In this life yes. You are right.
If you are a believer in Christ.
We will get all the answers when we go to Heaven.
This comforted me.
Just saying
G
You are amazing Sheila!!
@Lonely. I did get up and check every room in the end last night. I was frightened, and don’t know what I would have done if anyone had been about as I forgot to arm myself with a weapon, but couldn’t sleep til I did it. Had to work today so needed some sleep. I kept lying in bed thinking “did I lock the doors?” I had. In the end I turned the heating on, I could then in my mind think those noises are just the heating. What a weird life I am starting to live!
I have tried to do more DIY things in the last few months. I now have sole access to the drill, and I have worked out how to use it. Watch out walls!!! Need to find out where I can buy packs of size 6 or 6.5 masonry drills. Could be my technique, or hard walls, but the pointy bits keep going blunt at the ends. Have looked in B&Q, Homebase etc, but they want me to buy multipacks of different sizes or the size I need is really expensive for a single one. Has anyone got suggestions regarding buying drill bits please?
Hi Wong
How about Screwfix or Maxwells.
I too now try to do some of my own repairs - only small - and use Youtube to help.
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@Wong
As @Sheila26 has correctly identified Screwfix or Toolstation will sell you individual masonry drills (are you sure it isn’t 5.5mm you want? )
They shouldn’t be going blunt, have you looked on Youtube for using masonry drills?
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@Sheila26 and @RichardM. Never thought about you tube. Will take a look, and will also look at Screwfix and Toolstation. Sometimes it just needs someone to point me in the right direction. Thank you so much, it is appreciated. Maybe I am using the wrong sized drill bit. I am using red rawl plugs as the walls are brick and not plaster board. The drill bits I have used have been previously well used, so maybe that is why they are going blunt. I tried sawing wood, but have definitely not mastered that. If I had bit the wood with my teeth it would have looked less chewed! Will look at that on you tube too.
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I guess 6mm would be the correct size for the red plug, I generally use the yellow rawl plug and the 5.5mm drill.
You will need to become acquainted with YouTube, it will be your friend as you tackle all these tasks for the first time
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Dear Wong
My husband, although more practically experienced, started to use Youtube for some jobs he was doing in the house. I do know what a rawl plug is but that’s where my expertise stops.
I have to finish off our kitchen in order to get the Council to sign-off the building regs. Not doing the big jobs will get the professionals back - we did pay them to do the outstanding jobs but my husband used to dabble and told them to leave it for him. I need the skirting boards put back on. Thought I would cheat - if I go to B&Q and buy the skirting and know the lengths for each wall they will cut to size. With regard to sawing you have to gently put a cut into the top of the wood. It could also be the size of saw you are using. Again would consult Youtube and good luck.
Sheila
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I don’t know about buying drills, but if you are going to drill walls, please make sure there are no electricity cables behind where you are planning to drill. I think B&Q sell a gadget to do find where the cables are. If I were you, I would have a word with an expert in B &Q to see if they could guide you. I know from watching my late husband, DIY isn’t a walk in the park. He was brilliant at it, but when he tried to teach me, I found it wasn’t as easy as it looked. Good luck!
Thanks Ann
I have one of those gadgets, as the house originally had gas lighting and electric lighting. The electrics were re-done within the past 10 years, so I mostly know where those cables run. The gas was cut off years ago to where the old gas lamps were, and we got a gas safe man to double check that, but there are obviously still pipes in the walls as the gadget does a lot of beeps, and as you go in a certain direction it beep beep beeps, but go above or below or sometimes to the side and there are no beeps. The gadget proved really handy in the bathroom as the original water pipes were buried in the walls.
You are right DIY is not as easy as it looks. My partner was good at it and enjoyed it. I need to get trades in to do some of the jobs (so many things in the house have suddenly gone wrong), but am a bit reluctant to do that at the moment, unless it is absolutely necessary, due to the covid situation, and also some days I wouldn’t feel up to dealing with workmen/workwomen.
That is the thing with a relationship, you each bring your own strengths and expertise to it. After bereavement that shared balance is gone, and the scales are very wibbly wobbly.
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You are so right about not having tradespeople here at the moment. Even when we can, I am not looking forward to hearing work going on in the house and it’s not Tony. I find this hard when the gardener comes as well. I hear digging etc going on, and it has to be done, but it does upset me. Will we ever cope, I wonder?
Hi Gary54
This does bring comfort to me. To know that George is now taken to his final destination.
If you are a believer we have a hope.
Have a blessed day as difficult as it is as the tears still flow from me.
Juneie
Hi Heartbroken1
There are so man things that Sheila has managed in her several years without Peter which gives me hope. Like you I have my children well young adults at home who will fly the nest soon so nice to sit and eat with them and have some company. Not the same as eating with George though. Like you I wish I put so much into my time with George instead of being argumentative and flippant at times. I think I felt we would be together forever and forever. It’s carrying on for my children who are also in pain I know.
Juneie
Thanks AnnR for your compliment i miss George dearly.
Juneie
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I carry on for my daughter. I relatively young so I have a long time ahead of me. I have been with my husband all my adult life and it’s a total life change , I thought I was strong - we’ve been through something terrible a few years back and come out the other side but this has absolutely floored me. Turns out I was only strong when my husband was by my side. Right now , 11 weeks on , I still can’t accept he’s gone forever band it feels like he’s gone out and just disappeared, like a missing person , it’s the strangest feeling and different to how I felt last week. I also can’t hear his voice in my head , even if I watch a video straight afterwards his voice still won’t come into my head. Looking at his photo and thinking doesn’t do it either. I’m desperate to hear his voice bin my mind and it’s scaring me that I’ll lose other memories too, I know that sounds daft.
We are , those of us who have our “kids” at home, very lucky to have them with us on this dreadful journey , but I also feel guilty about the amount of pain my daughter is seeing and that she is also suffering her own loss and that I can’t help her.
It’s very hard to go on , especially the way the world is right now , I feel my life isn’t ever going to get better, but we’re told it will, that we will cope. Let’s hope so. Best wishes to you and your family x
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Dear Heartbroken1
It is very painful if you are young with young children growing up it must be extremely difficult especially if you have had them schooling at home etc I don’t know what I would have done in that instance.
My children are 18 upwards in their 20’s and not moving soon by the looks of it?
I love them to pices they are goo children very good. My husband was an excellent role model of a father for them all was so very close to his daughter the youngest at 18.
It is hard for all of us on this site like you I watch his videos try and listen to his voice and want to see him. The photos around the house make me so tearful especially as he died suddenly and again like you it feels like he is on holiday somewhere.
This pandemic has a big question mark over it and I’m pleased he is not around for things as they are.
I am 60 in June and therefore will be winding down from my job do not want to work for ever and not enjoy anything I’ve worked for. We also need to prepare the way for our children so they are provided for when we are no longer around. Losing George suddenly has put a different perspective on life.
Your children will keep your memories alive as they are a product of your life with your loved one.
Juneie
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Heartbroken1 my son has just done the classic behaviour as my husband would have done. I have just ordered some furniture and I want a personal cream single sofa for myself. He has told me to choose the same as all the others so they are the same…that is just what my husband would have said. It’s as if he has turned into my husband overnight. Last night he got stressed over something…again like my husband.
I think the mannerisms, etc will come alive in our children and bring a smile to your face.
I had to re-iterate it is my personal chair and do not want it to colour co-ordinate!!!
Juneie
Heartbroken 1, my husband died 14 weeks ago and I too have worried that I can’t recall my husband’s voice, see him clearly in my mind anymore even in such a short space of time…The fear of losing those precious memories made me feel so panicky that I felt I couldn’t breathe. A counsellor told me that this is a common experience and is caused by the acute stress , fear and shock that we are feeling right now. Our brains are simply too overloaded with so much going on, paperwork, decisions - the list is endless. I was advised that , over time, when the immediate stress lessens our minds will, once again, hold our loved ones as we wish. I hope that this may help. I have felt the same fears.
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Hi Juneie
I started writing earlier and a. Blue B showed up. You don’t have a blue B in a circle. That must be someone else so I am starting over.
You mentioned in another message that you were glad that you have comfort that your husband is in his final destination. That’s good for me too. But there is much more. There will be a new Heaven after Jesus returns…
It is much more than anything anyone in this world can imagine how great it will be. It is far beyond our minds can imagine.
It is wonderful that we will see them too all perfect when they are 33 years. The age Jesus was crucified.
This gives me much comfort.
Try to be grateful that he is with Jesus and mean it. It really can take the pain away. It has helped me so much
Try it.
Blessings
G
Hi Gary54
What an encouraging message. You have made me cry …not in an awful way in a rejoicing way. It is so hard because in our human fleshy self you want the person with you. Just being June seems not quiet right. I know what you mean as my faith weakened but I am comfited by Jeremiah 29.11 and have to hold that dear as I do certainly have hope for the future on this earth and with the Lord.
Thanks very much for your deep encouragement this site is made up of special and wonderful people. Had it not been for George’s death I would not have come to virtually meet so many others.
Juneie