my Dads name came up on screen. Not a coincidence maybe.
I lost my Dad 8 weeks ago and have taken over his roll of Mums hospital appointments. 1st visit as soon as we entered the hospital doors the tv screen that calls the next patient came up with my Dads name…I brushed it off as a coincidence. Today at same hospital different unit,as soon as I sat down my Dads name came up on screen. Not a coincidence maybe.
Hi meganfarn
Firstly sorry your Dad has passed ,I don’t believe in coincidences,and for this to happen twice,and for your Dad’s name to appear sounds very much a sign from him.Would be very unusual for the next patient to have the exact same name as your Dad.Hope you and your Mum receive more Take care xx
I’m usually fairly rational and not into signs and that sort of thing but I have to tell you a few strange things have happened since my darling was taken…
At his memorial we were packed with people and missing was his Dad who was very late. He eventually turned up having been delayed and we started with our song, “it must be love” by madness. On the exact moment of the first note a shaft of light came through the window on to me that was incredibly strong. That bowled me over. I asked his brother if he saw it or if I was imagining it and he did. Later after the ceremony, which included me speaking twice and three others too my friend who was in the audience said at several key points during our speeches the light came through in an unusual way…
About two weeks after he went my dear friend who was with him too when he died had a very vivid dream where he came into the pub that we went to for quiz night. She said, oh there you are, sit down, and he said he couldn’t stay, but he wanted us to know he was alright… wow!
I went to an antique place and felt very drawn to look at some old papers on a table. On the top was a very old song sheet for a song called ‘ I walk beside you’ with the loveliest lyrics about how even after death he will walk beside me.
I’ll take them as signs. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I have asked him to help me too as I often talk to him.
What a comfort in such sad times…we’re rational people but you can not deny these signs. My Daughter is very sensitive to activity such as wispering in her ear,cold spots and flashes of people, but she didn’t want her Gramps to come to her.The day we said goodbye she heard him say "Thankyou " outloud.
Hi, I’m new here and was trying to navigate my way around and felt strongly guided to your posts .As I read further and came to you loved ones name Brian, which is my Dad’s name also…it seems his name is popping up everywhere. At the hospital check in his name came up on tv screen as soon as I entered the doors and again yesterday as I sat down his name came up on the screen…not coincidence surely
I’m still ambivalent about “signs.” I experienced a pretty unusual event when my Echo Dot started playing “Come On, Eileen” after I had just said “Alexa, stop sulking” (witnessed by two other people) but I still can’t shake off the feeling that there is a lot of auto-suggestion going on, as we interpret coincidences favoursbly, believing what we want to believe.
Having said that, I confess that I am desperate for signs, and I had hoped for a torrent of them after the “Alexa” incident.
But alas, no, though I do come across an awful lot of white feathers.
So I will be happy to read whatever people may think of events this morning.
Every day I pop into our village church after dog walking and grave tending. Being mindful of my muddy boots and eight muddy paws I do not venture too much past the Galilee Porch/South Door.
This morning, for some reason, I went further, to the front row of pews where I sat next to the central aisle on the day of Eileen’s funeral. Right there, on the aisle carpet was a little object which, as I knelt, I could see was a motionless bee. I touched it gently, and realized that it was alive, though lethargic. I persuaded it to climb on my thumb, saying “Please don’t sting me,” and I took it outside to a patch of damp grass in some warm sunshine. Eileen always tried to resuscitate bees which had been caught by a cold snap, and indeed, in my eulogy, I had said “She was kind to all living things.”
Then, as I left the church via a track, I saw yet another white feather, For some reason it was upright, as though stuck in the ground by the quill. This was just behind a bench associated with Eileen, which is shown in a photo I have previously used for my profile. Had it been on the other side, where she sat, I would not have seen it. (I’ll change my profile photo back to that image for a while).
So what do you kind folk think of all this ?
How I love her.
Things happen and we interpret them. We might accept a few things as Universal Truths without much questioning, but by and large most things are open to interpretation.
What on earth could be wrong with you putting your interpretation on what seems like a perfect sequence of events, things, happenings. Better still if it touches you in a way which gives comfort and has meaning.
Who needs a scientific mind. Things have happened to me recently and I smile. I refuse to think too deeply and just take the comfort on offer.
Oh Sheila I love this post x
Edwin, your experiences today are so nice. All I can say is, if that was me in your place today I would absolutely see them as messages from your Eileen.
A bee. In church. A white feather by her bench. Stood up too. Come on Edwin, feel the love she’s sending you. She’s ok. She’s with you still. Don’t doubt her. I’m smiling on your behalf x
Bless you for that.