Juneie.
Hi yes it would be great to meet up. But…
Do you know I live in the USA.
So maybe email will have to suffice.
My oldest son has been a great help to me also.
If you would like my email
We could exchange those if you would like
I used to live in the UK.
I went to boarding school in the Isle of Wight. Then I went to Cornwall to finish.
There is just so much to say.
Take care
G
Ahh that would be very socially distanced. I’ve always wanted to visit America never been. I think for now it will have to be virtual or email I don’t mind that. I will send it into Sue Rider and they can pass it on to you as they do ask us to be careful with disclosing emails, contact numbers etc just in case as not everyone is registered who is on this Community Online. Anyhow I vert trusting of everyone but nowadays better to be safe.
You have a goodnight x
Juneie
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Sheila there are no words… just know words feel like swearing but I better not. So much trauma for you so much loss and incompetence and no one held accountable. It’s amazing you’re still standing!!!
The injustice and negligence is evident legally the medical profession always has an answer they did against my son who is special needs as my husband even got a solicitor involved regarding his birth Samuel has special needs and they said it was difficult to prove negligence at delivery. Anyhow on this site our experiences always resonate with each other.
The pain the hurt for you is unimaginable.
Hope you can live with some joy despite all the rubbish that’s happened.
Juneie x
Juneie, Ok. Not sure how that will work
You would have to initiate it.
I am not computer savvy.
G
Hi Juneie
On second thought.
We can write on this community.
There’s also private message.
That’s almost the same as email
No worries
G
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Yeah no problem I’m ok with that. My son helping me alot with on line things. Always putting my hand up so I understand. Right I’m gonna try an get some sleep its just after midnight in UK.
Goodnight Gary54
Juneie
Dear Juneie, I loved this photo you sent – thank you! How I wish you were in a better position than you are now - you were such a lovely couple — I have shed tears for you — I am feeling very sad for you. I used to be where you once were — This is so dad! I am so sorry for you dear lady.
Please accept my deepest sympathy!
Herb
Hi Herb
Thank you so much. My heart aches for George. He was a true gentleman my provider protector and lover. I miss him. Wonderful photos videos all over the place he took his camera everywhere. No basic camera the updated version always.
I had 33 years with George expected to grow old together.
Well there you have it.
Life is short too short for many of us on this site sharing our pain helps. I went from home to marriage George is all I know.
I ask God for strength daily.
Have a good day Herb. I am sorry for your loss also.
Juneie
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Hi Sheila lots of similarities isn’t life precious. I’m having to do everything now. I wish I had learned when George was alive. He did all the finances he saw it as his role. I did all the children things. Although he cooked beautifully and would do all the cooking. I was totally spoilt now I have to stand on my own 2 feet.
Juneie
Sheila, you never cease to amaze me! Ann
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Sheila wow I’ve got alot to learn. You are amazing just like my mum she’s your age and is so self sufficient oh goodness listening to you…there’s hope for me but I have alot learn.
Thanks for sharing all that Sheila like AnnR said you are amazing x
Juneie
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I agree with the other comments - I too am in awe Sheila of what you do and I will try and take courage from it. My husband died only 14 weeks ago . In that short time so many things have gone wrong in our house -in a weird way it’s as though the house is mourning him too. Each time something stops working I have a complete meltdown because my husband would deal with all practical matters and I haven’t a clue what to do. Such incidences are just another harsh reminder of how things have changed in my life; of my new normal. Next week I have to make important and long-lasting decisions about pensions and finance; the one person I would trust to guide me through the unfathomable maze of pensions is no longer with me. It’s not that I can’t do things, it’s just so much easier to have your partner there as a ‘sounding board’ to discuss all these important things with. Every day the loss of him is like a knife in my heart. And tonight, I will watch ‘Line Of Duty’ for the first time without my lovely husband there to tell me when I can ‘look’ when it all gets too scary or gory . It’s just a silly thing , a television programme, but it’s just another thing that I will never ever do with him again. People constantly tell me to think of all the lovely things we did together - why can’t they understand that just makes you even more aware, if that’s possible, of the enormity of what you have lost and will never ever do again - whether it’s watching tv, making financial decisions, planning a holiday or just what to have for dinner. All so unbearably hard.
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Your post resonated with me as I’ve been tying myself in knots over line of duty too. That was our TV programme how can I watch without him 
. I’ve had loads of wobbles over Tv and food when I go to supermarket and see things I used to buy for him 🥲. Thank you for sharing. Four months for me and still so raw .
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All of what you have written is so so heartbreakingly true. I lost my husband almost 11 weeks ago and nothing is getting easier. Today for the first time I went out shopping with my best friend since I lost my husband, I could not buy the food he ate anymore , I couldn’t phone him to double check if there was anything else we needed, every street we drove down I just thought I’ll never ever drive down this road with him ever again, we’ll never have a crafty chippy lunch again the list goes on. My whole life has changed forever and I hate it and quite frankly really don’t want to be here without him. But I must go on living this new life for my daughter, I just can’t see when I’m ever going to accept this way of living. I’m just existing til I can be with him again
Julie 69, so many times I’ve been to the supermarket and picked up things to put in my basket before reality hits me. Then I put the items back and just buy some milk and go back home again. I just can’t seem to accept the truth of the situation though it’s 14 weeks tomorrow. Denial? Putting off the inevitable I don’t know. All I know is tonight I should be serving up a lovely Sunday roast right now and pouring a couple of glasses of wine before settling down to watch tv later . Perhaps Julia 69 we should both watch our programme - and really concentrate and then we can tell our husbands all about it before we go to bed tonight. And make it seem, one more time, that they are with us.
So many lovely replies that are so true. Choosing what to cook and eat just for yourself is very strange and made me realise how much I enjoyed planning and sharing food with my husband, such a simple thing but a life long pleasure.
I know there are many things that I CAN do but it is just more enjoyable to share these things.
I am also in awe of Sheila, I wouldn’t dream of tackling concrete! Amazing 
Heartbroken1 even the simplest task is painful isn’t it?. I still have things in the food cupboards which only my husband ate - yet I still can’t throw things out though I will never eat them. I ‘m just in limbo. I can’t go back yet I can’t move forward.Our lives have changed in every single regard. Our futures are not as we hoped they might be. But you mention you have a daughter - and I suppose that she too has a ‘new normal’ that she doesn’t want to get used to . Perhaps together you can find a way to manage the enormous changes , even if only a day at a time. I have been on my own - I don’t have have children , my husband has grown children from a first marriage - since the day of the funeral 2 days before Christmas . I used to be so busy always looking after my husband now, with just me to think about, everything is just too much bother. Like you , I can’t wait to be with my husband again - and then I’ll never lose him again.
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People’s comments from today have resonated with me. I haven’t watched call of duty as it was our programme too. I am in two minds whether to watch on catch up. I sympathise with things round the house going wrong. The strangest things have suddenly stopped working/broken, some I have tackled, others I am leaving til I feel stronger. Some will need workmen to fix. There has been no rhyme or reason to it all. The frustration at the ever mounting problems and hurdles to overcome has caused many tears. There are so many things I wish I had asked my partner about, that I will never now know the answers to. I planted up a tub of violas (a favourite of my partner’s). Looked away for a couple of seconds and there was a white fluffy feather on top of the soil. Today there have been the sounds of footsteps around the house. It was really freaking daughter and grandson out earlier. I was fine while they were here. I said it was possibly from next door. However, now it is night time and I am on my own I am not feeling quite so calm! This bereavement state of mind is, I believe, a form of madness. I don’t feel I will ever be me as I was ever again!
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I did watch line of duty tonight , but I am lucky enough to have my daughter living with me still but all the way through all I could think was he’s missing all this , he won’t know now who’s corrupt. It is like a madness isnt it!
Also I am trying my best in the garden but I don’t enjoy gardening , it was always his domain, I feel like I’m being disrespectful rooting about in the greenhouse , it was somewhere that was Toms and I never interfered. And I too keep finding white feathers at the strangest and most needed moments.
There are so many things in 11 weeks he’s missed out on and such a lot I want to discuss and tell him and I still feel guilty that I didn’t do enough in the days before he passed and the night he died. I tried my best for him but it wasn’t enough and feel I let him down 
The above sentence so reasonates with me, there are so many things I wish I had asked or discussed with Karen.
It is too late now
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