Thankyou for your timely reply.
G
Hi Gary54
Many have come to witness a deep peace and have been moved by George’s uplifting funeral which remains on you tube with over 2 000 views. They wondered how I could speak and how my daughter could sing so beautifully on that day. It is still on you tube if you want to take a glimpse Google funeral of George nyarko soul survivor it comes up straight away. We wanted to give him the best send off ever. My son did most of the planning. It was a celebration of his life.
Juneie
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You are doing so well Wong, I wish I had your outlook & courage. I am still just curling up into a wee tight ball, no use to anyone right now. Well done for taking on some challenges, I mean that most sincerely.
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Thank you. I am going to look for some counselling when I feel strong enough. I have a lot of guilt over stupid things that I can’t shift and something awful happened to us as a family a few years ago which we never really dealt with but probably had an impact on my husbands mental state fit which I feel immense guilt. I’m nit strong enough yet to do it and thus wonderful place has eased many of my worries that some might see as silly but to me are huge , like nit being done to hear his voice in my head. My daughter who’s 24still lives with me and is a huge strength to me but I feel sometimes I’m nit helping her by my distress , she has her own to deal with but wants to be here for me. Your reply has comforted me very much thank you x
My daughter is 24, and we are very close so I am blessed to have her still at home. She is so devastated by her dads passing and the trauma of the night too. It must be truly awful for people who have young children , my heart goes out to them. I’m struggling to support Paige let alone a young child.
Hi Heartbroken1 pleased you have your daughter at home with you still. Mine are at home with me me 18, 22, 26. It is great to have company and I do not know what I would do had they been very young.
Counselling from Sue Ryder is helping me and I hope you feel up to getting some help.
Juneie
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Thank you, our kids are a true blessing aren’t they! And yours have each other as well. My daughter has half brothers and sisters but they’re not close really. I couldn’t have coped without her by my side I do know that. I’m so lucky to have her x
This just struck me as so true. My lovely husband and I met only 4 years ago next month. . Both marrrd before with grown up kids. We realised quickly that we had found the love of our life for the first time in our lives. It was overwhelming. We spent our time making treasurrd memories and we were so loved up we acted like teenagers in love for the first tine. It was the best time of my adult life. He was more tham I could have ever dreamed or hoped for in a husband. I will miss my husband for the rest of my life. I can’t believe I won’t hear his loving voice or see his cheeky grin ever again. My heart is broken and my life will never be the same.
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I’m so sorry you didn’t have long with your husband. I was lucky enough to have 34 years with mine, it was all of my adult life and for the first time ever in my adult life I am alone. I thought I was a strong person but it turns out it was him by my side constantly that made me strong. I too am absolutely broken and I know I’ll never get over this
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@Laneyb
You know when you find your one love, your lifetime partner, your soul mate.
It is wonderful that you were able to enjoy four years with your husband.
I met Karen forty years ago, we were eighteen, I knew when I met her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Sadly she died much too young. The future looks pretty bleak at the moment.
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Hi Laneyb I feel your pain and hear your story meeting the man of your life. It is really difficult and life is never going to be the same for any of us. It is starting to re-build our lives in a new world.
I am forever grateful for meeting George and we have to hold on to their sweet memories.
Juneie
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I can’t put into words really how much I miss my husband. He brought me back to life when I met him and am so thankful for meeting him. He have me live, confidence and a lots of soecial memories. He told me that I was the one he had been waiting for and that as long as he could put a smile on my face he was happy. He was such a special man and it doesnt seem fair that I only had him for as short time.
Heartbroken1 You were married one year longer than me. Mine was 33 years. Like you most of my adult life I know nothing else, always together, he did the finances sorted out all the maintenance and most of the cooking. I was a lady of leisure. These lovely wonderful exceptional men that we have lost will never die from our hearts. We are on a new road without our other half and very impossible to make a whole when you only have a half!!. However, I’m learning to do all that George did as there is no one else to do it.
However, we cannot give up as we have to be grateful for the time we had with them. Nothing is ours forever everything is on loan. Appreciate the time we have be it painful, heart aching as seeing the loss of so many on the COVID reflection day on TV yesterday is enormous and many worse off than ourselves.
Let’s hold on to their memories.
Juneie
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Laneby you are so right none of it seems right 4 years like you, 33 years like myself, some on here 33, 46 59 etc however long they have been with the love of their life it doesn’t seem fair none of it. I have a new outlook on life to appreciate everything/everyone around as I do not know how long it/they will last. There are of course those who we find no joy in appreciating just keep your distance!!. You say he put a smile on your face. Maybe you can think of him in moments of despair and see that smile come back to your face.
I am wishing you well. It is never easy my mum rings me every day at 10pm as she knows the nights are not good for me but I am getting here and NO I will never ever forget George how could I as you will never either.
Juneie
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It really seems that the whole country is beyond excited about the lifting of lockdown, the long Easter weekend, the sunshine. I have already lost track of how many people, well intentioned I know, have told me in the last couple of days that ‘ I must be feeling so much better now that the sun is shining”. Yet I feel more desperate than ever. I’m sure so many of you will, like me, be remembering long weekends from earlier years and feel swept away by memories . Now a long weekend is just another burden to endure, another example of how I don’t feel I ‘fit in’ anymore. And another ‘first’ to get through.
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Yes Bunny, it does all take on a new meaning when you have lost someone you love, and it’s very hard not to go over what you would have been doing, had they still been with you. Watching others do those things can be painful too. I do find enjoyment in the better weather though and it enables me to sort the garden out, which is what Paul would be doing if he were still here. So, I shall take some comfort in that, (although it will take me 3x as long!) and the sense of achievement that I will feel afterwards. I’m learning to find a positive, however small in most things and I do really believe that helps me. Take good care, Kathy.
Oh Bunny88, how right you are! Every ‘special’ day just reminds me that Tony isn’t here to enjoy it with me, and the ‘special’ turns into ‘heartbreaking’. We loved times like Easter, because we would join our family for Easter Sunday lunch, but the rest of the time was ours. We would hunker down with crosswords, chatting, and tv if there was anything on. The fact we were here, together, in our lovely house, totally happy, was so comforting. We would look up and smile, funny how we always seemed to look up at the same time! Quite often, we would both speak together, making a suggestion, a walk, or what to eat. We were one and my happiness and contentment were obvious, as were his. Yes, we had our disagreements in our early marriage, and I threw many a tantrum, but after that, once we worked out how to be a couple, we were one. I adored him and he adored me. We were lucky in that we had the same values, shared the same determination not to give in to age, but do fun things for as long as we could, and we did.
Needless to say, his death floored me. I found it hard to believe that the strong handsome husband who was always there for me, was there no more.
Nine long months later, I feel the same. Oh, I put on a good show, especially for my wonderful loving family who have carried me through this hell on earth. But inside, I scream, and I know I will never get over losing him as long as I live. Then, on top of all that, we get holidays, Christmas, Easter, etc, and the grief starts all over again.
So sorry - you got more than you bargained for with this reply. I apologise, but hadn’t the heart to delete it.
I wish you well. One day, we will learn to cope, at least, I hope so! Hugs, AnnR xx
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Dear Bunny, Kayt & AnnR,
I read all your posts this morning, and how true they are. I am constantly thinking back and especially to this time last year. My husband, David, started chemo a year ago today, which coincided with our son’s 21st. Not quite the milestone celebration we had originally planned. Sadly, David’s cancer was advanced and aggressive and he died in May 2020.
I have been really trying to make myself get up and get out every day and am also determined to keep David’s beloved garden looking good. I do feel better when I have achieved something but really just want him by my side.
Love to you all as you get through the Easter celebrations. 
Morning Dal27 it truly not an easy time. I am sorry for your loss. Lovely to know you have an incentive that will keep your husbands memory alive. The Garden sounds lovely. My first Easter without my husband who died in January suddenly it is so hard but need to keep going. Going over to my sisters today for Dinner. Hopefully in her garden if weather permits it’s looking a bit overcast. Anyhow I wish you a lovely Easter.
Juneie
Hi Juneie
How are you coping
I started to watch your video on you tube.
But I had to do something and was planning to watch it later but then it was gone.
It is so sad that your churches are not open.
I have been going to church for some months now.
Our pastor became ill after he beat COVID-19.
He had awful after effects. Though he took the service last Sunday after many months of others taking his place, he did remarkably well. Perhaps he is on the mend.
I hope and pray that he will be back soon
As I went to school in England I know that the Church of England is so different to our church.
It doesn’t seem to me that for many that to have a personal relationship with Jesus-is important.
When in actual fact it is paramount. Especially to-get through these difficult times.
I hope that you are coping, when I think of you, I really think that you are.
Take care
All the best
Gary54